BBQ and Huckleberry's Kids

Went to a friends BBQ yesterday and it was so much fun! Chris couldn't come as he was working, again, but it was fun anyway. Met new people which is always fun, and the beats part is that they were all my age. My girlfriend was so nice as she picked Keenan and I up just so we could go. We rosted hotdogs and marshmellows. I love marshmellows. I would like Chris and her husband to get along, but maybe they wont as is probably the case because if you really like someone, then your partner usually wont like thier partner. But here is to hoping. Keenan and I walked superfar today. Like a 2hr walk. We walked to this place called Huckleberry's Kids its a consingnment shop where outfits cost as cheap as one dollar. I told Chris that we should be shopping therte to save money, but I really like the look of new clothes. Hopefully we get a bunch for Keenan on his birthday. I just read an article about a mother who lost her son, 12 days after he was born. It makes me feel like all my drivel is pointless and I really am at a loss to say anything substantial. So I will just stop now for today. Here is the link to the article. http://www.literarymama.com/creativenonfiction/memoir/archives/000179.html

The Woes of Finances

Life is a struggle. With a new house and a newish baby things can get a little expensive. Especially when you don't bring in an income. I wish that they > the gov't would pay for stay at home moms. We are doing the community a tremendous service, shaping the minds of little citizens. I read somewhere that if a SAHM got paid for what she did, she would have an annual salary of 130K. Send some of that my way. It sucks that all the financial burden is on my husband. It sucks even more that he is working alot to support us. It sucks the most that most of that work takes him away for days on end. But I am at a complete loss for what I can do to help. I honestly don't think that we could afford to give Keenan the level of childcare that he deserves. I will not just put him in some cheap ass daycare and let them extingish the light out of my sons eyes and let him lose his trust and happiness. I am not saying that all day care is bad, and yes I am awrae that it is a nessisary evil, but I do know a couple people personally that I would NEVER leave Keenan with, and they both have Early Childhood Certificates. Also all the horror stories on the news about kids being forgotten or disiplined too harshly.

I just feel that it is my job to raise up my kid. I didnt have him so someone else would do it for me. And I am lucky that I am in the position that my husband agrees with me that I should stay home, it's just that I wish I could take some of the stress and the burden off of him. I try and think of get rich quick schemes and other ways to make money. Take online surveys make $1000's a week, but you have to pay $50 up front. Scam? I dont know. Selling tupperware, or other "party" moneymakers. But would that work? Who would take Keenan? I could work part time if Chris was availble to take care of Keenan, otherwise I would be working to pay for his daycare, or babysitter, or nanny.

I really feel at a loss. The people I talk to keep telling me to bring kids in, start a dayhome. That way I get paid for taking care of other peoples kids. It seems smart in the short term, but it would mean many a life change for Keenan and I. No more sleeping in, no alone time, and being responsible for other kids. We would need a schedule, thatis for sure. The only problem I see with this solution is, when am I going to finish my degree? Am I doomed not to finish it at all? I wanted to go back to school next fall, maybe have my mom look after Keenan for a couple hrs on Tues and Thurs. But then there is no down time.

I have no idea what to do. I just feel all this unspoken pressure to get a job to start contributing financially. It just sucks.

It's a Small Small World

I was walking home a couple days ago and saw as car slow down and park next to me. The driver didn't get out, he just unrolled the passenger window and let the car idling. So I looked in and it was this guy Gerorge from Highschool. I haven't seen him for about 5 yrs. I asked him how it was going and he let me know that things were great and that he was living in my neighbourhood. How crazy is that. Then a few days later as I was walking past the same place a guy came running out of one of the condos into a truck, and lo and behold, it was Jay an ex (if you would even call him that as the relationship was like what a week long :) ) and he was leaving his house. I said Hey but he didnt stop to chat as he was in a hurry. But I told my hubby that 2 people from my group of highschool friends live less than 5 blocks away from us. And then yesterday as I was walking home from Sobeys Chris stopped to get a coffee, and who should I run into? Another friend from highschool. She (Cathy) came out to see the baby and told me that she was having coffee, with another friend from H.S. Lindsey. So now I had seen 4 people in less than a week. The cool/funny thing that Cathy told me was that she was still in contact with Jay and he and his highschool sweetheart Joie are expecting thier first in June. That is so crazy! You know why? Because they are my age!!! Finally someone my age having a baby in McKenzie Towne. I am not sure if they would like to hook up with me though, because highschool was so long ago, and jay, joie and i were not like bestfriends at the end of it. But you never know, a familar face at the playgroups at the community center or at the LLL meeting. If I talk to Cathy again, which I should as I have her on my MSN contacts, I will ask her to tell Joie about the LLL meetings because they are so valuble.

It's funny how things like that happen all at once. The best part was seeing Cathy because we were such good friends and she is always so sincere. She saw me when I was pregnant and I was hoping that she would get to see the baby because she seemed so excited for me.

I know that Highschool was years ago, but sometimes it's nice to see what people are up to, what they have accomplished in life.

I just can't believe what a small world it is. Crazyness.

