Boy! You look like you've got your hands full!

No Kidding.

I am not sure why people continue to say this to mothers of more than one child. Is it perhaps because we look like we do not have it together in any way shape or form? I wonder this because I hear this from strangers seconds before my head explodes and rolls down the pavement....

I guess I shouldn't complain. At least they are not commenting on my age, or the fact that I (and not my husband) am a rampant breeder.

I was thinking about this the other day, the having my hands full part....I have begun to ask myself WHY.

WHY do I have my hands full? Why is it so stressful to leave my house? Why do I get caught in incredible situations like the Shoppers incident?

Perhaps it's because I don't listen to myself.

I am so stressed out with all these other little things that really don't mean anything in the long run that I ignore my gut and take tired, hungry, grouchy kids out...without the diaper bag.

So really I am doing it to myself.

Of course a tonne of this comes from the fact that I live at home with my parents. 9 more days, 9 more days, 9 more days.

I am not complaining by the way, my mom kicks ass, and i have been pampered with the meals and cleaning...but there is something about not having your own space for 2 months that makes you go a little mental.

I think what I was trying to say before I got on this tangent, is that I really need to be more organized and take things slower. I have my hands full, yes. But that doesnt mean I have to be out of control.

Balancing Act

I am in the process of moving house and have moved in with my parents for the time being...one month...one long long month.

It's not my parents and I that have a difference of opinion, well that is not entirely true...

The main thing that I notice is that my siblings and my parents (to a lesser exent) get super irritated at my children. Mostly when they are acting like, well, children.

Kids are loud. My kids are incredibly loud. There are 3 of them all under 5. The 5 year old is talking non-stop, the 2 year old is making animal sounds, and the baby...well, he cries. :)

I just get this pressure to make them conform and I am just not that type of person. I want my kids to be kids. They are little. They shouldn't have to sit and eat all their dinner or stop running around or being absolutely quiet until 10am.

I feel incredible pressure that I am not doing it right, and I sometimes wonder about when we were in tribal setting how the village that raised the child didn't have these crazy expectations placed on the children.

I bet it was way less stressful.

Now don't get me wrong, I completely appreciate that my parents have opened their house to a family of 5 for 5 weeks...and yes, it is hard on everyone, and yes people have to make sacrifices for family...I get all of that. I just really feel like a huge outsider even when in my family of origin, and I never thought that I would feel that way. Not in a million years.

Yes, I am more laid back than my siblings. Yes, I let things slide. Yes, I am lazy at times. But I like the way that I am raising my kids, and I like that they don't have many expectations....does this mean that I am setting them up for failure?

Who knew moving back home would zap my self confidence?

A Spectacle

If Shoppers could have charged for the hilarity that was my life today at their store they would have made some serious cash.

I knew that I shouldn't have taken my brood out today. I could tell this morning when they were all acting out; yelling and screaming and fighting with each other. Of course I understand why they are hard to handle...we are in the middle of moving, we are living with my mom (the grandparents) for a month, they have no schedule, their dad is working so much, it's the summer...I could go on and on.

But just because I understand where the behaviour is coming from doesn't mean that I have to accept it or enjoy it.

So back to Shoppers. I had to get my mail changed over because we are no longer in the townhouse. Of course I had to take ALL 3 kids with me so it was fun for the whole family.

The cash line was going incredibly slow and I had the bigger two strapped into the stroller. The baby was sleeping peacefully in the wrap.

The two bigger boys started to hit each other enough that another mom stopped and asked them to stop fighting with each other. She tried to explain to my sons that they should be nice to each other and they responded by hitting and yelling louder.

I decided to pick up the middle child and hold his hand and leave the biggest one in the chariot with the brakes on. The middle screamed to be let go and the bigger one rocked the chariot trying to kick over the display. (and cue the baby in the wrap needing to feed.)

I just wanted to get out of there, as fast as I possibly could.

Finally at the point of meltdown I threw my kids into the stroller and attempted to leave...and then the peanut gallery really showed its face.

I squeezed my double chariot through the first set of doors and then tried to push it through the second....and got stuck.

Somehow the doors of Shoppers are big enough to accommodate a double Chariot to get in...but not out.

I felt like I was going to cry. I had 3 children melting and I was stuck in the vestibule of Shoppers with many many people watching...some laughing, some staring, and some shifting uncomfortably.

I ended up taking the kids out, taking the wheels off and SHOVING it out of the doors.

Goodness!!!