R is for RAINBOW

I am taking two weeks to do each letter of the alphabet with my preschooler and Kindergarten/Grade 1 child. The first letter that we have looked at is the letter R.

We started by doing a whole week on Robots which was a whole lot of fun! (check it out here)

I decided to also touch on the Grade 1 Alberta program of study objective of "Creating Colour" by continuing our lesson in R with Rainbows. 

The first day we watched some videos on Rainbows. The kids really enjoyed all the different "Sing a Rainbow" versions. We also watched some PBS videos on how rainbows are made. 

Next, I gave the kids some bingo daubers and let them have at it. My kids are extremely kinaesthetic learners so smashing the daubers on the paper to make the ink fly was the highlight of this project. While they didn't make a rainbow, they definitely enjoyed themselves seeing all the colours that they could choose from to make for a really open ended art project.

My oldest son just did a science project on polymers for his Grade 3 Celebration of Learning, and so the next project that we did with the younger boys used the same materials.

One polymer that my kids LOVE to play with are water beads. If you have not had your kids play with water beads before you need to stop reading this post right now and buy some off Amazon and then come right back!

Water beads are SO much fun! They are sold as a substitute for soil for plants and for decoration, but as a learning toy they are much more useful! First I had the boys try and separate the beads into all the different colours, which was a true test of fine motor skills. Next I had them use pipettes to fill the test tubes with water. It took about an hour for the beads to absorb all of the water, but when they did the kids dove right in! It is one activity that really fills that need for sensory play. The beads are slimy and bouncy so the kids kept squishing them and popping them, and then sorting them again and again and again. They spent at least a good two hours each day just playing with them. So the $1 investment for the beads it was well worth it!! 

The next polymer that we played with was "InstaSnow". This stuff is incredible! You just use a tablespoon and some water and it expands to a 4th of a cup or so. To make the rainbow I took a little bit of the snow, put 3 drops of each food colouring into separate cups (using 2 drops of red/ 1 yellow etc to make orange etc.) and then put them all into a shallow dish in the correct order. It was so pretty for about 10 mins, and then it was all mixed up. All was not lost though, as it showed the kids what happens when you mix all the colours together....grey!!!

We saved the best for last. As a kid I remember making rainbows with Fruit Loops and loving it! I happily bought the colourful cereal for my kids to do the same. Of course they were able to sneak a few into their mouths without me noticing (or they think that I didn't notice). I always like to have a box of Fruit Loops in my craft room as they are really fun to play with, completely non toxic (lol), and they smell good too! I absolutely loved the rainbows that the boys made - they went up on our display wall as soon as they were dry! 

Once we finished our project with the Fruit Loops our lesson on the letter R and rainbows was complete! However, the boys had a different idea. My middle child decided to use the Fruit Loops and make himself an R out of them and exclaimed "Look mom! A rainbow R!" He was so pleased with his creation.

My older son who was participating in the crafts was influenced by the rainbow theme going on as well. Later that day I found that he had organized all his Trash Pack by colour. It was neat to see them take the lessons one step further.

Skip the Babyshower! Have a Mother Blessing Instead!

When I was pregnant with my first child (almost 9 years ago) I was determined to check off every item that babycentre canada said that I needed as a first time mom. My husband and i were both students so we were not as flush as we would have hoped and so we thought a good way to get baby items was to throw a babyshower. It was a good time for sure. We played all of the party games and I got a ton of swag....which I barely even used.

The part about a babyshower that no one tells you is that you probably won't be using all of the "must haves" that the baby companies say that you need. In reality, you only need clothing and diapers. Other than that, everything else is completely personal. (We didn't even use our crib!)
So when baby number 2 and 3 came around I decided to go the more non-traditional route and have a Blessing Way.

A Mother Blessing or Blessingway is a tradition that is taken from many other traditions and then melded to make a beautiful ceremony that celebrates women and motherhood.
Traditionally it is comprised of a group of women that are mothers but who are also incredibly close to the mother who is being celebrated. The guest list is very intimate and extremely exclusive. If a woman invites you to her blessing way, she feels that you alone have a very special place in her heart, and it something to feel very honoured about. (you don't just invite everyone.)

There is no right way to plan a Blessingway, as every mothers needs are different, just as every woman is different. A mother blessing for a first time mom will look very different from that of a second time mom, or a mom who has/going to have a C-birth or a VBAC. If you are hosting the Blessingway for your friend/sister it is important to know this and plan accordingly.

I thought it might be nice if I explained how my own blessing ways typically go, so that you can get a better idea and start planning one for a close girlfriend, or get someone to throw one for you!

About a month before the event send out the invitations. In the invite let everyone know what a Blessingway is and ask them to bring a bead that will be strung on the birth mother's neck while in labour so that she can remember everyone who is there to support her during her birth. Ask them to come with a couple of blessings in mind, one for the mom about her birth, one for the baby, and one for the mom about how her life will change.

Also, ask the guests to bring a potluck item for everyone to share. After the ceremony, it's always nice to nosh together and just talk.

