Don't Fear the White Coat.

We all have those moments when you feel like you should win mommy of the year. Well at least I do, but it seems to happen more in my house than in other peoples houses.
Anyway, last week I would have definitely been in the running.

Offending Product. :P

I was outside lawnmowering (is that a word) as I wanted to help out my husband and our lawn looked like crap - and here in suburbia that is just not okay.
So there I am working this 100 year old gas powered lawnmower.
My eldest son (7) comes outside with freezies. He screams, "CAN I HAVE ONE?"
"NO" I yell back. (not wanting to turn off the mower for fear that it won't start up again).
"WHAT?!" he yells.
"AFTER I AM DONE!!!" I yell back.
He disappears into the house and comes back out with an open freezie.
I think to myself, "little (you know what). Oh well, at least he probably opened them for his brothers too, and this will keep them all quiet." I continue to push the mower through my 10 inch grass.

Next thing I know I see my littlest one (2) come out side and he has what looks to be berry juice on his hand…but he is crying and holding it up…so I am confused and think, "what the heck is that?!" turn off the mower and sprint to the baby. I look at his hand and try to contain the vomit in my mouth - his finger is cut so deep that you can see the fat and muscle inside. INSIDE his finger.
I grab him and run to the bathroom to wash it off and put pressure on it - but I know in my gut that this is going to need medical attention.

I scream to locate my other two children who have miraculously disappeared for the moment. No answer. I scream again. The eldest shows up and I start yelling about the baby - he starts to wail, "It was my fault. I should have been watching him…" As I try to convince the oldest that no, it is in fact mommy's fault and try to figure out what happened while still screaming for the middle child - I start to think how am I going to get all these kids to emerg and WHAT are we going to do for 8 hrs.
The middle child shows up. (4yrs). "What happened to E?" I ask. "I stabbed him." R repiles…and looks at me with this grin that only a sociopath can make. "WHAT?!?" I yell. I then start to yell obscenities to anyone within earshot - possibly scarring my children for years to come and send them to their rooms so that I do not do any more emotional damage.

I text my husband - "You need to come home NOW. We have to go to the hospital."
So I take the baby and sit on the front step ready to go to the hospital.
My husband arrives 5 mins later.
"What happened?" He asks.
"R said he stabbed him." I wail, "Look at his finger!!"
My husband (the firemedic) looks casually at his finger and goes, "ah ya, those will need stitches. I will get the kids ready." and calmly walks in the door.
He appears 5 mins later with both boys ready to go and says to me, "They found the knife on the floor, a pairing knife, (used to cut open freezies) and R held the plastic end and E grabbed the cutting edge and E lost that fight."
Enter the mommy guilt. Of course I was already feeling it - but if I had just cut open the damn freezies…. and then my husband goes, "What were you doing?"
I reply, "Lawnmowering."
He replies, "The grass is wet… you don't use the lawnmower when the grass is wet… that is why is isn't done."
So not only did my "helpfulness" lead to a mortal wound of my child's finger - it was also unnecessary.

Nice.

Poor Guy

We went to the ER and he had 3 stitches put in. My competence as a parent was only questioned momentarily until they realized that I had 3 small boys and then they pitied me.
The actual stitching was the most traumatic part as they had to swaddle him and hold him down. They do a topical but babies don't realize that they can't feel it and so he screamed and screamed. (that was enough for me to lock my knives away forever.

I wanted the boys to watch, to see what happens when you don't listen to your mom…but the doctor refused and said that it was way too traumatic. In hindsight I am glad that she refused me - because it probably would have been, I just didn't want my boys to think that any of this was "cool" in any way.

However, E is pretty proud of his scar.

A Penny in Hand...and Mouth

I almost lost my baby to a penny. One cent. A worthless, useless, peice of copper (and lead) that my older child(ren) had left on the floor. You know the saying, "Find a penny, pick it up and all day you will have good luck."

No. Not at all.

I saw the baby had something in his mouth. (as he always does), and was aruging with my older two to stay in bed, as they had gotten out for the millionth time. (which they also do when daddy is not home).

I slammed the door, told them to stay in bed, and put the baby on the floor to change his bum.

As I was changing him, I remembered about the item in his mouth which I thought was LEGO; since we have a TON of that laying around the house.

He looked at me and giggled as I lifted him up to remove the object, at that moment he laughed and choked. I panicked.

I could hear that it has gotten stuck, so I put him across my knees and did the back blows that I was taught by my husband when a child is choking. No use. He just kept coughing and crying. I thought at least it wasnt in his airway.

I called my husband and asked what to do, and then got a lecture from a very irate firefighter/paramedic that told me that he could not assess our son as he was over the phone. So I hung up and called our 24 hour health service.

At this time the baby had stopped crying, but my mommy gut was still going off. As I explained all the symptoms to the nurse, drooling, not nursing, not eating etc... she asked me to give him a sip of water, which I did and caused him to go into fits of coughing again.

