Can the Cupcake or Tips for Sending Treats to School

My Son's Allergy Bracelet

It's that time again, and so the topic of sweets and schools is in the forefront. With allergies and sensitivities at an all time high, many parents do not realize that sending a treat to school can lead to disappointments and tears for a growing number of children (or worse). Who can blame these parents for wanting to send something special for a class party or a birthday? Food is one of those things that has been the center of a community for countless generations.

Switch Witch

Disappointment is something that children with allergies/sensitivities and/or food preferences are just going to have to learn at an early age. As adults we can understand fully what happens when we eat something that we should not, however, children have a real hard time understanding this especially from the ages of 3-7 when being like your peers is a daily goal. Protecting our children from disappointment is easier when they are not in daycare/preschool/school as we control the environment and/or we can distract and/or we can be prepared in advance.  For example, being the "switch witch" at Halloween you can take all the candies that your kids cannot eat and leave a toy in its place, or you can take your children to venues that have goodies that they *can* eat. It is only when the child is asked to do this self-policing that things can get a bit trickier…

As a parent with a child with food challenges here are some ideas to make the early years a bit more manageable:

Can't get any simpler than that. 

1.) Ask the teacher for a list of all the birthdays in the class. Make sure that when they land that your child has a substitute (frozen treat that they can eat) already at the school or send with the child in his/her lunch.

2.) Ask the teacher for a list of all the food sensitivities/allergies and preferences and then sign up to bring a treat and make sure that it does not have any of the trouble foods in it. Tell the other parents so that they know and are aware of the food challenges in class.

3.) Get shirts, pins, bracelets or labels to go on your children’s school items so that all the parents/teachers that see your child will know that they have food challenges. With more education comes more change.

4.) Get involved in your child’s parent council. Especially if your child has a severe allergy. Peanuts are not the only food that can kill a child, and again education is key.

5.) Consider doing a presentation or have a coffee meeting with the parents to let them know that having a heads up when they want to bring treats is preferable… sometimes parents will just keep kids from home, it  can be simpler that way.

As a parent of a child who does not have any food challenges.

Leave the Cupcakes at home.

1.) Try not to send baked goods. As much fun as it is to have the whole class celebrate with your child, baked goods are one of the most common things that all children can not eat. There will always be one child who must miss out. If it is the child with diabetes, the vegan child or the child with a dairy, egg or gluten allergy; one of them will be disappointed when everyone else gets to share in the celebration and they can not.

2.) If you really want to send baked goods, ask the teacher for a list of all the food challenges that are in the class and try to accommodate. The children may not be able to eat it anyway, with all of your efforts as cross-contamination is really easy to happen when baking, and most parents will not let their child take that risk.

Little Tree Crayons

3.) Send stickers, pencils or homemade crayons as a way to celebrate. This way the celebration can last longer than eating a cupcake in 5 seconds flat!! (and I bet the kids will treasure it more!)

4.) Make your child an extra special birthday lunch with their favourite foods. You could also make a themed lunch. Just typing into google-bento lunch and your child's favourite thing can give you a whole host of ideas to try. It will also make your child feel really special – and isn’t that the point entirely?

5.) Save the cupcake for home or the birthday party. A lot of it comes down to the parents of the other children not knowing that a treat is coming so that they can prepare accordingly. If you save the treats for the party the other parents can warn their child or have a substitute.

6.) Send fruit or vegetables. Childhood obesity is on the rise and many children do not get the proper servings of fruits and veggies needed for optimal growth, a celebration day is a great way to get them into children.

We don’t have to take food completely out of celebrations to make everyone happy, but we can choose other things to make it a more inclusionary practice. There are many different ways that we can dress up good allergen free foods to make them fun too. It just takes a little more creativity and some time…time you have when you are not icing 24 cupcakes. 

It's even Vegetarian!

How to Pack for a Roadtrip - Part One

About a year and a half ago we traveled to Arizona. The kids were 5, 3 and 1 and it was 4 long days in the car. Long, long days. We had said that if we made it through alive that we would consider going out East to the family cottage. That time is now upon us as I am busy packing for 5 full days in the car all the way to Ontario.