On the day of, if the mother wanted people to place their blessings inside her belly cast, then make sure that she has already made one a couple days before. If not, and she wants to do a belly cast, this can be a fun activity to do at the Blessing so make sure you have the items available.

Once all the guests arrive and are seated in a circle, go around the circle and have each woman introduce herself by her mothers lineage. For example, My name is Alisha, daughter of Ruth, Granddaughter of Audrey, and so on. At this point each woman lights a candle. These candles are to stay lit for the whole ceremony, and at the end each woman takes hers home to re-light when the mother goes into labour. It is also nice at this point to have each mom tell a funny story about the mom-to-be, or how they met, or why they feel their friendship is valuable etc. (The whole point is to make the mom feel supported).

Next, each woman goes around the circle and places a bead on a string, explaining why they chose that particular bead, and what significance it has to them or the new mom, while doing this they also state the wish that they have for the upcoming birth. For example, "I wish for your birth to be one of complete calmness and love. To birth with openness and strength." Once the necklace is done it is placed around the mothers neck.

Next, there is a little pampering where the mother can get her feet washed, hair brushed, nails painted, henna started (henna on the belly). Sometimes a crown of flowers will be placed on her head. Just to signify how beautiful she is; inside and out. Sometimes women bring items for a pampering basket for after the baby is born.

After the pampering is done, the attendants are asked to share their hopes and dreams for the child and mother. They can also be asked to write them down, as to keep a scrapbook if the mother so wished. For example, "My wish for your child is that they are happy and healthy. My wish for you is to have patience  and understand that the early years are so fleeting. Embrace your child with all the love you feel for them now, everyday."

When all of the blessings are over, get a ball of yarn and tie a couple loops around each woman's wrist. This signifies that all the women in the circle are connected and they are asked to wear that bracelet until the baby is born, so that each time they look down at their wrist they think of the special day, the mother, the child and all of the women who were in the room. (After the baby is born everyone can cut their bracelets off - but sometimes the new mom will wear it for 6 weeks post-partum or until it falls off to remind her of the support that is still there if she needs it.)

Lastly, the candles are blown out and all of the women move to the food table. Sharing stories of motherhood, life and support. Sometimes there is a sign-up list for each woman to bring a meal to the family when the child makes an appearance.

I hope that was informative for all of you, and I hope that maybe you will throw one of these, or go to one in the future. If you have any questions or comments please leave them below.

My Top 10 Must-Haves for New Moms

Notice that I said my top 10, because every mom is different.
After having 3 kids and getting ready for baby #4 these are all the things that I found to be valuable.

1. Post-Partum After Care Kit 
There is a reason that this is number one. Sometimes we get so focused on having the baby, we forget that there is recovery after. The recovery is different for a C-birth or a Vaginal birth, but it does have some overlap.

For a Vaginal Birth 
Frozen Pads - these are a must. If you only do one thing, do this. Take some witch hazel or calendula and mix it with water and lavender essential oil and spray it onto extra large and absorbent sanitary napkins. Freeze them open faced and then put them away folded up. Every time you use the bathroom after birth grab one of these. The relief is just amazing.
Peri Bottle - Fill with warm water and spray it on your swollen bits while and after you go pee. Takes the sting away.
Witch Hazel - When you are past the frozen pad stage a spray bottle of witch hazel, lavender and water by the toilet will be a soothing comfort as you heal from your birth.
Arnica - Homeopathic for swelling and for after pains...of course you can use Tylenol or Advil if that is more your style.
Here is a kit that is already made to buy from Earth Mama Angel Baby.

For a C-Birth 
Comfortable Undies that do not sit on your incision.
Arnica and Tylenol for pain and swelling.
Slip on shoes.
Frozen Peas, or other cooling pads.
Stool Softeners.
A hairdryer to dry the incision site after a shower.

http://www.babybuddy.com

2. A Breastfeeding Pillow 
This is a must have for both breastfeeding and bottle feeding moms alike. A nice pillow is really helpful when sitting up (when you are weak) to start establishing breastfeeding, or when you want the baby close to you when feeding from the bottle. (you are still weak). Also for moms that have had a C-birth it helps that you don't have to bend to pick up your baby as they are elevated right in front of you.

3. Lanolin
This is for the breastfeeding mothers. This is for protection of your sensitive nipples. Apply after every feed.

4. GlamourMom Nursing Tanks

http://www.glamourmom.com

Again for the nursing mothers. I practically live in my glamourmoms all pregnancy and motherhood. I found that bras were constrictive and caused me blocked ducts, and so the glamourmoms provide just enough support - but can be really used and withstand all the spit up and abuse.

5. Bouncer
I really liked the bouncer for using when I was in the shower. Some women like to use the bumbo but bumbos are really not for newborns and my kids would star-fish out so bringing it in the shower is not something I feel comfortable with. Having the bouncer right outside the shower door was a nice compromise.

6. Stretchy Wrap or a Ring Sling 

Me 3 days after having my 3rd son.

