Inspiration.

I first want to start off by saying that I have had people tell me that I should really read Alfie Kohn and I have hummed and hawed about it time and time again, so when my friend told me to check out his lecture that was coming up, I thought sure, why not. (Save me from reading the book.)
I was blown away. Never has something resonated with me like his words. It was a religious experience for me. I agreed with EVERY SINGLE WORD that came out of his mouth. And the weird part, so did my husband.
It was amazing.
When I went into university for the first time it was to become a teacher, I made it into my 3 year and met the other people who would be my peers, colleagues and I hated them. (Not all, but a vast majority.) I wanted CHANGE in the system, and they were only in Ed, because the GPA was a 2.5 and they couldn’t get into anything else. They didn’t like kids, they didn’t really care about education, they just needed a job, or a degree and Ed seemed like the way to go.
Needless to say, I was devastated.
I partied way too hard to drown my sorrows of a front to my idealism and dropped out.
Of course I found my way back, but never wanted to go into Ed, as I felt it was too far gone. I started researching different schooling opportunities for my child and homeschoolling came up again and again, although I never thought that *I* would be the only one able to teach my child.
I just feel like as a mom *I* will get lazy and MISS those pivotal teaching moments that arrive once in a blue moon...and you know what Alfie agreed with me.
I was shocked.
I thought he was all for homeschooling/unschooling, why it was my unschooling/homeschooling friends that told me to go and see him...and here he was saying that peer based learning in a integrative model is the best way to ensure a WHOLE child.
I was surprised, I was intrigued, but above all else I was inspired.
I *WISH* I had seen Alfie talk while I was in University...I can tell you one thing; I definitely would have finished my degree, got my masters, and started a Progressive School.

Our House is a very very very Fine House

Sometimes.
I have a love/hate relationship with our house.
I Love....
That I have a house.
That it is in a wicked suburb.
That I have friends around.
That it is in a good school district.
That it is near my family.
That it is new.
That I got to design it.

I Hate......
That the layout sucks.
That I have no backyard.
That I am in the suburbs.
That my friends are too busy to visit.
That it is near my family.
That it is new.
That it is not Eco Friendly.
That there are NO TREES!

Right now there are lots of foreclosures on the market that makes one think that perhaps we should buy, but then what. A big move, loads of money spent etc....

I am always on the fence.

I want to live in a small town where I can walk to the grocery store....Okotoks anyone?

Hit by a Mack Truck....

I feel so achy today. Like all over bruised. Not to mention a headache. So what is up? Well, Ryan has turned into a horrible sleeper, but I know that it will pass because he probably has a crappy sleep because he is constantly teething. Or that I come to bed so late. I want to go to bed at a reasonable hour, but I feel like I never get any down time, or alone time...so if R or K are up to goodness knows when, I will stay up two hours after.
So maybe I feel so sick because I was up til 2, R woke up at 4am and K had preschool this morning...which always makes me feel so tired.
(I was so tired that I actually found myself asleep on the floor next to K during R's nap) brutal. Maybe that is why I feel like someone hit me with a baseball bat. Of course I shouldn't joke about stuff like that today, after what happened to Rihanna.
What is wrong with some men?! Seriously. But that is a whole other rant.

Homeschooling

So I have been grappling with this for a while.
I HATE the public school system. I have for a great while. I don't believe that all kids fit in the same square hole. I would love if we took the time to figure out what learning style our kids had and then give them the tools to learn in the best way...sadly that is not the way it goes and boys seem to suffer more than girls.
So, Keenan is in Preschool and I really don't feel like he is getting much out of it. (I should really go chat with his teachers...) so I have been thinking homeschooling...but I know TWO people who are not complete freaks...or should I say they seem normal.
I have joined these other two groups for homeschooling and the parents on there are so fricken "know it all" isn't homeschooling about learning with your kids...and giving them freedom? Not restrictions? Not to mention I have a massive personality clash with a huge homeschooling proponent. The fact that my child(ren) would have to learn alongside some of these people makes me crazy, but then again, homeschooling, unschooling or traditional schooling all have thier quirks and quacks!
(So what on earth do I do now?)

