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Saturday, June 27, 2009

True Friends.

I have been struggling with this post. I have been enraged, outraged, and overtly pissed off for the last couple days and have been trying to formulate what type of blog post I wanted to write. While still wanting to keep people anonymous, and keeping a level head.
I am not the type of person who goes off the handle on a regular basis, even though I am still quite young, and have had older people tell me that I am en-passioned. However, there are a couple things that make my blood boil, and cause me to rise in action.
Truth, Justice, Compassion, the Greater Good, Honesty.
If you live your life according to these values we will get along, no problem. I know that sometimes moms can have off days, and hey I have them too, so I always try to see all sides of a story and figure out all angles, and also give the person the benefit of the doubt....even to my detriment as my mom would point out.
So where am I going with this.....
Let's just say that I have a group of friends, ones that I know well, and others that I dont know as well...and there is a certain person within this group that has decided upon herself not to like me at all. Now, in a professional capacity, I can work with this woman. In a personal one, not so much....but then do we have to like every single person we meet, and for that matter, just because we share the fact that we parent the same way, are both women, and both had children come out of our bodies, does not best friends make....I digress...
So anyway, we dont see eye-to-eye, bottom line. And I dont really think the whole world or a group of friends for that matter should be brought in to it. Dragged through the drama....(which, coincedentally seems to follow me like a black cloud recently.)
Bottom line is that she is making these friends choose between me and her. Like we are in high school or something! And I am getting pressure to yield and make amends...for what exactly?
It's not that my friends are being dragged through this, when I never wanted them to in the first place, its not that I actually care that she dislikes me so much that she can not stand to be on the same world wide web as me, let alone at a social function...however, she can talk to me at a professional level....what pisses me off the most is that she has called my friendships in to question.
Not following..... lets go back to here. This is the single most defining moment for me as a woman. To realize that even though we age, we grow babies, we raise children in a caring matter, that some women never grow up and high school lasts forever....so why is this particular post have any relevance to this one?
Back then, I stood up for my friend. I put my whole heart, soul, reputaion on the line for her because I felt that she was being treated unjustly.
I told others, and strained friendships that I had made, because I stood up for her.
Now the same thing is happening to me. And I am honestly afraid that these women, these moms that I trust to be honest with me, and truthful, will bend to the will of one, and I will be shunned, and that will show me that no - one really has my back, and that I am some sort of anomoly that will continually put herself on the line for other people with no reciprocation at all.
It's not like I would actually ask these women to do this for me, as I think even in asking brings me down to the level of a high schooler. Also, there is enough drama happening that, really, what would be the point? And it would just fracture more relationships for no reason.....
But, it makes me sad, and melancolic, to think....who, who really, has my back?

1 comments:

Jennifer said...

*Hugs* to you the whole situation is frustrating to for me to see playing out. It really resembles a school yard struggle. When it really does not need to at all.

In my mind there is no reason you both couldn’t peacefully coexist. The person in questions actions over the past year have led me to question her professionally. When before I would have recommended her without hesitation now I am left wondering who else I can recommend when I am asked for references.

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