Skip the Babyshower! Have a Mother Blessing Instead!

When I was pregnant with my first child (almost 9 years ago) I was determined to check off every item that babycentre canada said that I needed as a first time mom. My husband and i were both students so we were not as flush as we would have hoped and so we thought a good way to get baby items was to throw a babyshower. It was a good time for sure. We played all of the party games and I got a ton of swag....which I barely even used.

The part about a babyshower that no one tells you is that you probably won't be using all of the "must haves" that the baby companies say that you need. In reality, you only need clothing and diapers. Other than that, everything else is completely personal. (We didn't even use our crib!)
So when baby number 2 and 3 came around I decided to go the more non-traditional route and have a Blessing Way.

A Mother Blessing or Blessingway is a tradition that is taken from many other traditions and then melded to make a beautiful ceremony that celebrates women and motherhood.
Traditionally it is comprised of a group of women that are mothers but who are also incredibly close to the mother who is being celebrated. The guest list is very intimate and extremely exclusive. If a woman invites you to her blessing way, she feels that you alone have a very special place in her heart, and it something to feel very honoured about. (you don't just invite everyone.)

There is no right way to plan a Blessingway, as every mothers needs are different, just as every woman is different. A mother blessing for a first time mom will look very different from that of a second time mom, or a mom who has/going to have a C-birth or a VBAC. If you are hosting the Blessingway for your friend/sister it is important to know this and plan accordingly.

I thought it might be nice if I explained how my own blessing ways typically go, so that you can get a better idea and start planning one for a close girlfriend, or get someone to throw one for you!

About a month before the event send out the invitations. In the invite let everyone know what a Blessingway is and ask them to bring a bead that will be strung on the birth mother's neck while in labour so that she can remember everyone who is there to support her during her birth. Ask them to come with a couple of blessings in mind, one for the mom about her birth, one for the baby, and one for the mom about how her life will change.

Also, ask the guests to bring a potluck item for everyone to share. After the ceremony, it's always nice to nosh together and just talk.

On the day of, if the mother wanted people to place their blessings inside her belly cast, then make sure that she has already made one a couple days before. If not, and she wants to do a belly cast, this can be a fun activity to do at the Blessing so make sure you have the items available.

Once all the guests arrive and are seated in a circle, go around the circle and have each woman introduce herself by her mothers lineage. For example, My name is Alisha, daughter of Ruth, Granddaughter of Audrey, and so on. At this point each woman lights a candle. These candles are to stay lit for the whole ceremony, and at the end each woman takes hers home to re-light when the mother goes into labour. It is also nice at this point to have each mom tell a funny story about the mom-to-be, or how they met, or why they feel their friendship is valuable etc. (The whole point is to make the mom feel supported).

Next, each woman goes around the circle and places a bead on a string, explaining why they chose that particular bead, and what significance it has to them or the new mom, while doing this they also state the wish that they have for the upcoming birth. For example, "I wish for your birth to be one of complete calmness and love. To birth with openness and strength." Once the necklace is done it is placed around the mothers neck.

Next, there is a little pampering where the mother can get her feet washed, hair brushed, nails painted, henna started (henna on the belly). Sometimes a crown of flowers will be placed on her head. Just to signify how beautiful she is; inside and out. Sometimes women bring items for a pampering basket for after the baby is born.

After the pampering is done, the attendants are asked to share their hopes and dreams for the child and mother. They can also be asked to write them down, as to keep a scrapbook if the mother so wished. For example, "My wish for your child is that they are happy and healthy. My wish for you is to have patience  and understand that the early years are so fleeting. Embrace your child with all the love you feel for them now, everyday."

When all of the blessings are over, get a ball of yarn and tie a couple loops around each woman's wrist. This signifies that all the women in the circle are connected and they are asked to wear that bracelet until the baby is born, so that each time they look down at their wrist they think of the special day, the mother, the child and all of the women who were in the room. (After the baby is born everyone can cut their bracelets off - but sometimes the new mom will wear it for 6 weeks post-partum or until it falls off to remind her of the support that is still there if she needs it.)

Lastly, the candles are blown out and all of the women move to the food table. Sharing stories of motherhood, life and support. Sometimes there is a sign-up list for each woman to bring a meal to the family when the child makes an appearance.

I hope that was informative for all of you, and I hope that maybe you will throw one of these, or go to one in the future. If you have any questions or comments please leave them below.

Arbonne Product Review and my First Giveaway!

