Clarity.

For a long while I have been a part of an Attachment Parenting group. I have posted about it often. Maybe too often...

As I get older, or more experienced in my parenting I have come to realize that it isnt an US vs. THEM type of universe when parenting.

I admit it, I could not stand to hear about parents sleep training their kids and yes, I judged them harshly...too harshly. I somehow had to make myself *better* than these parents...and I mean, wasn't AP'ing so much harder? Didnt that make you the more committed parent? Parenting through the night as well as the day....

Anyway, I have really come to realize in the last little while that these other parents have much more to offer me than I had once thought. For one, they dont make me feel guilty for not spending every waking moment with my child, for feeding him a hot dog, or for losing my cool once in a while. Of course I am not saying that every AP mom makes me feel that way too...I am just saying that certain "baby experts" lead you to believe that if you breastfeed until they self wean, co-sleep until they decide to leave the family bed, and feed them all organic that you will have the perfect little children. And if not, you failed.

I am here to call Bullshit. First off there is this little thing called Nurture vs. Nature. No amount of AP'ing is going to make a HUGE difference on your child, especially if you are responsive to your child, but understand that BALANCE is key. You can be respectful to your child and foster a healthy relationship without following all those "baby b's " or referring to your self as an "attachment parent".

While I am at it, the whole concept of the "attachment parent" leads us to failure...who is someone who isnt? an "detachment parent"? What does that say? What kind of message is that?

We need to be respected for all of our parenting choices and to be able to say, "hey I do that different, and its okay". I really think that we would have more of a village if that sort of thing happened more often, and we didnt play into these "experts" ideas of how it is to parent.

I will be the first to say that I make mistakes and I dont have a clue what I am doing most days, and most of the time I am just learning as I go. But, every single day I learn something new and I am open to change and all I want is for my kids to say when they are 20 years old, that they do not have a question in their mind that they were loved by their parents and that they were treated with respect and therefore they will treat others with respect. Label or no label.