Tips for having a Newborn and a 3 year old....

I think there is absolutely an adjustment period between one and two,
and some people just cope better than others...it's all about how you
handle stress.
I found that the newborn stage for Ryan was a breeze. I just put him
in the wrap all the time. He just slept in the wrap from day one, so
really it was just like I was still pregnant.
At 6 months however, was when it got really tough for me. Ryan and
Keenan demanded an equal amount of my time and there is only so much
of you that can go around...not to mention that once both kids were
occupied/sleeping Chris would want some one on one. It got really
draining, really fast. So I started taking time for myself. I do yoga
while the kids play beside me, I put Keenan in preschool so I have 4
hours a week with just Ryan. Quiet time when Ryan naps is a must.
(still working in this one). I joined a Babysitting Coop and can use
that when I really need to get out.
I have also pared back my extracurricular/work. I do not work all day
everyday as I was before, I do not work on Tuesdays and Thursdays when
Keenan is home, and we try to get out of the house as a family on
Fridays. Chris and I have also agreed to one night a week where we do
something separate, if that means a movie or a meeting for me, and
jamming for him, that is how it works...we try not to take more than
one day away alone, or we start to resent eachother.
TV is my savior for when Ryan is being put down. Keenan can watch the
Wiggles and I can nurse Ryan down with no interruptions.
You have to do what you can to make YOUR life easier for YOU.
Lastly, I have a couple books on activities to do with kids and try to
pick one a day to do with Keenan. For example, we had a "Backwards
Day" so we started with a bath and then got dressed (clothes on
backwards) and had leftover dinner for breakfast, a BIG lunch, and
pancakes for dinner...kids love it when you get involved so play with
them. :)
If you feel like you can't cope take deep breaths and walk away...and
call a friend who understands...many women on my parenting board have had me
call them when I am in crisis...and it means SO much!!!
Good Luck!
Alisha
mama to keenan and ryan

How to Talk...and Listen

I am reading this book How to Talk so your Kids will Listen....I am really quite enjoying it. I am wondering if they have a course and then maybe I could take it or even teach it. The concepts are quite straight forward.
Verbalizing your feelings, expectations, alternatives to punishment. It's pretty hard work, but I have been going through the workbook and trying really hard. (see yesterdays post) I think that it is working really well...although sometimes he really pushes my buttons.
But I will keep working at it.
I really want to make my house a more peaceful respectful place.

A Wake Up Call.

Today is one of those days that really put my life and the way it is heading in perspective. Keenan is on day three of being sick and so I have been cooped up in the house with no escape, which is fine if you plan on being home, but not so much when you would rather be outside enjoying a chinook.
So Keenan was watching the Wiggles, Ryan was napping (who has been having a horrible time sleeping; but that can be the subject of another post.), and I was otherwise engaged...so Keenan started calling me from upstairs, I called to tell him I would be there in a minute and to be quiet because R was asleep. He kept calling and calling and calling....and woke up Ryan.
I lost it.
I was so incredibly mad that my hour of peace was now wrecked because Keenan didnt understand that he had to be quiet.
I went upstairs and turned off the TV (yes I use TV when Ryan is napping to keep Keenan quiet and occupied), and stated or rather yelled, "I told you to be quiet! Now you have woken up Ryan. No TV!" and I left the room to try and put Ryan down again.
Now Keenan was really upset. He cried and cried and cried, screaming and yelling, so upset that I had gotten angry and turned the TV off.
I lay there nursing Ryan. Thinking of all the times I had nursed Keenan, and feeling satisfied that he was so mad, because I was mad too. And then as the anger began to wane and Keenan was still crying, I started to feel bad. I thought back to an article that Mothering had just done about "unweaning" a 3 year old. And I thought about how much I had pushed Keenan to grow up in the last year that his brother has been alive.
So with Ryan back asleep, I went into the room.
I came in and started with my usual "Why are you crying?" and "Do you know why mommy turned the TV off?" and he was so hurt, and so sad that I stopped thought of the girl in the article and said, "What do you need?"
"A Hug"
I cried. This was still my baby. Who was sick and my need for personal time had clouded my vision of why I was here, and why I had my kids in the first place.
I told him how much I loved him, and that I was sorry, and that mommy would try harder to put him first.
I asked him if he missed nursing, and he said yes. I offered that if he wanted to that he could. And that mommy loved him just as much as Ryan.
He looked at me and said, "That's silly mommy! I am a big boy! Big boys don't nurse!"
That is when I got my wake up call. He really is a big boy, but still needs as much love and support and physical attention as he did as a baby...
So we sat there for the rest of Ryan's nap, snuggling on the bed, with his head on my chest.
I love you Keenan.