Pancakes and Playgroup

As I am housesitting today it just so happened that I had to get my lazy butt out of bed at the ungodly hour of 8am to take my sister to school. The worst part is that Keenan had to be woken up and now he will be grumpy all day. But, what can you do? Just need to suck it up. But now that we are awake in the morning Keenan needs sustinance. So pancakes it is. Of course the master pancake maker is at work so my brother and I are attempting. Not so bad a result. A little burned but that is how all the food I cook turns out.
"Stop setting a timer and walking away!"
I am a little bummed as I have access to a car and nowhere to go. My playgroup looks like it is officially over as the babes are all one next month. Well in less than 20days. We had a picnic last friday because it was a holiday and everyone showed up. We should have all said goodbye, because that is the way it looks to be. That sucks! I would really like some mommy company today as it is supposed to be 20degrees and I would love to go for a walk. Well maybe someone will call me or something.
But, I know that Keenans nap will get in the way today. So we will just have to see how it goes.

Eleven Months and The Zoo

I can't believe that my little bambino just turned eleven months old. I have officially sent out the invites for the birthday party. And if you didnt get one it is because I dont have enough space for everyone on my contact list. Or I have already talked to you and you can't come because you are working, either way sorry that everyone cant come! I have not decided on a theme and I am still not sure if I am going to bake the cake or not. But at least the invites are out. People will come. We are planning to have a big to do with the playgroup. A group birthday if you will, because all the babies will be turning one at around the same time. Maybe we will do a secret santa type thing. Or not as they will get quite a bit of stuff from thier respective families. We went to the zoo yesterday for the first time as a family. It was alot of fun and the right day to do it. We must have been thinking the same thing that all other parents in the city were thinking as the zoo was soooo packed. But it was still fun. Got to see the baby hippo and the gorrilas and two baby bear cubs. Keenan looked around and saw some of the animal from his vantage point in the stroller but I think that he just thought that we were going on a really long walk. I have not decided if I am going to break down and buy a annual pass..$45 each (adult) as that is a lot of money up front, but it pays for itself in 3 visits. Maybe after he turns a year old. We shall see.

The Park

We love the park! Keenan loves to swing whenever he can! He actually gets upset if I take him out of the swing before he is ready! It is so funny. And the park is only like 10 steps away from our front door. This is a great house.

Mornings and Playgroups

Today Sucks! Keenan woke me up at 7:30 this morning and would not go back to sleep. I dont thin that I fell asleep until after midnight last night, and now he is having a nap and I am wide awake, but grumpy and tired. He will probably have 2 naps today if I know him.

I was hoping to have the playgroup over today for tea and brownies but everyone cancelled on me! Not sure if it because they all are starting to work again, or that McKenzie Towne is just too far away. I am just bummed because I was looking forward to it as this week was a litlle lame. The worst part is that Chris has the day off but because I thought that I would be with my playgroup I told him to go and hang out with his dad, so now I am home alone. (with Keenan of course).

I know that playgroup is going to end. They all have to go back to work, and I cant spend all of my gas money driving to the other side of the city just for a walk. It's too expensive and we really don't have the budget for it. But I do like the time with other moms and babys. Its fun to see the babies interact and socialize with the other moms.

There is a new playgroup starting on Tuesdays with the AP parents in Deerrun. Not really keen on Deerrun (too much stuff from Highschool) but if I have to go I will. It's just with my old playgroup all the babies were the same age, and with this one they are all over the board. What can you do?

I will go and check this new one out on Tues, I just hate that initial meeting!

Andrew Lloyd Webber, My Hero

My in laws bought me tickets to Cats and The Phantom. Chris and I left Keenan for 7 whole hours while we went to dinner and then to Cats. Dinner was good, dinner is always good when I don't have to pay for it or cook it. And Cats was, well, Cats. I am so suprised that someone could come up with a whole play about Cats that lasts 2 whole hours! Songs and lyrics just about different cats. Sometimes I found myself falling asleep. But I am not sure if that is because the show was boring at points or because Chris got me up early because of the time change the night before.

The funnest part about our date with the in laws was the dressing up. I havent dressed up in almost 10 months. Dressed up means wearing a regular bra and not a nursing bra. I was so excited because I bought this special bra from Victorias Secret when I went to the States, and I finally got to wear it. But it worked a little too well because I thought that I havent changed at all since having Keenan and I found out the hard way that yes, I am a breastfeeding mother. While we were on the way to my moms my boobs were practically popping out of my dress, in a not so flattering way. So I borrowed a bigger dress at my moms (thank god we are close to the same size) and we went to the show. I was much more comfortable. I know, Too much information.

I was so suprised that Keenan did so well without me for the whole 7 hours. He did get fussy at the end but that is because it was WAY past his bedtime.

I am really greatfull to my inlaws for buying these tickets as we would never be able to afford them ourselves. Of course I would have begged my own parents if I didnt get them from the inlaws, but my parents arnt so much in to musicals. my mom maybe. I hope that one day we will be able to take Keenan and his siblings to plays and musicals, you know make them cultured. but not snobby. But, only time will tell.

I think we will have to learn how to budget first.