I found that I didn't need these as much for my first child, but for my second and third there was not a day that went by that the baby wasn't in a carrier. A carrier allows you to eat with both hands and is so helpful in the bathroom...which is pretty much all you do for the first 4 weeks. Babies love to hear their mothers heartbeat so keeping them close allows them to sleep better and be comforted by you.

So cute!! 

7. Baby Nighties 

These are sometimes hard to find but worth it. When the baby is so new all those teeny snaps make for longer diaper changes that can potentially wake the baby up from their deep sleep. Using a baby nightie means quicker and easier diaper changes! I think that speaks for itself!

8. Freezer Full of Meals
There are two ways to get a freezer full of meals. Either you make them all ahead yourself while nesting...or have a babyshower or blessingway where everyone signs up to bring you one. Seriously, not having to think about dinner or snacks when you have a new baby at home is bliss. Just bliss.

9. A Tribe
Finding other parents that are of similar mindset to you is paramount. This is especially true once everyone goes back to their regular life and you are left at home with a newborn all by yourself. PPD is a real epidemic in our society and so finding people that you can relate to, bounce ideas off of, go to the park or a walk with is pretty important. The internet is a great start to find these people - but an "in real life" tribe is even better.

10. A Post Partum Doula/ Lactation Consultant/ Post Partum Support Group.
Professionals are always good to have in your back pocket. They can help us in places that our family, friends and/or tribe can't. They can see where we really need help, and if we are struggling. They can help us get back on our feet. I find them really invaluable!!

So, there you have it, my top 10 for new moms! Did I miss anything?? Leave suggestions in comments.

Arbonne Product Review and my First Giveaway!

When my friend Kim from Two Bugs and a Blog asked me if I wanted to try out some Arbonne products I jumped at the chance. Ever since becoming a mom I have had a really hard time getting out of the house and taking time for myself. This includes exercise and personal care. I want to get products that are mostly natural after watching The Story of Cosmetics by Annie Leonard, and just being more conscious about it. Now, I now that not all products are going to be able to be 100% natural and I just can not get on the "no poo" bandwagon... really, I can't. 

You know how some people have problems using natural cleaning supplies because clean doesnt actually smell like anything and they want their houses to smell like Pine Sol? Mine is shampoo... if it doesn't smell like flowers and lathers like no body's business then I am not into it. 

Anyway, I am getting off topic. So when my friend offered to drop some different samples to my house I was stoked. I am actively looking for something for my face. I am now going to be the mom of 4 and it is showing in my eyes, and under them. I was super surprised that she dropped off a whole basket of actual products. Bottles of products to use for the whole week! I was expecting little packets that wouldn't even last a day. I was able to actually try all the products out in the comfort of my own home. (apparently this is a thing that Arbonne does). 

So, I have decided to put together a post to show you my favourites and one lucky local reader will get a free bottle of ABC Hair and Body Wash. How fun is that? Plus it's my first giveaway... (going into the big leagues with blog giveaways!!) 

The first product that I really liked was the Pure Vibrance Mousse. I use mousse right now - but it's a drug store brand. Studio something or other. It works okay, but it still leaves my hair really heavy, which isn't so great with fine hair like I have. I was actually surprised how well this mousse worked and it was really fluffy and left my hair really soft. Also, it smells great - see, the smell thing. So I really liked it!! 

The Shea Butter Hand lotion was really used. I love Shea Butter and this reminded me of the Body Shop but in tube form. I used this everyday, twice a day and it is the one product that I think I may have to have a Arbonne party just so I can buy it. It wasn't sticky or greasy, but it kept my chronic dry hands really hydrated. It's small enough to fit in your purse too, that is where I would keep it! 

Lastly, I just had to try the sunscreen. I love that it is waterproof, that it is not greasy and that it smells good. I think these are all really good qualities of a good sunscreen. I use the Badger stuff on my kids and am okay with the price because they are smaller people and do not burn as easy as me. I, on the other hand, have to re-apply every 45 mins and make sure that it is a thick coat or I turn into a lobster. Not pretty. This kept me protected and I didn't burn at all. It's a must have for sure. 

I was pretty impressed with the products that I tried and these were just my top picks. There were many more in the basket that were wonderful and I will have to have a party to buy them. 

I do love a home party (as I have no time at all to go anywhere....plus I love shopping from home). 

I would at least give them a try, what do you really have to lose?! 

So now for the GIVEAWAY. 

Answer in comments - How do you fit in your beauty care routine when you have young children to take care of? 

I will choose a random person by throwing all your names in a hat and having my youngest pick the winner! Contest closes on JUNE 30 at 11:59pm. (MST)

Saying Goodbye to a Family Pet

As we all know life sometimes decides to kick you in the butt and throws things at you that you may not be expecting. This is exactly what has happened with our family. I wanted to share a little bit of our story and some resources in case you have to go through this as well.

Baby Leata

When I was 15 I found a little kitten across the street by my highschool. I was skipping science and she ran across the street into oncoming traffic…I lost my mind for a moment and ran out in front of a car to save her. She was mine at that moment. I yelled at the teens driving the car as I was convinced that they wanted to hit her, and decided to cut the rest of school that day and walk home.