When my friend Kim from Two Bugs and a Blog asked me if I wanted to try out some Arbonne products I jumped at the chance. Ever since becoming a mom I have had a really hard time getting out of the house and taking time for myself. This includes exercise and personal care. I want to get products that are mostly natural after watching The Story of Cosmetics by Annie Leonard, and just being more conscious about it. Now, I now that not all products are going to be able to be 100% natural and I just can not get on the "no poo" bandwagon... really, I can't. 

You know how some people have problems using natural cleaning supplies because clean doesnt actually smell like anything and they want their houses to smell like Pine Sol? Mine is shampoo... if it doesn't smell like flowers and lathers like no body's business then I am not into it. 

Anyway, I am getting off topic. So when my friend offered to drop some different samples to my house I was stoked. I am actively looking for something for my face. I am now going to be the mom of 4 and it is showing in my eyes, and under them. I was super surprised that she dropped off a whole basket of actual products. Bottles of products to use for the whole week! I was expecting little packets that wouldn't even last a day. I was able to actually try all the products out in the comfort of my own home. (apparently this is a thing that Arbonne does). 

So, I have decided to put together a post to show you my favourites and one lucky local reader will get a free bottle of ABC Hair and Body Wash. How fun is that? Plus it's my first giveaway... (going into the big leagues with blog giveaways!!) 

The first product that I really liked was the Pure Vibrance Mousse. I use mousse right now - but it's a drug store brand. Studio something or other. It works okay, but it still leaves my hair really heavy, which isn't so great with fine hair like I have. I was actually surprised how well this mousse worked and it was really fluffy and left my hair really soft. Also, it smells great - see, the smell thing. So I really liked it!! 

The Shea Butter Hand lotion was really used. I love Shea Butter and this reminded me of the Body Shop but in tube form. I used this everyday, twice a day and it is the one product that I think I may have to have a Arbonne party just so I can buy it. It wasn't sticky or greasy, but it kept my chronic dry hands really hydrated. It's small enough to fit in your purse too, that is where I would keep it! 

Lastly, I just had to try the sunscreen. I love that it is waterproof, that it is not greasy and that it smells good. I think these are all really good qualities of a good sunscreen. I use the Badger stuff on my kids and am okay with the price because they are smaller people and do not burn as easy as me. I, on the other hand, have to re-apply every 45 mins and make sure that it is a thick coat or I turn into a lobster. Not pretty. This kept me protected and I didn't burn at all. It's a must have for sure. 

I was pretty impressed with the products that I tried and these were just my top picks. There were many more in the basket that were wonderful and I will have to have a party to buy them. 

I do love a home party (as I have no time at all to go anywhere....plus I love shopping from home). 

I would at least give them a try, what do you really have to lose?! 

So now for the GIVEAWAY. 

Answer in comments - How do you fit in your beauty care routine when you have young children to take care of? 

I will choose a random person by throwing all your names in a hat and having my youngest pick the winner! Contest closes on JUNE 30 at 11:59pm. (MST)

40 Week Pregnancy T-shirt Tutorial

As I said in my last post this pregnancy has hit me the hardest out of all of the 4 pregnancies that I have experienced. I think because of this I am having more ambivalence towards this pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I am super excited to meet my new little bundle of joy, but the pregnancy is really draining.

So to get me out of my funk and to give this baby the excitement that he/she deserves I decided to make a cute pregnancy t-shirt to help me remember to take pictures - and to easily remember when I look back!

Want to know how I made this adorable shirt? Wait no more! 

First, you need to go and buy a shirt that will accommodate your bump as it grows. I know how big I get as this is not my first rodeo. For some women a bigger t-shirt from Superstore would be great, for others a maternity shirt would be a better choice. 

I chose a cheap maternity tank from Old Navy - in case I made a mistake and had to buy another one. 

Next you need fabric paint and a stencil.

I bought spray fabric paint because I thought it would be easier - but it turns out that what I had first thought of wasn't that easy.

It still worked for me. I just used a sponge tip brush and sprayed the paint on another surface and then blotted my brush and applied. 

When using the the stencils I used a lot of scotch tape to make sure that I didn't go over and mark up the rest of the shirt. 

I wish that I had bought two stencils as the double digits were a little more challenging. 

However, it all worked out in the end and I am so happy with the results!! 

So tell me, how would you mark off the dates?? 

Pity Post - pay no mind...

I am awake at 1:16am due to hunger and pregnancy induced insomnia...

Today was a interesting day, mood wise.

We went and saw a show home that we can now afford because of my husbands new job. It was lovely. I fell in love with it immediately. You know when you have your list in your head of every little thing that you may want one day...this was my forever house. I could live there NO problem for years. The only thing is that my husband would have to stay a rig worker for 10 years to pay off the mortgage.