AP Lite

My good friend Gemma was chatting me up about the concept of AP Lite. She was saying that she could only be AP if she could be AP Lite. I laughed and asked her what that meant. Basically, once you have kids you become jaded and a bit judgmental. (who am I kidding? Mom's are the most judgmental people out there.
I am not too sure why this is, because we are all just trying to do our best with what we know at the time.
The thing is to be AP Lite means to believe that we console and give our children our full support, but do take time for ourselves as well.
I guess AP Hard Core would be completely subservient to your kids then?
Thoughts?

Crying it Out

Every 6 months or so the concept of Crying It Out (CIO) or aka the Extinction Method, comes rolling around for moms to chew on.
The concept is simple, if you want your baby to sleep, put them in a separate room from you, in a crib, with tight sheets (make sure that there are two sets of sheets on the crib, > will explain later), and lay on their back, and let them fall asleep by themselves.
No talk, no coddling. Or so say the "experts".
The thing that they are teaching these poor little babies is Learned Helplessness. If I cry and mommy does not come, then why cry, no one is there for me anyway.
But, mommy does care. Mommy wants to come and save you from the darkness...there are just "experts" in the way.
There is a REASON why our cortisol levels go up when babies cry. We are supposed to comfort them. Touch is the most important thing.
So why is CIO so damn popular?
We seem to ignore our instincts. Maybe do things a little easier. And hey, my mom left me to cry it out and we turned out alright...(side note, my mom actually slept with me til I was 2)...but are we?
Are we really "all right"?
Maybe we should let these "experts" fend for themselves when they are old and grey.

My Preschool Gut....

So I went an volunteered at Keenan's preschool today, which is if anyone cares, not the preschool that I own and run. Why? Because I did not want my child to be treated any differently than anyother kid because his mom was cutting the cheques.
So I placed him in a comparable program closer to our house. I have been having this weird gut feeling about it ever since I put him in, and my friends say that it is just me...but something is off. So I have been waiting MONTHS to be able to volunteer in his school, and today it finally happened. Can I say I was impressed....no.
But, am I expecting too much? I am not sure.
Keenan basically just played all by himself at the Dino table, then the rocket table, as the other children ran around and visited, and danced, played house etc. There was Keenan. And then we read some books, again kids following ME around but not Keenan.
He was so quite too...he is so extroverted at home, he knows the answers to everything, constantly interrupting us, and at school when they brought out a stegosaurus...he just sat there. Not a word. A mute.
My Keenan. A mute? What happened? It is surreal to me.
So then there was songs and story. I am happy to say that he participated in both those, as lackluster as they were. They were definitely no Natalie.
So now I am torn.
I put him in preschool to meet other kids, BOYS!!!! And he hasn't. No playdates or anything. But can I blame him? When I go and chat the only mom that actually talks to me is Kathryn, and we knew eachother already. Otherwise it is like highschool all over again.
What is the issue? Mine or his?
I thought that after today I would see that it was just me, but now I am not so sure....

