Ads 468x60px

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Quintessential Hockey Mom

I have always been afraid to be the mom of boys. When my first son was born I was nervous to say the least. Nervous about the extra appendage, the temper tantrums, the "boy" stuff...I was convinced that because I was a girl I would know how to take care of girls.
Once he was born, there wasn't really a learning curve. I really enjoyed being the mom to a little boy. The only downside that I could see was that many of my peers and friends were having girls instead. So finding friends for my son (same sex friends) was tough, but other than that, nothing. When we became pregnant with our second son I wasn't really feeling either way, in regards to having another son, I was happy that my boys would be brothers.
When finding out that I am expecting another son (surprise!!!) this time around, I have to say that I wasn't was a funny feeling actually. I was more upset that I wasn't going to have that relationship that I have with my own mother. Not saying that boys can't have meaningful relationships with their sons, just that I wanted to recreate that relationship with my mom.
After a couple days of processing that I am going to be the mother of 3 boys, I have wondered what is it about being the mom of boys that makes me so nervous.
I have come up with a few things.
First, boys seem to move on when they get married. So I am nervous that I will be left alone. Secondly, women have much more influence on their girls than their boys. My biggest fear is that my boys will end up marrying some girl who parents completely different than me and I will have to watch idly by as my grandchildren are left to cry, or they use corporal punishment or whatever. And who am I to say how some other woman parents their children....even if they are my grandchildren.
Third, and this may be a bit crazy, but I really think that having daughters helps you in the long run. Men can idolize their mothers, and I would like my sons to tell me what they think, without fear of repercussion. It's my opinion that a daughter challenges her mother more and therefore when a mother becomes a mother-in-law, she will be able to handle the rambunctious daughter-in-law better.
Does this mean that the son does not challenge his mother, no not at all....but I do feel that son's tend to "baby" their moms more than daughters.
I guess I am not too excited to be that mom. The one of the three boys in sports, or the aggressiveness...but I am hoping that the way that I parent them will offset that a bit.
Fingers Crossed!


Kelly said...

I think I always wanted all boys because I didn't want to repeat the relationship I had with my mom! But I guess I'm raising my daughters a lot differently than I was raised, so hopefully it won't be as bad.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...


Networked Blogs