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Tuesday, June 05, 2012


I was talking on the phone with my cousin today and she demanded that I blog about what happened today and so without further adieu…..

My son is having trouble at his preschool. He isn't really the "sit down and listen" type… he is more of the "you told me what to do and now I am going to do the exact opposite" type; so needless to say this year of preschool has not gone by without its share of challenges.

He was assessed the other day with some learning challenges as the teachers would like him to have an aide who can basically hold his hand the whole day so that he *must* do what the other children are doing - or so that is my understanding…I am not really sure how I feel about this, so I decided that maybe I would shop around and see what other preschools have to offer.

There is this great community run - reggio - program that is close to my oldest son's school. I decided to give them a shot in the dark and see if maybe they had spaces left and by a stroke of luck they actually did! I made an appointment to take my middle child and go and check this school out for myself.

We arrived just as the other children were leaving, they looked like they enjoyed it. The school is 50 years old so it left somethings to the imagination as it could use some updating (but they are moving in june - so it will only be a short time until then.)

We walk in and introduce ourselves and my son decides that he would like to make the most awesome first impression ever.

I am just going to write it verbatim so that you can feel as it you were standing right there - better yet, pretend that it is your child and let the feelings of pride wash right over you.

Teacher - "Hi there, my name is X. What is your name?"
Son - "my name is X."
Teacher - "Nice to meet you X."
Son - "Are you going to have a baby?"
Now I need to mention that this teacher was slightly overweight, just so you can picture this exchange in your mind.
Teacher - "What? Oh no." Giggles. "I just had a big lunch!"
Me - awkward laugh. Forced grin.
Son - "Is your tummy hurtin'?"
Teacher - "No, I am feeling okay." Giggle.
Son - "Why do you have a big penis?" Pointing to the area under her belt.
Me - awkward laugh…"she doesn't have a penis, silly!"
Teacher - "I don't have a penis."
Son - "OH! I know!! You have a HUMONGOUS VAGINA!!"
Teacher - "I am sorry?" looking at me for clarification as it sounded like "Gi -na"
Me - whispering "He said that you have a big vagina"
Teacher - "oh!"
Son - "Why do you have such a big vagina?"
Me - "X. That is enough."
Son - "Mommy why does she have a big bum-"
Me - cutting him off, "Wow! X look at that kitchen over there!!!!!"
Son - "Mom why does she have-"
Me - Walking quickly towards the first toy I can find, "Wow!! this stuff is so cool!!!"

I don't think that I have ever been so embarrassed in my life. Honestly. Here I am hoping that this preschool will give me a warm and fuzzy feeling, and there goes my son yammering on about this poor woman and her weight. I felt like if the floor would open up and swallow me whole it would be preferable to the awkwardness that I felt after that meeting.

I know that kids speak their minds and this is what preschoolers do - and I am sure that the teacher was not horribly offended (I hope) but sometimes I wish it was socially acceptable to cover your child's mouth or kick them under the table so to speak while they continue to dig that hole in the middle of the room..

photo credit - Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos


Deb said...

I'm glad you wrote it out. As mortifying as it was, it's the kind of story you need to save for his wedding...

Jessica said...

Omg Alisha. I am sorry, but I am laughing so hard! That poor woman, and poor you!

SamiJoe said...

Hmm... the darned things kids say. ;)

Bet your cheeks were a bit rosey!

Jenny Hill said...

That is awesome! We all have had those moments when we do wish it was acceptable to use some duck tape on our children.

Lisa Corcoran said...

Oh I am so glad that it's not just my kids... :)

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