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Tuesday, June 08, 2010


When my first was just a little baby I would get so caught up in the *shoulds* of life. He *should* be eating this much, pooping this much, crying that much etc. I would get such anxiety if he wasnt meeting these arbitrary milestones. Who exactly created these milestones? Who was I putting him up against? I constantly went on all sorts of message boards to try and measure him up against someone. I had NO confidence.
Why? It's not like I didn't understand babies. I have 3 younger siblings. Not only that but I babysat and nannied all through my youth. So you would think that I would have known and understood that babies are all made differently and there are NO *shoulds*.
I look back at his little life and think of all the times that I got so frustrated about when he should sleep. I would try to put him down at 7pm, (because I wanted to watch survivor) I thought that he should be asleep so that I could have my "adult time".
It's laughable. I shake my head.
As I type this it's 11pm and my littlest (8 weeks) is lying here sleeping on the couch beside me. I watched the whole season finale of Glee with no problem, nursing and patting him down while enjoying my program.
No *shoulds*. I don't expect anything from him. Ever. I just take him one day at a time.
This comes with experience, confidence and age. I know that times will be tough and then they wont.
I just accept that he is a baby and babies are unpredictable at the best of times and just roll with it.
Now, if only I could use the same techniques with the oldest...........


akathemom said...

Argh, I do the same thing to my oldest, even now. Your think I'd learn eh?

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