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Sunday, April 11, 2010

Trying to let go.

I had hoped that I would have a new baby now, but it seems my girlfriend S is going to be right. (She always goes over her dates, and so thought that I was crazy to think I would go any earlier.) I just had the 10th in my mind for the last 9 months, so I am a little disappointed that he didn't come yesterday...and what is worse, it just seems like everything has slowed right down. I mean, yes, I still am having contractions all the time, but nothing regular. It makes me really tired. I have been sleeping a tonne. 2 hr naps and going to bed at 9pm.
I keep thinking of R's birth and thinking how I had to let go in order for him to come. I am trying to think of all the things that I need to get ready or to let go so that this little one can come. I keep coming up with dead-ends. I really feel like I am ready.
Well, as ready as one can be to go into labour. It's not like I *want* to go into labour...who really does? It's hard work, and as quick as it can be done, it's still like a massive workout. I sometimes think that my other two are holding me back as well. Like they need to be taken care of before I go into labour, but they have been sleeping pretty well for the last couple days so I am not sure what is up with that either.
All this wouldnt matter if I didnt have until tomorrow to figure it out. If I wasnt on a deadline this baby would have shot out 3 days ago...but no, it will just wait until the husband is on the plane.


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