Going Solo at Sobey's

I had a glorious time this morning! I went to breakfast at Cora's with my wonderful "Townie" friends. It was really nice to chat without our kids in tow, but at the same time, we really don't get to see eachother as much so you are trying to cram in a months worth of conversation in one sitting. Not to mention that it is all women trying to talk over eachother. We mostly talked about our kids, and pregnancy, and weaning, and sex. I ask you, why is it that the conversation always leads to sex? It is too funny, all these women with children all under 10 chatting it up in a resturant about thier sex drives. Anyway, it was a lot of fun and I would like to do it more often, the only thing is that it cuts into my weekend time with Chris and the kids...I really wish I had more time.
Speaking of time, I got all of my weekly grocery shopping done in 45mins. 45! It was amazing. Usually we go shopping as a family, and it takes forever. But this morning I went solo and powered through Sobey's, a mom on a mission. It would have taken longer but I have been using this new site, to make menu plans and grocery lists. It cuts the menu planning etc in half! Not to mention that we are saving a tonne of money because we are actually orgainzed. It is the best gift I could have ever gotten! Thanks mom!

Swimming and Superglue.

We went swimming at Cardel Place on Wednesday. It was so much fun! I have never seen such a cool pool before. Fountains, sprayers, a river, it was almost overstimulating for me. The best part? $3.75/per kid to get in. Seriously. :)
Keenan had so much fun, and Ryan had never been to a pool, so needless to say this water hating mama was forced to sit in a cold pool for more than an hour! But, really, an hour of being uncomfortable was well worth it when I saw how much my kids loved it, and how well they napped that afternoon. I think that a Wednesday swim may become a part of our weekly regime.
I saw a girl there that I know from Jr.High, it's funny that we change so much but can still recognize people. Took me a while to figure out where I knew her from because she had a baby as well...so it could have been from a variety of places. She actually figured it out before I did, small world!
And Superglue, I just quickly wanted to share a tidbit from the mouth of my super smart 3 year old. They are learning about Dino's and Volcano's in school and he was worried that the Volcano would cause a fire in our house, I assured him that wasnt the case. He went on to formulate why, and decided to tell me.
K: Mama do you know why a bocano wouldn't fire our house?
M: Tell me why.
K: 'Cause the contruction workers used superglue, and the bocano couldnt break it!

All powerful Super Glue to the rescue!

A MNO to Remember.

* MNO = Mom's Night Out.

So I went out last night. My cousin and I decided that it was high time that we get out of the house and spend some quality time without our kids. We thought maybe dinner and a movie, which then turned to just dinner, then just desserts, and then "I am too lazy to drive downtown for dessert, how about we go to Superstore?"
Yes, you read that right, I said "Superstore!"
Maybe you are asking yourself why two twenty somethings with kids would want to go to Superstore for a Mom's Night Out or maybe you are thinking, "Man these women have no lives! That is pathetic!" But let me tell you, kind reader, there is nothing like being able to saunter through a store with no distractions and just a fellow woman to chat with. And if she is a mom looking for bargains it's even better.
So we spent an hour and a half looking at movies, rugs, books and cooking utensils just chatting about life. It was WONDERFUL.
No whining, no pulling of shirts, no stinky diapers, no husbands looking at watches telling us to hurry up, just me and my cousin - Shopping. :)
We then went to BP's for dinner/dessert and continued an uninterrupted conversation for another hour. Glorious. (and for the record it wasn't all about our kids!)
We even commented how nice silence was.
"Listen you can actually hear the fridge humming."
I need nights like that more often!

Money Money Money....Money!