My mom didn't want a cat, didn't want the responsibility. I promised that I would take care of her. I begged, I cried. I had an all out tantrum I am sure. My best friend was cat sitting for me as I did the responsible thing and called the SPCA to report her, to see if anyone was looking for her. I secretly hoped that she was just a stray, and it turned out she was.

Her Favourite Thing to Do

I brought her home one day and my family fell in love with her, and my mom decided to gift her to me for my 16th birthday. She made it clear that Leata was mine and mine alone, and I was in charge of all the duties that come with pet ownership. I would have promised anything that day and agreed.

She used to sleep in between my arms, curl up on my lap, give me kisses on my nose and ride on my shoulders like Luna from Sailor Moon. (which was my favourite show at the time). She would go on walks on a leash, she would try to steal my Doritos, and one time even came up and licked my chupa chup….she was mine all right. One day I thought that I had lost her as she swallowed a needle and thread that I had carelessly left out…I don't think I had ever been so scared.

Us in our younger years.

As the years past, she became more of a family pet, and when I moved to University she stayed with my parents. When I moved back, and then out with my boyfriend (who is now my husband), she came with. We decided to get another cat to keep her company, and then we started our family.

3 kids, and a dog later and Leata is an elderly cat who just likes to curl up on the couch and wait for us to go to her. A couple months ago she was diagnosed with renal failure. She started to pee on everything that we have in our basement. So much so that it will all have to be ripped up and reno'ed. She is now incontinent.

The vet has told us that it is time. We know in our hearts that it is time, so now we spend the rest of this month starting rituals to say goodbye. I just see the little kitten that ran to me so many years ago, and my heart aches.

To get my kids ready for this I have visited a couple pet-loss websites and read them a couple books. I really feel that you can never get enough information on how to deal with life's difficult situations. Not only does this help me, I hope that it will soften the blow for my 7 year old in particular.

Nothing can truly prepare you, but sometimes information can help. Here is what I found. I hope that they can help you as well.

1. Helping Children Cope
2. The Rainbow Bridge
3. When Children Grieve
4. Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children 
5. The 6 Do's and Don'ts of Explaining Pet Loss to Children
6. Explaining Pet Loss to Children of Different ages. 
7. Sesame Street explaining the Death of Mr.Hooper. (circa 1970's)

If you know of any other resources please leave them in comments.

Such a pretty lady. She will be missed!

Eye of Newt, Scrambled Brains and Boo-nanas.

And so begins the week that my children wait for all year long.

In our house I make Halloween themed food for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner (even some snacks) for the week leading up to Halloween. I admit that it is a little crazy, and maybe even has a little bit of an overachieving mommy vibe. However, I started this tradition when my oldest son was 3 and so now he expects it. (and it's fun!!)

Finding dinner ideas is easy, thanks to Pinterest, but breakfast and lunch are just a bit harder. As you all know I like to make things that are really easy. (and fast!) I have scoured high and low to find just what I am looking for and now will share them with you!!

Here are three of my favourite recipes to keep the spooky starting out right.

Eye of Newt

The picture says it all doesn't it?

Hard boiled eggs are such an easy thing to grab and make spooky. This week I will be making some new breakfasts just using food colouring and a food writer pen. (I will share those on Facebook, and Twitter for those interested).

For this recipe I just took a hard boiled egg and removed the yolk. I then dyed it green and scraped it back into the cavity. I used a red pepper to make a made face and also to add some veggies for fibre. I finished it off with two snap peas and almond slivers. I also had a full bowl of snap peas for them to eat once they ate the plated version.

Scrambled Brains 

I make scrambled brains a couple times during the week as they are so easy and the protein is what my kids need to start the day off right. If you are vegetarian, you can use a Tofu Scramble instead of eggs, as both look the same when finished.

Basically, just take the eggs/scramble and plate them so that they look like a brain. I use a quarter cup measure and put 2 servings side by side. You can then take ketchup and pour it around the "brain". It's really all in how you decorate it! Get creative!!

Boo - nanas

I love these and they are so easy to do! You can make them for any type of class treat as they are as healthy as you can get, (and incredibly inexpensive).

Just take a banana cut it in half and add eyes. I use carob chips, but you can use what ever you want.

There is also a recipe where you dip these in yogurt, coconut butter or in white chocolate - any will do!

With all my meals I add props to make them just a bit spookier. Use skeletons, bats, spiders and other Halloween items to make the dish look that much more "Halloween". The dollar store has many different options to choose from!

If you have any pictures of these recipes please feel free to share them with me or link to them in comments. I love seeing all the Halloween festivities!!

Corn Maze Fun for Everyone

Fall in Calgary the last couple of years has been as hot as the summer. Since the winter can drag on we try to get out and enjoy ourselves as much as we can during these warm September and October days. Finding things to do is never a problem, but we like to do things that are outside and close to home. Since the Calgary Corn Maze is only 20 mins outside of the city it was a perfect outing for our family to enjoy each other and the weather. 

Visiting the Calgary Corn Maze

We love visiting the maze, so much so that we get a seasons pass every single year. There is so much to do that we usually come at least 3 or 4 times a month, which is really well worth the value. Also, my youngest son is under 2 so he is still free. (which is always a bonus). 