We will be driving for a minimum of 6 hours each day to a maximum of 10…which is a bit ridiculous. We will be driving our Honda Oddessy completely packed to the roof with all we will need for a month. Remembering that this is Canada and the weather can go from stifling hot 34c to a mere 5c in the summer. (depending where you are).

She is so cute!

Did I mention that we will also be bringing our 3 year old German Shepard Rotti (mutt)? She will be seat-belted in next to Special K so that means that I won't be able to utilize the stow and go. Everything has to be packed correctly.

I learned a couple tips and tricks from travelling to Arizona and I thought, why not share them with the world? I mean, it made my life easier… so maybe it will do the same for you.

Let's start with the suitcase.

1. Use a separate suitcase for the adults and either give each child a suitcase (like a …..) or just put them all in one. 

I chose to put all the boys together in one suitcase because they are still small people. I also wanted to make sure that we still had the space for snacks and activities as a few of the days will be really long and boring. Once the kids are older I will probably give the oldest his own suitcase and then the littler guys will share one.

2. Buy Ziploc Freezer Bags. 

A diaper, t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

This is the best idea ever. What I do is pack a full outfit in each freezer bag and then label it. So if we have the baby for example; he has a diaper (using disposables on the trip for ease and limited space), shorts, and a t shirt. Then I mark it with his name and write "shorts" on it. If it is a bag with long pants, it will also have a diaper, a long sleeved shirt and socks. It will again have his name on it and the words "pants". Pretty self explanatory.

Name and what is inside.

3 swimsuits in one bag.

It doesn't stop there. I also packed 2 pairs of pajamas for each boy, a warm pair and a cold pair, and put them in a ziploc. Each hotel that we are stopping at has a pool (a must have) so I took three ziploc and put 3 swimsuits in each of them. So when we stop at the hotel we can just grab the pajama bag, one swimsuit bag and one of the clothing bags and leave the suitcases in the van. (Don't forget to bring a backpack or smaller bag for this.)

All 3 rain-pants are in a ziploc, as well as all 3 pairs of water shoes and runners are in separate ones.

3. Think before you pack. 

Left the hoodies out so you can see.

I placed the pajamas in the front so that we can grab them right away and they stay separate from everything else. The swimsuits, swim diapers, and water wings are in the lid (is that what they call that part?).  The two bags each that the boys have containing the long pants etc, are in a separate mesh pocket (probably meant for socks and undies). I changed this from last time as we were always searching through the suitcase trying to find the bag with long pants - so now they will be much easier to find. The last mesh pocket has the bag with the rain pants and rain jackets in it.

Rubber boots at the very bottom. The shoe bags go next. All the rest of the bags are just placed in the suitcase on top. I divided it into 3 so all of Special K's are on the left, R's are in the middle and the Baby's are on the right. (they will inevitably get mixed up by day 3, but that is why separate suitcases would be great too.)

Last but not least I put their hoodies on the very top so that we have access to them right away if the weather is cooler. I also have a bag with the outfit that they will be wearing on Day 1 when we leave. I did this so that it was something that would match the other outfits and so that they wouldn't wear it the day before or something!

4. What goes in must come out! 

I already mentioned bringing a different smaller bag just to take the pajamas, swimsuits and tomorrows clothes in, but you also need somewhere to put all that dirty laundry. Yes, the clothes can go back into their bags, but you don't want to put them into the suitcase or the dirty and clean will get mixed up and that isn't helpful at all! Bring an extra bag (I am using my cloth diaper wet bag), something small and that doesn't take up much room. It can still be in the suitcase (and I would place it to one side) but it is more of a divider than anything.

Well, that it is it! Stayed tuned for two more posts on how and what to pack for entertainment, and how to pack the van for optimum space and comfort for everyone. :)

Happy Travelling! Do you have any tips to share?

Screw the Books

As some of you may know I have been in this parenting journey for 5 years. Funny enough 5 years seems like a lifetime. Working with parents I am exposed to a lot of mommy judgement, not directed at me in particular but listening to moms conversations when I am setting up or taking down a class, trade fair, event etc.

And every single year new moms put their feet so far up their butts it is not even funny. They talk and gossip about how so-and -so and her kid is so this or so that. How the kid will be messed up, and how they will NEVER do that....