She told me to drive to the closest hospital immideately. (I should have called the ambulance at this point).

I called my mom to come over and watch the other two children and got dressed, me and the baby (as we had been in pjs), and while I was putting him into his car seat my mom pulled in.

I got in the car and sped the whole way (yes, not safe) to the hospital.

As I was driving I could hear him struglling, and gurgling, so I started to panic. It took me 15 minutes to get there from my house... (it usually takes more like 25).

I pulled into short term parking, looked at the pay meter, decided to check on the baby first...I opened the van door and he was covered in drool and vomit. It was like he was foaming at the mouth. (a sign of airway obstruction).

He did not look good.

I decided to skip the payment for parking and RAN him into the ER. Right up to the front. Waited 2 minutes while they were doing paperwork, and then was called to the window.

As soon as I got there I started bawling.

I explained what had happened and they took him into the back. As soon as we got a bed the tirage nurse called a code and 2 doctors and 3 nurses came running in.

I lost it. I felt like the worst mother of the year. So mad at myself for not being more vigalent about toys on the floor.

They gave him an Xray and stabilzed him. (apparently if he was on his back or on an incline - like a car seat, it exacerbated the problem).

I was shocked when I saw it was a coin.

Wedged in the collarbone area, side ways. So he could breathe when upright but not able to drink, or eat.

I was told to grab my car seat out of the van and then we were transported to the Children's hospital in the area by Ambulance, lights and sirens.

Once we got there we got a room in the ER and waited until 4 am for a bed to open up. He was not allowed to eat or drink so I kept him in the sling (Thank Goodness I Brought the Sling!!) which made him think it was nap time.

We were told that we had a bed and so we went up and I was shown a bed....for him.

Which makes sense. But we are cosleepers, and there was NO way that he would ever sleep in a crib for the first time in a hospital!

So we slept in a chair.

The things we do for our kids. I slept sideways with my feet over the edge. They were so numb when I woke up an hour later that I thought about calling a nurse!

We waited for 12 hours in all for day surgery.

They took him from me and put him out and then used an endoscope and a pair of itty bitty forcepts to take the offending penny out. The whole procedure was less than an hour.

But the LONGEST hour of my life so far.

After he woke up he nursed and we had to wait an hour to get discharged.

We (my mom who had come to be with me for the surgery) drove back to the first hospital where my van was (no ticket!!) and then I jumped out and drove it home.

I am keeping the penny forever. I am going to make it into a peice of jewlery.

A friend of mine stayed with my older boys to help out, and we had many people ask how we were doing.

He was fine, no worse for wear. Happy as a clam at the hospital, with me, snuggled in my sling. I on the other hand was an emotional wreck and now hyper sensitive to anything on my floor.

I guess that is what happens when a penny almost takes your child away from you....it also readjusts your priorities, and the way that you look at things in life.

How something so small, so useless, so worthless could have *killed* my son. Taken him away from me forever.

ps. a penny is as corosive as a battery when in the human body. THROW your pennys AWAY!!

pps. ALL of the health care personelle were amazing. All of them. So understanding, supportive and caring. For such a horrible incident for me and my family they made it feel better. I will be forever grateful to the men and women who worked in both ER's, surgery and Patient Transfer forever.

Sick Boy

What I have been told is that Keenan has Rotovirus. Which is super
common and super contagious for kids under 5. Stats say that 90% of
kids will get it by age 5.
There are only 2 places that I can think of where he could have caught
this as it is only transfered by feces.
1. Shopping Cart
2. Change Table in Restaurant.
I will be carrying antiseptic wipes to wipe down change tables and
shopping carts from now on. I would urge you all to do the same, and
to be extra vigilant about washing your hands as well as your babes.

This experience has also made me reaffirm the way I (personally)
parent. I saw countless numbers of sick kids at the children's. Keenan
was one of the older children, and none of them were nursed. Even the
new ones. All I saw was bottles (and these children were not bottle
fed with love, more like shove a bottle in your mouth so you stop
crying). Pacifiers on every child, dragging on the hospital floor and
put back in the mouth. Stroller after stroller and screaming babies.
It was overwhelming.
And the comments on my wrap and my nursing. I cant tell you how
invaluable those two things have been. The doctors said that he would
be in such worse shape if he had not been nursed.
And the wrap. If you don't have one I would STRONGLY suggest you get
one. The mamas at the hospital that were holding their sick babes,
because all they could do to calm them was to stand and rock. A sling
or a wrap would have helped them so so much.
Keenan would only sleep on me, while he had been sick. I LOVE my wrap.

I think the worst is over. We are using homeopathics and they seem to
be working as there is nothing the medical world can do for rotovirus.

We will be quarantined until after the weekend.
Take care of yourselves, your children, and each other.