So with the downturn in the economy it seems like everyone is feeling it. A little anyways. Alberta doesn't really seem like much has changed. Well I guess I shouldn't say that, we have had a drop in registrations but that could be due to the economy, or because it is so fricken cold no one wants to go out. I know that I don't.
I have been thinking about getting a part time job for a while now, to help with the crunch...but it is seemingly impossible to make about $1000/month while being a SAHM. I mean really, all the good paying jobs I would have to put my kids in daycare, and really why the heck would I want to do that?! The whole reason we had our kids young was so that we could be there for them and play with them, because our careers would be more flexible at the beginning rather than the middle or end...was I so wrong???
I have options, none that I am overly keen about. That mother guilt dragging down my soul. Makes me just want to move away from the city out to the country away from all the b.s. But, will all of the stuff just follow? Is it really more 'simple' or will this city girl lose her nerve?
It's interesting because Chris and I feel that we are at a crossroads, we could either go one way or another, but either could be a major mistake.
It's like the game of Life but more cruel. We know that we need to go 5 spaces and we are at a junction. In the game you can count your spaces and look ahead, in real life...not so much.
We both feel that we have gone down a path that was never us. Pushed by outside influences that claim that they were never influences...and now we don't know what to do.

If we had it our way, we would buy an acreage any where that is populated with trees and that Chris could work near, and just live self sustainably. Cozy, cottage like.

May Old Acquaintances Be Forgot...

Hello 2009!
I have to say that I have started this year off in a foul mood. Maybe foul is not the right word, maybe more "realistic". I have realized that I alone control my destiny and that society as a whole kinda sucks...at least this society.
So I have decided to cast off people that piss me off, and stop pandering to people who's opinions of me really don't count. I mean why deal with drama and stress yourself so much over people who you probably will never see again. ;)
So, why the change in heart, really? I guess it boils down to the fact that I am so flippin' tried ALL THE TIME, and no, it really has nothing to do with my children, my dog, my husband or my house. We would all be perfectly happy if we lived in seclusion and were able to do what WE wanted to do...but the problem...we have ethics, and expectations that we must adhere to and by doing so we squander away all of our free time making sure that OTHER people are happy.
So to start, here are some long due resolutions.
1. Put ME first.
2. Put Keenan, Ryan and Chris second. (whoever needs more at the exact moment gets first dibbs).
3. Say No more.
4. Say No way more.
5. Stop Volunteering. I have no time, I work at my own business (and surviving through a recession is hard enough without having 2 small children and a life.), and have too much to worry about picking up the slack when other people are not interested.
6. So that comes to my parenting group. I need to get over that one, and put some serious space between the drama and me. :)
7. Did I mention put ME first?
8. and for good measure, have sex more! ;) (maybe I will get that girl after all).

Happy New Year everyone!

ps. Welcome to my new and improved Blog!

Why Everyone Needs a Midwife: The Birth of Keenan James

If you asked me what a midwife is when I was in university, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you. I honestly had no idea they existed, in this time and place anyway. My husband and I planned our pregnancy right up to the day that I was to graduate from university. We thought that we would be pregnant in my last year, write my exams, and then pop out the baby. How naïve we were.

We conceived right away, on almost the first try. While waiting for the pregnancy test result, we talked about how we maybe should have waited until we were finished university and more financially stable. That was not to be the case, as the little blue lines soon revealed our baby’s May arrival.

The first few weeks of my pregnancy were uneventful. I did have morning sickness, but it wasn’t bad if I ate something before I got out of bed. As the weeks progressed the morning sickness got worse and worse. I soon found it hard to stay on top of my 400 level classes. Then at 12 weeks I started bleeding.

The doctor at the health centre told me that it could be stress related, and that while my cervix was still closed, I may lose the baby. He also said that it was common to miscarry in a woman’s first pregnancy. This was not a comforting thought. He suggested that I take some time for myself and spend a week on bedrest. I did one better. I withdrew from all my first semester classes.

The bleeding stopped after a week, which made me feel a little better. I kept going to my university doctor, but was feeling less and less confident that he was truly listening to my concerns. He kept telling me that my concerns were not warranted at the time that I was having them, and that worrying about them was not making my pregnancy any better.

I spent the early appointments asking about the birth, his ideas on intervention, epidurals, caesarian sections, and so on. He would brush my concerns aside and say, “The most important thing is a healthy baby, no matter what.” He was just not listening. My gut was telling me to go somewhere else…but where?

