Boring Children?!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?
in_article_id=397672&in_page_id=1879&ico=Homepage&icl=TabModule&icc=FEMAIL&ct=5

The above article just pissed me off.
One excerpt :
"Many of my friends — fortysomething, university-educated
professionals who swore that they would be normal parents — make it a
policy now that 'our kids go where we go'. They drag their
three-year-olds to dinner parties where the youngsters end up in front
of a video all night. (I have seen children having tantrums in front
of guests, and rather than send the children to their rooms, the
parents send their guests home.)"

I HATE women who have to have a checklist in thier lives. First
Graduate Highschool, check. College, check. Husband, Check. Career,
Check. House, Check. Children, well I can wait on that. And then when
they get the urge to "check" that off they are well into thier late
30's mid 40's and don't want to sacrifice anything for thier children.
I am NOT saying that if you are an older mom you automatically fall
into this category. I am just saying that most of the nonAP's moms I
have met are like this.

Second excerpt:
"And yet many women have spent years studying and then working so that
we would not have to do a job as menial as full-time motherhood. I
consider spending up to 30 hours a week sitting behind the wheel of a
4x4, dropping children off at play centres or school, to be a
less-than-satisfactory reward for all those years of sweat."

I take SUCH offense to this. All I wanted to do with my life was to
have children and to stay at home with them. I don't think that any
other job is as imporant than that. I find having children for me is a
calling. And yes, I can get bored, but you can get bored doing
anything. But I don't take that boredom out on Keenan. And I sure as
H-E-double hockey stick don't think that saying at home is menial.
Someone should take this poor kids away from her. Selfish you-know-what.

I agree that life needs to be balanced and that you have to do what
works for you and your family. But I also dont think that children are
accessories and to be ignored until the parents feel the need to
engage them. She justifies her actions by saying how independant and
creative her kids are, and that is fine, anything to make her feel
better, BUT when these kids are older and are messed up with thier
personal relationships and psychological well being, they have no one
to thank for that except thier mother. And when they put her in a home
to Rot, she won't beable to say"why dont my kids ever visit or take
care of me?" Because being with you is BORING and menial mom!"

The Lake

We went to the lake today with a friend who happens to live half a block away. It was fun, although I did get sunburned. I really need to buy some better sunscreen and a good hat. I just haven't been able to get around to doing that yet.
There were quite a few moms there and maybe 16 kids? Keenan had a blast although he wasn't so sure of what to do with the water. It kind of frightened him when it came up on the rocks. He liked to play in the sand and got it everywhere. Kind of gives me an idea of what I am in for in the future.
My sunshade is awsome! So glad that I bought it, I didn't really get to use it very much as I was constantly chasing after Keenan. Just wait until he walks!
On another note, my grandpa is home, no complications as of yet. So we will keep our fingers crossed. He should be fine.

Grandpa

My grandfather is in the hospital right now, he just got his kidney removed. A couple weeks ago he went in, in a lot of pain, and they found a lump on his kidney. I haven't really been telling alot of people because I don't really like to think that my grandparents are getting older. But they are. I am really lucky as the are still around and I am in my mid 20's. A couple of months ago (Nov) Chris' grandmother died after having a subderal hematoma (stroke), it just showed us that she was the first but definately not the last.
I am going in to the hospital tomorrow. I hate going, so unfriendly and sterile. But I have to go and show my grandfather that I love him and that I am there to support him and my grandmother. I just don't want to go. At all.
But I will.