Also, I am starting to get nervous about the 8 day away thing. Supper and bedtime are the hardest parts of the day for me and I will really miss my hubby, but I have to keep looking at the bigger picture. I know we can do this...and if I lived in that house it would be even more do-able...lol.

All this is exacerbated by this damn Graves bullshit. It's really hitting home for me today, and probably the actual reason why I am awake. I mean no one is actually "normal" but to actually know that you have a disease that affects your quality of life is really daunting. And the treatments scare the shit out of me. (this is my blog I can swear if I want). I mean, cutting your neck!! Your NECK. Good lord. I can't even take pre-natals because they make me gag, but I am supposed to go on meds for my whole life? Every day? And radiation...radiation?! I can't even go into that one, as I will just get more upset.

I haven't been googling Graves a lot because I don't want to hear horror stories, or get myself too worked up with mis-information...but I did join a support group on Facebook, and while the stories are uplifting and people are getting treatment, I keep noticing that they all have my symptoms. Some of these symptoms are ones that I didn't even know WERE symptoms....like my eye twitch, and watering. I thought that it was just stress from my husband. I got it after having Ryan...now apparently it is one of the first signs.

I keep hoping, and praying that this is just some mistake. I mean they haven't *actually* diagnosed me yet. I haven't had the antibody test to make sure that it is, as it is super hard to figure that out in pregnancy...so they will have to wait until I give birth and the hormones all fix themselves.. THEN we can go get tested.

I just really hope it isn't. (and that it isnt cancer either.)

This really really sucks.

Still Processing

We have had many big things happen this week and I am still processing them but am feeling that we may be getting back to normal. My husband gave his 2 weeks from a job that he has worked at for 6 years to work up north for an 8 on shift...which will be a big change..

I will post more about it once we get closer as stuff is still being worked out.

I am having tones of Braxton Hicks which is normal for me to start getting at this stage of the game (28weeks). Just more tiring than anything.

And as for a follow-up from my last post...I am feeling so grateful for all the wonderful support and advice that people are giving me. I really feel like I have a strong network of friends and family to draw on in the next couple years while I figure all this stuff out.

I am def. leaning towards another baby tho...just to delay deciding anything at this moment at time. :)

My oldest will be starting soccer in March...I will then be a soccer mom...so why not add another boy to the mix....

(I dont think my husband reads this....)

Life

This is a harder post than I thought it would be. I have been trying to write it since yesterday, but the words are not as available as I would have hoped, which means that I am still processing.

I was diagnosed with an auto immune disorder yesterday. Graves disease. The reason why I have been a toothpick for over 6 years.

See, I started at about 120 lbs before having my kids, and my last weight was just over 90 lbs, on a 5'6" frame...needless to say I look pretty emaciated.

But, still able to get pregnant, and gain weight while pregnant; so kinda confusing.

When I was pregnant with my last child the midwives noticed that my thyroid levels were low, and we got them retested but they normalized so we stopped investigating. This time they were even lower, almost non-existent. So they kept testing and a specialist finally decided that Graves is what I have had since my early 20's.

I have very conflicting feelings about getting the diagnosis. On the one hand I feel relieved that it isnt cancer, or something worse. I am also surprised to find out that all of the weird things that I thought were just quirks of myself, are actually symptoms...like tingly fingers, and insomnia.

I am also freaking out about the treatments that are available.

Basically there are 3.

1) Radiation - my least favourite but most effective treatment. While I don't get the willies from radiation itself, I am nervous to either a) have to wean my child prematurely, and b) not be around them for at least 4 days after treatment. I have not ever been away from my kids for 48hrs, let alone 4 days....and my oldest is almost 5.

2) Surgery - again, the need for weaning, and not being there for my children. Not to mention a huge scar across my neck...partial decapitation is not something one would look forward to.

3) Medication - 30% effective...not really good odds. Again the weaning, the doctor did say that I could nurse while on medication...but at the same time, what would this medication do to my new little buddy.

So, the neat thing is that pregnancy actually inhibits this disorder, but I can't be pregnant forever. Although this may cause me to try for #4 in a year or two....if only to delay these choices. The worse part is that I am an attachment parent that *wants* to nurse for as long as mutually agreeable, and *wants* to wear my baby close, and not leave my kids for long periods of time.

Sushi and Pregnancy.

I ate sushi last night. There I said it. I went against the grain and ate my share of glorious california rolls, salmon, tuna, red snapper, a spicy tuna roll, and the like. It was so good.

I am a huge sushi fan and so are my kids, so it is hard for our family to take it out of our diets for a whole 9 months. My kids actually like it, and are well behaved in a Sushi restaurant, so when I get pregnant I mourn for the days that I can go back and have my monthly Sushi infusion.