Then, while shopping at Safeway during my 15^th week, I bumped into a mom wearing her baby. The baby was tiny and she was in a long piece of fabric to hold the baby close to her. I remember thinking that it was the most interesting way to hold a baby, but I was even more interested in cooing at her newborn.

I introduced myself, and told her that I was going to be a mom in May. I asked her for the one piece of advice she would give a pregnant mom. If she could tell me only one thing, what would it be? She replied, “Get a midwife.” I had no idea what she was talking about. I asked her where I would get one. She answered, “Briar Hill.”

The next day I called Briar Hill Midwives. I asked what a midwife did, and how much they cost: $3,500, ouch!! Then I called my mom and begged her to help me pay for it, because while talking with them I had fallen in love with the idea of labour support. Thank goodness mom agreed.

I set up my first appointment with Briar Hill team two, and called my doctor’s office to transfer care. They were very put off that I had chosen a midwife, and made me come down to the office to pick up my file for transfer. The nurse made a comment about how a doctor was the one to deliver babies, not a midwife. I plainly told her that this was my decision and that she was being extremely rude. So began the wonderful prenatal care I experienced with Briar Hill Midwives.

The rest of my pregnancy was uneventful. All my appointments were handled in a professional, supportive manner. All my questions were answered and sometimes, when I asked hard questions, the answer was for me to do the research. At the time I didn’t like it, but in retrospect it was the best thing for a person like me.

On May 10^th I had some bloody show. I called the midwives and they said that labour would start in less than 48 hours. They told me to keep track of my contractions and to call them back when they were 5 minutes apart.

My contractions were very irregular. Seven minutes apart, 10 minutes, five minutes, back to seven. They just felt like bad menstrual cramps to me, and I used a lot of the pain coping skills I learned in “Birthing From Within” class to breathe through them. They really didn’t hurt as much as I thought that they should, and the day went by just as any other day would.

I went to bed, started May 11^th with no real progress. The midwives would call every couple hours just to check in, but we were great. I kept thinking, “This isn’t really labour, it’s supposed to hurt more!” Lunch came, then dinner, and I was still feeling like I was having my period. At one point I had to take a minute to hold on to the stove while making dinner, and decided to have a bath after supper.

I climbed into the bath, and my contractions stopped. Or maybe I just couldn’t feel them anymore. I called Chris in to keep me company, and we started talking about those women on TLC’s “A Baby Story”. “ I don’t know what those women’s problem is”, I said, “because if this is labour, it’s EASY!” The words were not even out of my mouth when “POP” my water broke and “BANG” my baby’s head hit my cervix hard. It was like going from zero to sixty in less than one minute. My contractions started coming less than 5 minutes apart, one after another after another. This wasn’t easy, it was painful!

Chris ran to get the phone and called the midwives’ pager. Maura answered. He told her that I was having contractions and that she should come. She told him this was just the beginning, and that labour could take a lot longer. She told us to call her back in an hour to see how we were progressing. I took the phone and told her that I felt that it was sooner than that and if she would come, just to check, that would be wonderful. So she started on her way. Chris called my mom to get her on the move as well and to meet us at the hospital.

This is the part that gets blurry for me. My contractions kept coming at two minutes apart, and I was just riding them out. We headed to the birthing ball, and Chris massaged my lower back with a Tupperware pastry roller filled with hot water. My mom arrived and Maura was a minute behind her. They started talking about how it looked like I was in transition. They started asking me questions, and I got really irritated and Chris said that I cursed a couple times. I was definitely in transition.

Maura asked me to get on my couch (white suede) to get checked to see if we would be heading to the hospital. I said, “I don’t want to. I feel like I am going to push.” They got me onto the couch and checked…I was already pushing. Somewhere in the transition between the birthing ball and couch Maura told me that I may not make it to the hospital and asked if I was comfortable with a home birth. I really didn’t cae at that point, and Chris scrambled to call his mom to tell her to meet us at home.

