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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Crying It Out....Again (RANT)

My cousin recently posted on her FB status that she was having a hard time putting her littlest one to sleep. He is just under a year old. Somehow, this opened her up for complete unsolicited advice from all of her "friends".
What skeeves me the most is that people get so passionate about this subject so you can't just say, "I didn't CIO, and my kids sleep great", you get to be attacked for your choice...passive agressively.
Don't Coddle, it's proven children have to "self-soothe"....ummm, really? Prove it. Because I can actually prove the opposite, here, here and here. Oh, and here.
Not to mention that I was a psych major in University and so "attachment theory" was a whole semseter class.
Oh, but "coddling" them will make them more dependent.
No. It doesn't. And I have a 3 year old who can tell you that for sure.
Dependence LEADS to Independence.
Once a child is sure of thier environment and *trusts* the people around them, they will venture out. If they don't.. (or think that you are going to abandon them) then they are much more "clingy."
And can we seriously stop with this "independent" "dependent" "clingy" "coddled" language?
Why DON'T you want your child dependent on you? Would you rather they be "dependent" on a friend? a peer? a stranger? How about a molester?
If you don't nurture your children, some one else will take the opportunity to.
So be HAPPY that they *want* to be with you, to share with you, to be comforted by you, to NEED you.
Just drives me insane.
If you want your child to "self-soothe" and be "independent" at 1 year old, then maybe you should have not "coddled" them as a newborn. Newborns don't need to be "coddled" do they? Maybe you should start the way you want to finish....or maybe you should get a dog.


MP said...

Much of what you say intuitively rings true to my mothers' heart too.
I tend to stay real quiet when conversations of CIO are broached because turn into bashing of one side to the other and no one wins.
Great blog post!

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