Disapointment

Today was the start of a weekly mom's only coffee date, for the moms in my area. I was so excited about it because I really wanted to go and meet up with my friend P who just went back to work. I haven't seen her in almost 2 weeks.
I thought that Chris was coming home on Friday night so that I would have a sitter no problem on Saturday morning. I was mistaken. He didn't get home til tonight.
I called my mom to see if she could sit, and she said no because she is not feeling well. So, needless to say, I missed the coffee date.
It really sucks too because Chris has been working so much and I really felt like I needed a break from parenting Keenan 24/7 for weeks on end.
That is the worst part of being an EMS wife. The shifts. Even when he is home we are so disconnected because we never see eachother, and because we are both working so much, we have nothing exciting to talk about. And then, if I have plans with friends and they happen to fall on a day when he is home, I cancel so that I can spend time with him...and then we just end up wasting the day. So when I really need a break from the home life, I cancel and then he goes to work, and I am stuck with Keenan alone for another X amt of days. It's so sporadic as well, somedays he is gone for a day, then 2 or 3, at the most 4 and then it starts over again.
And like I said we are not as close as we once were, he thinks alot of it comes from the fact that I am addicted to the computer, but that is not the case. I DO go on the computer after I put Keenan to bed as I had no time during the day to go on, and then I use the computer as an escape, to talk to friends or get caught up on workstuff. It's my release for the day. De-Stresses me.
And boy, sometimes do i need that!