It's the little things.

I have been thinking a lot lately about others and the way that they choose to parent their children. When I was a new mom I was extremely passionate about how to parent, I saw a right way and a wrong way. I can admit it, I was pretty judgmental. I can say that now, and apologize to those who I probably insulted along the way. I can still get judgmental, when I see something that crosses the line towards neglect or harming a child, but for the most part I could really care less what others do with their kids.

So why the long disclaimer? I am going to post about how I put my kids to bed and why I do it.

Some would argue that one needs "mommy time" and that time starts once the kids are in bed preferably by 7pm. I don't work like that. I am on call 24/7. All the time. Am I tired? Hell yes. Do I get grumpy sometimes? Yes. Do I complain about it to my friends...yes, I am human after all. But for the most part, I cherish these moments that make me the most crazy.

I read my kids 6 stories. 2 for the little one and 4 for the big one. I answer all of the questions that are asked. I go to the potty again and again just to make sure that they are really ready for sleep. I get the teddy, and the baby and tuck them in as well. I then lay down and snuggle them. Each kid gets as much time as he needs.

Does this cut into the "mom time"? Yes. "Is it irritating some days when I have other things on my mind?" Yes. "Would I change it?" NO.

I love to snuggle them. I feel like I get to connect in these moments. My little one drifts off to sleep with no tears, patting my face and kissing me. I soak every moment up. How many times will he do this? Not many. Boys start to pull away by 7years.

The older one and I talk about his day, what bugged him, what made him happy, sad...what he wants to do the next day, etc. He loves to kiss my belly and say goodnight to the baby. I look at him and realize how big he is already, and how fast they grow.

I had my kids because I wanted to share my life, and experience life through the eyes of a child. I wanted to experience unconditional love.

Every moment I spend putting my kids down, I try to burn it into my brain for when they are older.

Life is so precious and so fleeting, I try to live my life with no regrets, and having my kids go to sleep, with no tears and snuggling their mom just makes ME feel better.

So back to the disclaimer. That is why I co-sleep sometimes, why I nurse until 2, and why I don't let my kids Cry It Out....because it feed *my* soul too.