The Calgary Corn Maze adds new attractions each year so my kids are always excited to try out the old and the new. Plus the maze itself changes as well. 

First thing on the agenda was to go to the "Little Kids" maze. This maze is a really fun one for both the kids and the adults. The point is to find 5 different stations and colour each one of your fingers with the chalk provided. It can change every time, and each person can have a different sequence depending on the fingers that they have chosen to colour. 

"Just one finger!!!"

This maze is small enough that you can let the kids take the lead and get "lost". One year the owners let us know that if you always went right, you would find all the stations and get out quickly (if you had small children that were melting). This maze only takes about 15-30 mins, depending on how many times you get lost and how much you allow your 4 year old to choose the route. At the end of the maze there is a big board with all the colour combinations that give you a "task" to do that corresponds. I felt it was ironic that my middle child was to "act like a wrestler." He joyfully accepted the task!

See the glint in his eyes?

After the kids corn maze we decided to check out the petting zoo. My sons love goats for some reason, and so they ran as fast as they could to their enclosure. On the way, we noticed people lining up next to the pig pen and a man came out to tell us that the piglets were going to be racing. Pig racing!! How cute! We each chose a colour and cheered on our little pigs. Pigs may be one the smartest animals on the planet - but these 4 pigs were a little slow to the gate. Green came away the winner for the first race and then for the second heat. I think this was because he was the only one not concerned with getting grass in his belly! The race after lunchtime was much more of a nail biter! 

"Here, piggy, piggy, piggy!"

We headed off to see the rest of the animals. There were bunnies, chickens, and ducks to see and they did not disappoint. My middle child spotted the "yellow ducky" race and had to challenge his older brother in a game or two (or three, or four or five - you know what? I lost count really). The duck race was really a hit. It is so neat to see as well as all it is; is a piece of pipe and an old fashioned water pump. However, this was a real draw for all of the kids there and they all really wanted to have a turn. 

"Yellow Ducky, you're the one!"

We stopped at this point to eat our lunch and play on the fabulous new playground. The Calgary Corn Maze does have a concession. It sells the regular food that you would expect. Hamburgers, hot dogs, fries, chips, pop, ice-cream and Popsicles. We decided that we would just brown bag it as we are vegetarian and you never know if concessions will have suitable food. I have heard that the food is really good - but I cannot comment for myself. After we had our lunch and played for a little while, the husband spotted a cow train. I have absolutely no idea how he squeezed himself in there. I had a hard time and I am only a small little lady. The sacrifices that we do for fun…I mean, our children.

Looks pretty cozy.

Since this was the first time that the husband had been to the Corn Maze with us, I wanted to show him the big maze. The kids were not as interested as there was a time when I owned my preschool that they had gotten a little traumatized by it. It was late October, it was super cold, and we were not properly dressed. We had a field trip and it was mainly little babies and their 3 year old siblings. We allowed the kids to choose the route and got incredibly lost. We walked for quite a long time before the moms started to bail out of the "emergency exits". I promised the kids that it would not happen again. (we were much more prepared and hey, daddy was with us!)

We did both phases of the maze. It was in the shape of a big gorilla and the boys liked to jump on it's head and arms etc. My husband carried the map so that we could make it out in a reasonable amount of time. (and yes, I know it was cheating). The coolest thing is that they actually have nights where you can do the maze in the dark, and if we got some childcare, we would do that for sure. Flashlights and a corn maze, how fun is that?! (unless you are Mel Gibson.) 

Running through the maze! 

Last but not least the kids visited the 3 different slides that the Corn Maze has to offer. Tip for moms - dress the kids in farm appropriate attire. The bike track, and the bouncy pillows had to be the biggest hits for my kids. Now, I am not a huge fan of these things because I like to be in control and even the dads like to double bounce whoever is on the pillows..so if you have little toddlers that want to bounce, send someone with good balance or go during a weekday when all the big kids (and dads!!) are at school/work. 

My kids spent a good half an hour on these bouncy pillows. They loved to run across them and double bounce each other - much to my dismay. But, in the end, they loved them so mommy just has to learn to let go a little bit more. 

We stayed at the Calgary Corn Maze for over 4 hours and STILL did not see all of the attractions. We had an awesome time (as always) and we will be back again for sure. 

If you want to get more information about the Calgary Corn Maze you can visit their website here or like them on Facebook.

***This was not a sponsored post - I just love this place and wanted to share it with my local readers***

Mommy Judgement

I have been thinking a lot on mommy judgement as of late as a couple articles that have come out in the last couple days (one that I wrote) and another have caused quite a debate in the mommy world.

We speak about how when people know better they do better, and that everyone will find a way that works for their family, and how judgement fuels the mommy wars - and it does, but that doesn't mean that all moms need to stop judging.

Wait…did I just say that you *should* judge? Wasn't my last post all about *not* judging…am I contradicting myself? I would say no, because I personally believe that there are different kinds of judgement, and different degrees of how one should be judged.

Let me give you some examples.