I know, I know! I did it too!! This is the sad part. We are so disconnected with our community that we don't even know it!! Imagine if you became friends with moms before you were pregnant...if we had an opportunity to learn rather than judge?

When I had my first son I had to run into a local baby store to grab a soother clip or something and left him in the car with my husband...he was 3 0r 4 months old. In the store there were these two moms having a conversation, one was holding her baby and the other had her (7 to 9 month old) baby sitting/crawling on the floor.

I can't tell you how disgusted I was. I mean that baby was on the dirty store floor!!! Gross.....laughable isnt it?!

My children would NEVER go on a gross floor like that....oh yes they would! And later when I had my third he would eat cheerios of said gross floor if it meant I could make a purchase with both hands!

The Feminist Breeder wrote a post recently about this phenomena. It's so true, each generation of mothers sits upon her high horse if only for a moment to be kicked off by her kid...maybe not kid #1, or #2 but at some point she will.

Reading every parenting book and following every class and doing everything that the "experts" say will NOT make your kids any less fucked up than they are going to be. It will just make you feel more depressed that you are doing it all *wrong*.

YOU ARE NOT DOING IT WRONG.

Reality Check

Did that make you cry? I know I did. With the last couple of weeks being

tougher, with a lack of a husband for the most part (our choice - work),

I have been counting down the hours until the kids go to bed. What this

video reminded me was that I CHOSE to stay at home with my kids to

WATCH them grow up. I only get them for so long before society takes

them away from me.

I sometimes need to be reminded of that fact when I am about to go crazy

over the constant demands of more this and that. It's not a picnic with two

preschool aged boys at home and another baby any day now, but this was

my choice, and I need to own it.

I decided to post this video on my blog so that I would always have it as a

reminder of how precious time is and to absolutely try to live life in the

fullest. Of course we get bogged down by adult responsibility, but

sometimes that phone call or email or facebook status doesn't need to be

answered right away, and so what if you don't answer it at all...they will

call back, email you back, and there is always another day for status

updates.

I want my boys to look back and really enjoy their childhood. They can

say to their spouse, "I had a pretty good childhood, I felt loved and

appreciated." Rather than, "my mom was counting down the hours until

we went to bed."

We just have to remember to take each day as that, a new day, and hug

our love ones close.

Tips for having a Newborn and a 3 year old....

I think there is absolutely an adjustment period between one and two,
and some people just cope better than others...it's all about how you
handle stress.
I found that the newborn stage for Ryan was a breeze. I just put him
in the wrap all the time. He just slept in the wrap from day one, so
really it was just like I was still pregnant.
At 6 months however, was when it got really tough for me. Ryan and
Keenan demanded an equal amount of my time and there is only so much
of you that can go around...not to mention that once both kids were
occupied/sleeping Chris would want some one on one. It got really
draining, really fast. So I started taking time for myself. I do yoga
while the kids play beside me, I put Keenan in preschool so I have 4
hours a week with just Ryan. Quiet time when Ryan naps is a must.
(still working in this one). I joined a Babysitting Coop and can use
that when I really need to get out.
I have also pared back my extracurricular/work. I do not work all day
everyday as I was before, I do not work on Tuesdays and Thursdays when
Keenan is home, and we try to get out of the house as a family on
Fridays. Chris and I have also agreed to one night a week where we do
something separate, if that means a movie or a meeting for me, and
jamming for him, that is how it works...we try not to take more than
one day away alone, or we start to resent eachother.
TV is my savior for when Ryan is being put down. Keenan can watch the
Wiggles and I can nurse Ryan down with no interruptions.
You have to do what you can to make YOUR life easier for YOU.
Lastly, I have a couple books on activities to do with kids and try to
pick one a day to do with Keenan. For example, we had a "Backwards
Day" so we started with a bath and then got dressed (clothes on
backwards) and had leftover dinner for breakfast, a BIG lunch, and
pancakes for dinner...kids love it when you get involved so play with
them. :)
If you feel like you can't cope take deep breaths and walk away...and
call a friend who understands...many women on my parenting board have had me
call them when I am in crisis...and it means SO much!!!
Good Luck!
Alisha
mama to keenan and ryan