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Friday, January 29, 2010

The Same, not Different

I have been listening to some of my friends and aquantinces about how difficult it is to raise boys, and all of the challenges that they face with their sons.
At first people suggest that it could be a variety of things, as kids are usually affected by many different environmental factors.
Food. The types, organic or non, dairy, food colouring, gluten, frequency of eating, or not eating for that matter.
Potty. Whether they go potty really affects the mood of kids. I know that mine get aggressive when they need to pee.
Energy. Too much sleep, not enough sleep, exercise, how much running do they need? The more energy they burn off the better it is for everyone involved. (hard in the winter)
There can also be many more things that we just don't know that affect boys and girls equally, development, environment, brain...etc.
I started thinking that perhaps that it may be because some of these moms have girls as well...
Let me explain. It's no secret that I believe that girls and boys are hardwired perhaps the mom expects her son to act a certain way and that he is such a handful because her daughter isn't?
I think this could be a real answer for some of these moms...I see them with both of their children, or all three, and see that the girls are talked to in a different manner. For example, "Hunny, can you please get your boots on" vs. "(Child's name) put your boots on."
It could be that the boy is harder to deal with and that he needs that direct-ness, but I dont think so.
I think that I have the benefit of seeing that both of my boys are equally challenging in their own ways and am better to just go with the flow than try to understand what is causing it. Just by listening to them and giving the opportunity to get angry and frustrated without me coming down on them allows them more time to process and then we get on with our day!


Kelly said...

My kids must be the exception. Judith is a lot more like typical "boys" and Gideon is the opposite, at least behaviour-wise. Judith has boundless energy and isn't always cooperative, where Gideon is happy to sit quietly and play by himself, and is just generally a sweetheart.

Sam said...

I guess I'm of the mindset that kids are just kids. I absolutely believe that boys and girls are fundamentally different, but I don't believe that one is "harder" and one is "easier". They've each got their own challenges, that's for sure. I think as a parent our job is not to generalize our kids and loop them into a category, but to really get to know them and see how they need to be parented. Mom knows best!

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