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Friday, November 20, 2009

A Question of Parenting Style.

My last post I concentrated on "attachment parenting" and the disservice that "experts" can do to new mothers by making them think that some how this will lead to angel children. Today I am going to talk about the 3 types of parenting that are in Barbara Coloroso's book "Kids are Worth It."
The first thing that I should point is that there has to actually be a classification of 3 types of parents. we all basically fit into one of 3 molds...I dont think so. There are as many types of parents as there are kids so to try and place us all into a category again undermines our very abiltiy to parent and makes us question those instincts that we have towards our offspring.
Anyway, I digress. Let's start.
This parent is a bear. Doesn't really listen to their child, uses corporal punishment, is punitive etc. Not someone you want to aspire to be. :)
The listener, The *I* statements, the reasoning...basically the run of the mill parent. The one that we *should* all be.
The jelly-fish. Lets their kid get away with anything, and honestly, at least for me..the hardest parents to deal with. No discipline at all.
Now where is "AP" on this know what? It could be all three. Shocking!!!
But really, sometimes we have to put our foot down, esp. when safety is a concern and at other times we can be totally permissive when we want to keep our cool and know that this battle wont matter in the long run.
Whatever the case, it just doesnt matter what the label says you are. You are you, and you know your child and you want to do the best you can do as a parent. No "expert" telling you what you "should" do is going to help you, if anything it will just make you feel more judged or more guilty for something that you may have done in the past.
Parenting is hard. Its the hardest job that anyone will ever have, bottom line. If you teach your kids respect, respect for them, you, and life what else really matters?


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