So last night was payday, and my son's second birthday is this weekend, and we decided to treat ourselves to a meal out. We asked the kids and the bigger one said Sushi. (we know the little one loves it just as much.) So we went.

Once we sat down we noticed that they changed the menu and the cheapest way for a family of 4 to eat was to get the Sushi for 2 and a couple extra avocado rolls.

I have always known of the concern about Sushi, Lunch Meats, Hotdogs, Soft Cheeses etc. So I was a little nervous consuming the fish. But I did. :)

I justified it by saying that women smoke through their whole pregnancy and what is a little bacteria on a fish going to do to me? I mean I haven't even gotten that H1N1 Vaccine as of yet, and that seems to be a much bigger deal.

As I ate each scrumptious piece I felt so guilty, but so satisfied at the same time.

I sat there thinking *why* was it so bad to eat Sushi? I mean, didnt women in Japan eat it everyday? Wouldn't they continue to eat it in pregnancy? My husband commented that perhaps they had the right bacteria in their stomachs to combat the bacteria. But I eat sushi once a month, so I must have that same bacteria. I also thought, maybe it was the mercury? If that was the case, I would just not eat Tuna, or Salmon for a couple months. (but all food is bad, someway or another. See Food Inc. if you don't believe me.)

So then I thought if I got sick I could tell the doctor I ate Sushi and then they would know how to treat it.

I then decided that all this would have been solved with an iPhone, and then put that on my Christmas list.

When I got home I googled, and guess what...I was right, and it is a fallacy. I was actually shocked. I expected to have many articles on just how bad Sushi is, but found that it's actually just one of those things you need to eat in moderation. Sure, bacteria exsits, and so does the mercury, but not in high enough levels in the fish choices I ate, and I live in the suburbs in a city, the restaurant that I chose to eat at is spotless.

You certainly learn something new everyday!

Want to read for yourself? Check out here, here, here and here.

Lastly, douzo meshiagare!!! (enjoy your meal!)

Pregnant Again.

Yep, thats right.

Pregnant AGAIN....lol. It's kind of funny how when someone adds a second child everyone is excited and thinks its great that the first child wont be an "only" but when you add a 3rd....well then you are just crazy. I think having ANY children is crazy, but having more than one is just certifiable.

I am grouchy, and grumpy and overworked. Yes, I have 2 boys already that were making me nuts. And morning sickness, oh morning sickness, or in my case "all fricken day sickness" sucks. Period. I feel like crap, and look like crap, and completely lack the motivation to do anything that is work related, or school related.

They say, "this too shall pass..."

Not soon enough I am afraid.

The Cat is Out of the Bag...

My cousin is pregnant! Her sister told my brother so that means that it doesn't have to be a secret anymore! I am so excited. When she told me I went on and on about midwives and why they are so much better than doctors, breastfeeding info, birthing info and on and on. I must have kept her on the phone for over an hour!
My family doesn't want me to jump the gun, they want me to relax and leave her alone. Which I am honestly trying to do. It's just that I am so excited. I also feel so passionately about birth and babies. And of course I think my way is the best way. Not that I would try and force her to be an attachment parent, I would just let her know that there are alternatives out there.
So much information. I just wish that someone had let me know about all this when Keenan was little, not that I didn't have a lot of info, but I would have like to have a Tummy Tub and a good sling. (I do still love the bjorn)
I wish I had read parenting books and gone to a couple Le Leche Leugue meeting before I had Keenan so I could have been more confident when I had my Breastfeeding issues and I could have fixed them sooner head on.
It is because of all my experiances that I want my cousin to be prepared and it takes more than 9mos to do it. That is why I talked her ear off and why I will continue to harass her all throughout her pregnancy.

Midwives

This has been a very busy weekend!! On Friday we had our prenatal appointment with our Midwives. This time it was Toby. We talked about my low lying placenta and if I should have another ultrasound. We decided to wait until the 32 week to decide as it is not threatening to me or the baby. We also talked about cord blood banking which we have to make a decision on in less than 2 weeks as you are only eligible until the 30th week. Seems expensive right now but can you put a price on your child's life?
All that is left in the nursery is decorating it!! Thats the funnest part! Im getting so excited!!!!

First Post

I can't believe how hungry I am! I am now into the third trimester and I can out-eat Chris no problem! I am eating at least 6 times a day! I wish that I had started this earlier but I have just been so tired, and busy.
Mr.Baby moves quite a bit so I know that everything is okay! I start my prenatal classes next week as well as a pregnancy massage! (I'm so spoiled I know it!)