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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Super Mommy No More

I have a super power.
I can run on 4 hours of sleep without a cup of coffee. I can run after my 3 kids with an incredible amount of energy. I can eat whatever I want and not gain a pound. I am a size 0 without even trying.
I can work on many different things at one time. I run a business, a household, volunteer for a non-profit and stay up until 1am baking cookies to be that perfect mom....and it is killing me slowly...literally.
Things that I thought were MY normal are abnormal.
I have an auto immune disease. Disorder. Whatever.
It is like I am running a marathon every day all day long. Tricking people into thinking that I am coping.
I guess that I am not.
Graves causes extreme mood swings, which would explain why I am Dr.Jekyl and Mr.Hyde most of the time.
Graves causes a super high metabolism, thyroid storms, headaches, joint aches, food sensitivities, insomnia, etc. etc. etc.
I am still trying to wrap my head about #1 - losing my super power. Feeling as tired as all of my friends. Cutting back. Taking time for myself.
#2. Treatments. They all suck. All of them.
Pretty much take a person like me who doesn't trust the pharmacutical companies enough to Vaccinate my kids and now I have to be dependent on them for the REST OF MY LIFE.
and ever.
I also have to render my thyroid useless. Kill it or cut it out, and then go the other way, and try and manage all the weight gain, the tiredness, the exhaustion, while taking care of 3 kids under 6. (did I mention that I am homeschooling as well?!)
Maybe I should just get pregnant again and push it off.....
So if you have been wondering why my moods are all over the place, why I am grumpy, mad and all the rest...there it is.
And no, not contagious. Caused by environmental factors. Which could literally be anything from being on Formula as a baby to microwaving hotdogs under a plastic cover. Or maybe ny flavoured water addiction.....


MP said...

Pfhew! That's alot to take in on any given day, for anyone.
Wow, inspite of your health challenges, you still manage to nurture your 3 young boys much of the time as a solo parent.
Thank you for taking a moment to share your life experiences. They encourage us that follow your blog as women & mommies too.

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