While pushing, Theresa, my second midwife, showed up and got all the baby stuff ready. My mother-in-law came to witness Keenan crowning. After 45 minutes of pushing we had our beautiful baby boy, and a very blood stained white suede couch. Luckily, the stains came out with hydrogen peroxide!

I was in shock. It was so fast I didn’t really even realize what had just happened. I was much more concerned with the state of my house and furniture. Everyone was elated and crying, hugging, calling relatives, and I was ushered into the bath with my new baby.

Keenan and I were cleaned up. We nursed for the first time and were put to bed. His whole labour from start to finish was recorded at under 3 hours.

I always think about what would have happened if I had not met that mom in Safeway. I would have kept the university doctor, and we would have never made it to the hospital. I would have had my baby in my car or in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

I was destined to have a very fast labour, and fortunate that the midwives were sent to help me. I was also very lucky that my mom paid for them, because a student can’t afford $3,500.

If only midwives in Alberta received the government funding that they deserve, every woman would be covered!

*originally published in Birthing Magazine Autumn 2008

My Adventures in Potty Training

So, I was ready to bite the bullet and go "pull up" - less. (in reality too lazy to go to the store and buy more), and so Keenan has been in underwear for almost a week. Not a whole week dry mind you, just a whole week without pullups.
And in this week, he has peed in more places than I can count.

The most embarrassing...Benjamin Moore. On a chair no less. I am sitting there with him looking at swatches when he says "I want to go potty." I look at him, pee running down his legs and onto his brand new shoes and soaking in the chair. Not wanting to cause a scene I calmly told chris to take him to the car,and change him (forgetting that was his last pair of pants I had). The sales woman came back to help me, so I placed the pillowcase on the offending chair (acting like I had dropped it), and pressed my knee in....trying to soak up the pee.
I quickly chose a swatch, declining the woman's offer to help carry the pillowcase to the till, I paid and got the heck out of there. (thank god they were closing).

The most disgusting...we went to the natropath and he was holding #2 in, so we used a pullup (in case) and while we were chatting with her, he went into the corner and filled his pants. I had to ask for a key to get into the bathroom, all the while keenan waddling behind me.
I ut him on the change table pulled down his pants, and poop explosion. All down his legs, his pants, his socks! I used my hole carton of wipes. I couldnt put his pants back on, so I washed his legs in the sink, put him down and started to wash my hands....it was then that I noticed that the person before us had clogged the toilet and that it was now starting to overflow on the floor. I yelled, "stop,stop" but keenan didnt know why and continued to walk and slip into the dirty toilet water.
So into the sink again.
After he had his second bath in the sink I wrapped him up in my jacket and took him to the car.
Chris asked "what happened? I thought you were changing his bum?" I just laughed and laughed and laughed as Keenan said "Im naked outside, daddy."

And Chris wonders why I don't like to leave the house when he is not home.

Long time No Write!

Well, you can tell that I have been busy. No posting for quite some time, I guess that is what happens when you start a successful business, your husband gets promoted (what husband?) and you have a new baby just before Christmas.
Ryan was welcomed into the world 20 days early, and let me tell you; I was not ready.
What does that mean anyway? Can one ever truly be "ready" for the most life altering moment of their whole existence?
Sure, people think that they are "ready", they read the books, go to the classes and such but don't realize the full implications of having a child.
You become a slave. In a good way, but also in a "why can't I pee by myself?" Kinda way. (ps. Talking about the mom getting alone time).
These little people rule my world, and although I have many many aspirations they all get put on the back burner, All of them.
So I am always playing catch up, and slowly losing the identity of me.
Who am I.
I am Keenan's mom, I am Ryan's mom, I am Chris' wife....when he is home. (but that is a whole other topic.)
I know that I am a journaler by nature, and perhaps I should take some time for myself to start writing again...but then, who reads this anyway!

Mom I am!

Mom I Am
Written by the posters on the Mom's Online Breastfeeding Board

Little ones can squirm and pout,
make a fuss and scream and shout.
When hunger hits without a doubt,
Sit right down and whip it out.