Temper Temper

I have to admit it. I lost my cool with Keenan today.
It was one of those days when I am overtired (and my mind is on other
things ie)my grandpa in the hospital) and Keenan is more active than
usual, so today I am redirecting, then redirecting, then redirecting.
He broke a couple of things today, a corningware bowl and ramikin, and
I was calm and didnt make a fuss, just redirected him again. He is
over exploritory and trying to walk so he kept falling down and
hurting himself, I would pick him up soothe him and place him down again.
By 9pm, I was alittle tired of running after him all day, (and I am
not complaining, it is normal for a 14month old to explore) then we
started to nurse down...and the biting started. I think it was because
he was so overstimulated from the day. I took him off said no biting
in a serious calm voice and he laughed, repeated 2 times. Then I said
"ouch! that hurts mommy" repeated 3 times, then I pushed his head into
the breast while he was biting...this only made him bite harder. Then
I lost my cool. I took him of the breast, said "NO biting! No more
boobie" and placed him firmly on the ground. He was so shocked that he
started crying. (of course, I have never talked to him like that
before, and the fact that he was placed on the floor away from me).
I immidiately felt bad and tried to comfort him and apologize, and
that took a good 10mins (shows how much i hurt his feelings).
Then he nursed down and went to sleep.
I have never felt so bad, this innocent little boy crying because his mommy lost her temper.

Passing Judgement

I went to playgroup today, and I have to say that I didn't feel as welcomed as I had previously. I think today was one of those days when the more extreme "AP-ers" we there. The ones who don't even own a stroller and see the world as intrinsicly bad and need to be sheltered from anything considered "normal".
Don't get me wrong, I love attachment parenting, I just think that sometimes people grab onto a label and then everyone who doesn't exactly fit that label is not "in the group." I find it funny because alot of people say that they are AP and then when thier kids are older it all goes out the window, so maybe they shouldn't pass judgement so so qickly.
Where does this come from? Today I was explaining to a couple moms that Keenan had gone to the dentist, and that she had suggested to put his head inbetween my knees (When I am sitting) and have his legs over my thighs when I am brushing his teeth. So I can get a better view. And then I casually said "and when they get older you can sit on thier arms." And one of the women was shocked, she said "I would NEVER sit on my child" and I felt so put in my place and that now I wasn't as AP as her. Ridiculous! I didn't mean to sit on your child, but let me ask you, when this womans daughter doesnt want to brush her teeth or when she doesnt want medicine and she is throwing a fit and using her flailing arms to stop her mom from comming near her, what is the mom gonna do. You can bet she will sit on her arms.
Attachment parenting is child led parenting, but it is still parenting. And as a parent we have to do what is best for that child, and sometimes it means sitting on thier arms.

Passions, Days and General Hospital

My best friend really peeved me off the other day. We met up with her the other day and she was belly-aching about how hard she has to work, and how her company expects too much from her. Which is true, they do.
She then told Chris and I that "I would love to be a housewife like Alisha so I could stay at home all day and watch soaps."
I immidately said "You have no idea."
I understand that yes, while my son is having a nap, I do get sometime to myself. But I don't sit around all day and watch TV or eat BonBons. I clean, I do homework, I cook, and most of all I entertain a 14month old.
I am not mad at this friend for thinking this, she is the youngest in her family and she has no kids so she really doesn't have any idea. It just irritated me because she said it and Chris thought that it was funny that my bestfriend agrees with him (some of the time).
I think that I was mostly annoyed because she is a woman and I would expect her to have my back, as I would have hers.
We are just really different when it comes to parenting styles. The only good thing I can say is that I have a long memory! So when she calls me sleep deprived at 11am and asks me a parenting question I can say to her, "Why are you even having this problem, arn't you just watching your soaps all day?? Taking care of kids is EASY!"

Non-AP

I went to the McKenzie Towne playgroup today which is an offshoot of the AP group that I belong to. We had quite a good showing. 6 moms and 10 kids. It was in the Village of Prestwick where there is this big water fountain.
Another mom, who wasn't in the group came over and started talking to us. Which was great because it is always nice to network. We kept talking to eachother about AP and how great it is, and our personal experiences, and the new mom finally asked "What is AP?" We answered, cosleeping, breastfeeding, babywearing etc, and I said "following your child's cues." She then replied that she had breastfed her daughter for a really long time, and we asked how long, and she replied 1.5yrs. (Keenan is 1.3yrs). She also said that her daughter had self weaned and that she really didn't want to nurse anymore.
Right after she told us this (justifying why she wasnt extended breastfeeding) I started to nurse Keenan. Her 2 year old daughter came up to her and started asking for a nurse, she got so demanding that the mom felt uncomfortable and had to leave. So much for self weaning.
I just find it funny how non-AP parents feel like they have to make excuses for the way they parent. Like I care how you parent your child. It's you that has to deal with it.

