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Sunday, July 25, 2010

How Old Are You?!?

It's really none of your business is it? This question keeps coming up again and again, and it is really starting to tick me right off. I have noticed that it is more frequently asked since I have had the 3rd boy child.
Not that it didn't happen before, but it's happening more and more and more.
I took my kids to the doctor and while trying to wrestle my 2 year old into submission while my 5 year old sat on the bed and my 3 month old cried in the sling, the doctor asked, "Can I ask you how old you are?" I was taken aback...was my loss of control at that moment related to *my* age, or more the age of my squirmy two year old? (I would put my money on the 2 year old!)
Or the random woman on the street who demanded to know if in fact all 3 boys were mine, how old they were, and how old I was... Who comes up to someone and demands to know their age? What gave her the idea that it was okay to come up to me and ask me that?
I honestly do not understand why people feel that it is appropriate to come up to me and ask me how old I am...some how insinuating that perhaps I am too young to have one child, let alone 3. My husband says that I should take it as a compliment, but I don't. It really ticks me off.
Just because someone decides to start with the career and not the family as I have chosen does not make them *more* qualified to have children, or more able to pass judgement.
If a 45 year old woman was walking around with 2 or 3 small kids, would random strangers and doctors ask *her* how old she was?
I decided to have my kids young because honestly, I feel like I can handle them better when I am young. I wanted to have more than a few kids and I wanted them close together. I wanted to be done having babies by 30. I wanted to be able to stay home and not worry about the career that I was leaving or hoping was staying on hold for me.
Because my mom had her kids young.
Because my grandma had her kids young.
Because I *wanted* to.
Thats right. Not only am I young (which is B.S because I was 8 years older than my mom when she had me, when I started) I planned them. Each and every one.
So stop asking me, because I am going to start asking it right back. Why? Why does it matter to people?
Age is just a number...and in 20 years from now when my kids are all in college, (or whatever they want to do) I will only be in my late 40's and free from diapers, and kid drama...and then the table will turn, and I wont be judged anymore.


Kelly said...

It's true, it's so rude yet people feel it's ok to ask. That and "How many kids are you going to have?!?!" When people ask me how old I am, I ask them to guess first. Then I tell them age is just a number, haha. Telling them is just facilitating their judgement. Sometimes if someone asks in a genuine or awe-struck way I will tell them, it depends on the situation of course. Yesterday I spent the day with a mom who is in her mid-forties, but it wasn't weird at all, because we have kids the same age. Like it matters how old someone is! The only time I like to tell my age is to help give confidence to another young mom.

xmomx said...

You are hilarious! I have more to add but would rather say it in person.

Unknown said...

I'm 27 and people stare at me and treat me like a teenager with a baby... So reading this makes me feel better...I'm not the only one.

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