I wrote an article on being a "sometimes" single parent. This is when mom or dad is out of town for work on a regular basis. It talked about coping techniques and how to keep your family whole when one is obviously missing. When I posted about it a couple friends of mine were completely insulted that I would write about being a single parent when I am not one. (but the article wasn't about that) I feel as if I was judged very harshly - without any real information gathered. Neither of them had actually read the article so they were just putting their perception of what they *thought* I had written and judged me for it.

This is not a nice way to judge moms.

Another would be judging a mom on how she goes about the day to day of raising her kids. Judging them on what they eat, what they wear or how they dress. We can also go into where the baby sleeps, what they do for a living etc. etc. These are normal judgments that run rampant in society - and really shouldnt matter. Every single person is judging you. Watching you. Looking at what you are doing. They are called snap judgments and to try and get people above this - especially when they are looking for connections (like in mommy groups) is almost impossible. Unless you are a devout spiritual person... I would say that everyone has these type of judgments.

As a side, these are the judgments that I fall prey to the most. I fret about how I look and how my kids look to the outside world on a regular basis…it is why there are brushes and wipes in my car at all times.

This isn't a nice way to judge people either but this one is more of a *perception* at any given moment people may or may not be actually judging you - and for the most part these are judgments that you have about yourself - remember my last post (own your choice).

The third judgement is where the second article landed on. A parent "expert" consistantly tells parents to let their children cry themselves to sleep and not check on them for extended periods of time from 2 months on.. (or 12lbs - which ever comes first). Anyway, she felt judged by parents who did not believe in her methods and other parents who use these methods also feel judged (albeit maybe having not used the extreme methods that she subscribes to).

Isn't this a good judgment? If someone is doing something that is harmful to another person, or preying on people when they are in a vulerable state…isnt this when we *should* judge?
To me advocating that an infant under 8 weeks should be left for 12 hrs at night with no exceptions is abuse…and so this expert in my opinion is teaching abuse. She should be judged.

The moms that follow her blindly should be as well. Then they should also get the support that they need.

I kind of liken it to Child Protective Services. Lets say you see a mom that is yelling at a baby. Some one under 6 months old. She is really loud, screaming at a defensless infant - in a food court - or maybe she tells you that she locks her child in the bathroom all night without supper until he poops in the potty (for hours on end), or that on Facebook you see that a mom says that she puts hot sauce on her toddlers mouth when he swears….. these are all reasons why CPS would be called…. but wait..is this judgement or is it looking out for someone who can not look out for themselves??

I believe it is the latter. Children need protection by the people in the society surrounding them. The society surrounding them uses judgement to assess whether a behaviour is acceptble or not.

So mommy's… there are three kinds of judgement; snap judgments, the judgement that you *percieve* (which may or may not actually be there) and the judgement that I hope that everyone does…every single day.

I know I do.


**added after being published - I also wanted to say that since I judge moms I expect judgement from moms as well. If I am harming my kids I *want* to be called on it. If we feel like everything we do as parents is not a regret - then we really *shouldn't* feel judgement - and have nothing to really worry about. IMO.

A Conversation of Great Misunderstanding.

Conversation while colouring on a toilet paper roll………

Child - "I am going to make a testicle."
Me - "A what?"
Child - "A testicle, you know…to look through."
Me - "OH!! A telescope! I thought that you were saying testicle…a part of your penis."
Child - "No, a telescope. You know, Octopuses have testicles….tones of them!"
Me - "Hahahaha! No. Tenticles."
Child - "That is what I said, testicles."

Sanctimommy

When most people post about Sanctimommies they are talking about me.

Someone who Co-Sleeps (doesnt CIO), Babywears (every day all day), Births at Home, Breastfeeds well into toddlerhood, delayed or selective Vaccination, eats Organic. (or as organic as I can do at the moment), Homeschools (oooh..that is a new one!) etc. etc. etc. etc.

Oh wait! And the pinnicle is that they tell other people about thier way of life.... guilty.

But here is the thing. I dont really care if you used CIO, wear a Bjorn or use a Stroller, Fed Formula because you think that it is better than Breastmilk. I dont care if you had an Elective C-Section, Vaccinated right on Schedule or Eat at McDonalds every other week. I honestly do not care nor wish to change your mind if you are happy for all the decisions that you have made while rearing your young child. Honestly.

It does not affect me or my family.

I can say that with my hand on my heart. We are all different people who do things for different reasons, I don't judge you, and you don't judge me....right?

Wait...well maybe I do judge...because there is ONE thing...one itty bitty thing that makes me want to run up to another parent and slap them accross the face with thier own childs hand....you want to know what it is?? Something that DOES affect me and my family....

RESPECT!

I have been to MANY MANY a playground this summer, at all times of the day and I have noticed (and so have my kids) a growing populace of young tweens (8-15 yrs of age) at the playground alone (and you Free Rangers would LOVE this), but its not all make believe and fun play.

Its blatent, hurtful, un called for Bullying.

"I am going to kill you if you touch the swing"

"I am going to hit you if you go on the slide"

"EWWW! You kissed your brother! You are GAY!"