I would nurse her if she cried,
I could nurse her far and wide,
Here and there or anywhere,
Up or down or on a chair.
I could nurse a teddy bear,
For this fine milk is very rare!!!

Would you nurse him on a train?
Would you nurse him on a plane?
Would you nurse him in a car?
Would you nurse him in a bar?

Yes, on a train, yes on a plane.
Yes, in a car, yes in a bar.
I would nurse him here or there.
I would nurse him anywhere!

I would nurse him in a booth,
On the stairs or near the roof.
Anywhere my boy cries out,
I pop the nummies in his mouth.

I can serve it by the ounce,
I can serve it while I bounce.
In a bottle or in a jar,
I can serve from near or far.

Would you, could you nurse in church?
Would you on a shaky perch?
Would you, could you, in the stands?
Could you nurse him with no hands?

I would, I could nurse in church,
Even on a shaky perch.
In the stands, with no hands,
I'll nurse my baby on demand.

Would you nurse him at the store?
Would you nurse him on the floor?
Would you nurse him on a ship?
Careful not to show your nip!
Would you nurse him while on skis?
Would you nurse her on your knees?
Would you nurse him in a tree?
Mommy milk is SO GOOD, you see.

Would you nurse him by the stream?
You could nurse him while you dream.
Can you nurse and clean the house?
Can you nurse and chase a mouse?
Can you nurse and cook a meal?
Mommy's milk is the real deal!

Would you nurse him while you sleep?
How about while you sweep?
Could you nurse him in a sling?
Would you, could you, while you sing?
How about upon a swing?
Mother's milk is just the thing!

Would you nurse her at the park?
Would you nurse him in the dark?
Would you nurse him with a Boppy?
And when your boobs are feeling floppy?

I would nurse him in the park,
I would nurse her in the dark.
I'd nurse with or without a Boppy.
Floppy boobs will never stop me.

Can you nurse with your seatbelt on?
Can you nurse from dusk till dawn?
Though she may pinch me, bite me, pull,
I will nurse her 'till she's full!

Can you nurse and make some soup?
Can you nurse and feed the group?
It makes her healthy strong and smart,
Mommy's milk is the best start!

Would you nurse him at the game?
Would you nurse her in the rain?
In front of those who dare complain?

I would nurse him at the game.
I would nurse her in the rain.
As for those who protest lactation,
I have a perfect explanation.
Mommy milk is tailor made
It's perfect food, you need no aid..

Some may scoff and some may wriggle,
Avert their eyes or even giggle.
To those who can be cruel and rude,
Remind them breast's the perfect food!

I would never scoff or giggle,
Roll my eyes or even wiggle!
I would not be so crass or crude,
I KNOW that milk's the perfect food!

We make the right amount we need,
The perfect temp for every feed.
There's no compare to milk from breast---
The perfect food, above the rest.

Those nursing smiles are oh so sweet,
Mommy milk is such a treat.
Human milk just can't be beat.

I will nurse, in any case,
On the street or in your face.
I will not let my baby cry,
I'll meet her needs, I'll always try.
It's not about what's good for you,
It's best for babies, through and through.

I will nurse her in my home,
I will nurse her when I roam.
Leave me be lads, leave me be ma'am.
I will nurse her, mom I am.

Here comes another BOY!

We had our ultrasound on wednesday and we are expecting the pitter patter of more little boy feet!
A lot of my friends have asked me how I feel about having another boy, and I can honestly say that I am indifferent. When I found out that Keenan was a boy I was scared. I had no idea what to do with a boy, and more particularly, the penis. I have two brothers and the older one was a really fussy baby. All my memories from my childhood have to do with him and crying.
I was so scared that Keenan would be like that.
Now that I have been the mom of a son for 2 yrs, I am completely prepared to have another one.
I do still want to have that daughter, but I am still young and have loads of childbearing years left to go. (especially when people are waiting until they are in their 40's to have kids).