Guilt is a mom's right!

Last week I posted about how great Keenan was when being looked after by another caregiver all day. I was so proud of myself and my parenting.
NOW, today is day 9 of Keenan being watched by my mom all day from 6am-6pm. And he is not adjusting well (an understatement). Keenan is usually a very "well behaved", "sensitive", "empathetic", "easygoing", "happy" little boy. These last couple of days however, he has been "angry", "agressive", having meltdowns and biting me (not while nursing).

What happened to my little boy? Is this just because there has been so much change? Is this his way of expessing his anger of not having me around? I only had to work/school for this one week and then I am back at home full time. Is it too late? How do I get my boy back? I
feel so guilty.
The only positive outcome of this experience is that Chris has seen the emotional change in Keenan and is concerned and not happy, and he has sauid that he liked it better when I was at home taking care of him, so now he doesnt want me to work full time out of the home. :)
A little victory on my part, but not worth the emotional upheaval for Keenan.

PS. Am I reading this right(acting out because of me not being
there)? or is this "normal" for a 14month to act this way??

Shantala

I have started taking the Shantala massage instuctor trainer course. I really enjoy it. It helps me to learn how touch can really be benificial for a baby's development, but I already knew that from school...this just re-iterates that fact.
It has been a rough week for Keenan though. Since Chris is at school my mom is watching Keenan everyday, because this is also the week that I said that I would cover for my old boss (pre Keenan). So I am either at work or school, everyday for 2 weeks. It's okay because my mom parents like I do and I trust her completely with my boy.
He does however have a nasty cough, but the doctor said that it is just viral. I think it is because I am not able to nurse as frequently as we would like as I am not there to nurse him. We still nurse when I get home and twice before bed, he did stop sleeping through the night to start getting his daily fill of nursies. Which is tiring when you are busy all day and just want to veg. But I am not complaining because I love that Keenan still nurses and I will not refuse him. Don't offer don't refuse.
My Shantala course is done this Sat so I will be studying for the final on the 23rd. It never ends with me, something is always on the go.

Happy Parenting

I just wanted to let you all know how pleased I am with myself this week.
Sometimes I question my parenting, while AP looks so good on paper and
the parenting books say that it is the best and your child will be
this that and this; Keenan is only one so it is hard to see that far
into the future. The things I question myself about are extended
breastfeeding, cosleeping and not vaxing > which is neither here nor
there. But these are also the things that people question me and tell
me thier own opinions and judge me harshly for.
Now for the reason for this post. As some of you know, I have been
pressured (for lack of a better word) to bring some income into my
household, so I decided to offer my services to my old boss if
she needed any reief work. She did so I agreed to go in for 1week and
a half full time.
I was afraid and worried about the effects on Keenan. Would he stop
nursing? Would he be mad at me? Would he de-attach from me?
My mom is the one who is watching him all week and she is very pro-AP
so I was satisfied with that.
The day that I was most worried about was Wed 5th. I worked all day,
so Keenan was with my mom and we had Phantom tickets that night, so my
friend (also pro-AP) watched him. He was asleep when we dropped him
off at my moms and asleep when we brought him home, we only
reconnected for a long nurse for 30mins and we had to leave for the show.
I was so worried, that he would be a nightmare for my friend, as his
world was flipped upside down and he hadn't really seen his parents
all day, so we rushed home right after the play.
As I walked in the door, I listened for screaming, and heard none.
Keenan was fast asleep. My friend said that he laughed himself to sleep.
That is why AP works. That is why I cosleep and nurse to sleep.
Because it helps to create a little boy who will laugh himself to
sleep because he is confident and independant and knows that mommy and
daddy love him and would never leave him or neglect him in any way. He
is securely attached.
Like I said before, I sometimes question if I am doing it right, and
on wednesday night I got my answer.