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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Complete Lack of Motivation

I have stuff to do today, lots of stuff. Laundry, cleaning my kitchen, finishing my bedroom, sorting through more clothes, dishes, a shower, and it goes on....
My issue is this complete and utter lack of motivation. All I am doing is looking at Blog lists, refreshing on Facebook, and checking my email...again and again.
Why? Why am I so unmotivated?
Pregnancy could be a factor, but I slept pretty well last night. Going outside is a huge factor, as I hate the snowy cold wintertime...esp. when it is -30c. Maybe that I am nice and warm in my own house is an issue too....
I am also thinking that it could be the fact that I am reading that Mama Renew book and it is making me drudge up all these emotions and it emotionally drains me. Also, with the other "stress" going on with my life that I just can't seem to let go of.
I was really hoping that my friend would call me yesterday so that I could let go of the AP group for good.
I have re-joined the Mothering dot Commune, which I used to frequent very regularly before becoming a moderator, and with talks of my husband and I relocating, maybe its better that I give myself some space from my community. I just don't feel that it is giving me what *I* need. I don't feel like it is *my* tribe anymore.
I don't really know any of the new people that post on a regular basis, and a lot of the questions are really redundant...I guess that is what happens when you are pregnant with your 3rd baby...sleep, and eating is just something you do.
I would rather spend my time getting more education or writing articles or something that feeds my soul.
Lots to think about anyway.


Deb said...

Sorry to hear that you're leaving the group, but good for you for doing what you need.

I think one of the things happening with parenting groups (of any kind) is the constant renewal of members because new people are always having kids. This is good, of course, but it also has other effects.

That first year (or so) of your first child's life is very idealistic. You've read all the books and decided how to parent. Your child will never watch tv or eat junk food. You're always there for them when they cry as soon as they cry. This idealism probably runs higher in an AP group as well.

Once your kids are getting older and/or you have more then one, that idealism starts to shift more to realism. You can't realistically do everything for the second child that you did for the first because now you have 2 (or 3, or more). You start to choose your battles and some of the things that seemed so important when your first was a newborn aren't such a big deal.

And then you start to question how much it even matters. Because as you've said, temperament trumps parenting style...

I think it can become hard for these groups to mesh. The idealist and the realist parent. And those new parents don't want to hear that it doesn't matter that much how they choose to parent, because right now, that choice is one of the most important things in their life right now.

I also hear you on the lack of motivation, but I'm not going to fully address that right now, because I am going to force myself to clean the kitchen instead. :)

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