"I don't like you"

"I am not going to play with you"

Screaming, "Its our Ball, Get OVER it!!" to a 3 year old....

and then when confronted, by this overzealous sanctimommy, "That is RUDE. You will NOT talk to my children in that manner." I get, sheepish, "sorrys" and "I was only jokings"

So moms. There it is.

Teach your kid some RESPECT and all will be right with the world.

Pass the Vegetables Please

My son is a vegetarian. He refuses to eat anything that ever had a heart beat. The rest of our family is about 75 - 80% vegetarian depending on the week. Ever since I had my first son I have been trying to eat more local, sustainable and in season. I have many friends who are vegetarian, vegan and the like, but I have never been able to fully commit myself. (it's the sushi and the lamb).

At first I thought that my son was just an incredibly picky eater. He was only 3 years old. He just didn't like the way chicken tasted...or beef...or lamb...or fish....hmmm. I tried him on Tofu expecting him to turn his nose up at it, I mean even some grown ADULTS turn their nose up to tofu. But no, he gobbled up his whole plate and asked for seconds and thirds!!

I tried to bribe him with chicken nuggets and fish and chips. He wouldn't have any of it. More carrots he would ask, more sweet potatoes, more peas. I finally resigned myself to the fact that my 5 year old can make some decisions all by himself.

He loves Edaname. Can't get enough noodles and loves to eat gnocchi. Veggie Potstickers, spring rolls, and of course peanut butter sandwiches. There isn't too many veggies that he doesn't like apart from mushrooms and black beans.

I used to try and fight it, because lets face it, vegetarian is a better/healthier option...but for a busy mom of 3 sometimes it's easier to get drive thru Swiss Chalet.

Freak of Nature.

When I would go out with my first I would secretly hope that people would look at me and think how cute my baby was. I really did. I loved getting those smiles that people give you when they see you with your first baby. Of course, they could have been secretly thinking, "hahaha! She doesn't know what she is in for!" But, I think for the most part people just like seeing babies.

After I became pregnant with my second, I would hope the same. I would hold my 2/3 year olds hand and then have the baby in my carrier of choice. We would walk and people would say, "oh, what sweet boys you have..." I really enjoyed just going out with the two of them and walking wherever we needed to go, taking our time and being our silly selves.

I didn't think that it would change. As my brood got bigger I thought that people would still give me that smile and say how precious my kids were. They didn't change, so why would I think that the interaction with people would?

But it did. I wrote about it in this post and this post. It were these outings that made me feel like a freak of nature with all of my kids. And the sad thing is that I only have 3. Many people I know have 4 or even more. I dread going out with them. I feel like everyone is looking at me, and maybe it is all in my head, but I can't handle the judgement. I just don't have the confidence to put up with it.

Sometimes I get the nerve to try go out again with all 3 because I need something that can't wait until the husband comes home. But inevitably every time that I do, fate steps in and shows me that I am a fool to think that anything should really go my way.

For example. We went to the grocery store (ahh the grocery store land of judgement galore) and I had both my kids in the "car cart" and the baby in the wrap (tied loosely because he was nursing). The 3 year old started acting out and standing on his seat, I warned him that I was going to buckle him in..he ignored me. So I calmly leaned over and put the strap on...the baby started fussing because he was being compressed by me bending over (but it would take a SECOND to snap the strap and we could go) and all of a sudden this old lady (70's) came over yelling, "HIS HEAD!! HIS HEAD!! YOU ARE SQUISHING THE BABY'S HEAD!!!" and I was...a bit...(it really wasnt that bad.)

Anyway, the WHOLE aisle then decided to look at this freak wearing this long piece of cloth tied to her squishing her baby, and her two other children crying and whining.....I wanted to crawl in a hole...I thanked the lady, said he was fine, and left.

I go to that particular store often, and feel sad that it's things like that which make me afraid to go out.

It's almost like I feel ashamed to have 3 children. When I am around my friends I don't as like I said, many of us have more than one...but when in public and I have one child holding my left hand, and one child holding my right, and then the baby on the front, it just makes me feel uncomfortable.

ps. the picture is from Demi Bella which I am totally ordering from!

Barely Making It? Change it up.

I have talked before how it irritates me when people say "I don't know how you do it" in regards to single parenting 85% of the time. My response is always "Not well!" Today was sure one of those examples!

My lovely sister came over last night to watch my children for me so that I could go on a much needed Moms Night Out. (which I enjoyed immensely) When I came home we decided to stay up and have some girl time. I stayed up WAY too late! 2 am is not okay for moms of 3 kids. I felt sick in the morning. (and I didn't get my latte, so that makes me grouchy as well). She helped me put together some furniture (IKEA), and then went back to her life...and I back to mine.

There is something about lack of sleep and lack of latte that makes children's fighting and whining that much more hard to take, and makes me a much worse parent. I was yelling and screaming and sending kids to their rooms because *I* was having the tantrum.

It's interesting how just that little bit of extra sleep can really change the tone of the day. Also, how when I lose control it just reinforces the behaviours that I don't really like to see in them...but they are just copying the way that I react when I am having a tough go.

Weekends have always been the toughest in any case because being alone with no adult interaction really drains on me. But I have said this before. I really feel that being a parent that tries to be present and aware of my kids feelings etc, sets me up for a little bit more failure because the expectations of my self are much higher than they could be.

I try not to speed through the day because I don't want to rush through their childhood, so I decided instead to sign them both up for a class. It's a sports class right in the middle of the day. So we get out, change the routine and make the day better.

After our class we visited Starbucks and got hot chocolates, and my latte... we then came home and watched a movie together, dinner then bedtime....and the hope that tomorrow will be much better! :)

Reality Check

Did that make you cry? I know I did. With the last couple of weeks being

tougher, with a lack of a husband for the most part (our choice - work),

I have been counting down the hours until the kids go to bed. What this

video reminded me was that I CHOSE to stay at home with my kids to

WATCH them grow up. I only get them for so long before society takes

them away from me.

I sometimes need to be reminded of that fact when I am about to go crazy

over the constant demands of more this and that. It's not a picnic with two

preschool aged boys at home and another baby any day now, but this was

my choice, and I need to own it.

I decided to post this video on my blog so that I would always have it as a

reminder of how precious time is and to absolutely try to live life in the

fullest. Of course we get bogged down by adult responsibility, but

sometimes that phone call or email or facebook status doesn't need to be

answered right away, and so what if you don't answer it at all...they will

call back, email you back, and there is always another day for status

updates.

I want my boys to look back and really enjoy their childhood. They can

say to their spouse, "I had a pretty good childhood, I felt loved and

appreciated." Rather than, "my mom was counting down the hours until

we went to bed."

We just have to remember to take each day as that, a new day, and hug

our love ones close.

A Post on Haiti.

I couldn't continue to watch the coverage about Haiti on the news and the telethon without commenting for a moment.

There are a couple things that I want to mull over...I do want to preface by saying that a good friend of mine's husband is from Haiti and I hope and wish for all of his family to be safe and healthy.

I wanted to talk about the orphans, children and the newborns. This was a country that already had it's share of children that needed adoption, and the disaster just added to that toll. It makes me frustrated that the media thinks that if Canadians adopt these children then their nightmare will end. That is complete ludicrous. These poor children will have post traumatic stress syndrome...and most of them are old enough that this disaster will haunt them forever. Some children saw their parents die in front of them, siblings, friends, loved ones...how is going on an airplane across the world going to help? I mean really, I am not saying that if we adopt these kids that it wont have an impact, far from it...I am just trying to say that they will need major attachment parenting, and psychological help. Imagine being 5 and losing your mom, and then just being flown to another country where you dont speak the language and some stranger trying to "save" you and assimilate you into the culture...it just worries me...for the kids.

I think that the parents that were in the process of adopting will have a better handle on things because they understand why they were adopting in the first place. We all want to help, and I am trying to be as politically correct when I post this, but not ALL people are meant to be adoptive parents, and I question some of the motives of the people wanting to.

My husband and I have always talked about adopting or fostering to adopt, but we want to do it to give another child a step up in life that they may not have had the opportunity to, I wouldnt want to adopt just to be one of the ones that "saved" the children....

The next thing I wanted to rant about was the backlash that aid organizations have been getting when sending formula to newborns in Haiti. Yes, there is not very much clean drinking water. Yes, we need to educate women on breastfeeding and encourage it....but at the same time, sending donated milk seems like a big production. Every child deserves breastmilk, (hopefully their own mothers). Let's just say that the mother passed away, or she is too injured to nurse...perhaps we can take off our Lactivist hats for just a minute and realize that while corrupt (now) formula was created for a reason, and that we should accept the donation from any company (even Nestle) if they are willing to give it. Formula could mean life and death for some of these infants, and to get caught up in semantics at this time of crisis I feel is in poor taste.

I am as much of a breastfeeding promoter as the next person, but I do see the inherent need of formula. Especially in places where it is low income and lack of resources. The cost alone to send pumped milk itself would be outrageous....storage, transit, pasteurization, re-fridgeration...Perhaps this money or milk could be put to better uses. (at this moment).

I just feel that the west is trying to make this better by throwing money at it, by holding up a badge that says "I donated to Haiti" like it is some fad or something, using this horrific crisis as a soap box for some other agenda. We need to help them get on their feet, help with aid, find some of the children's parents, and help them re-build.

Christmas and Kids

I am usually not a fan of family get togethers, as my husband and I are the only ones with children (as we are both the oldest). It's not that our families have any issue with our children, it's that we don't get to sit and chat with everyone, and are constantly trying to keep a handle (literally) on our children.

Christmas however, is considerably better. I think that it may be because the kids are supposed to act like kids. What I mean, is that there are no real expectations on children to act a certain way because Christmas is for children.

Children are expected to be loud, obnoxious, and all around crazy! People like it, laugh, take pictures and on.

This Christmas was great. No expectations, just enjoyment.

I also love the fact that children are what makes Christmas special and magical. That they get so excited over a tiny little toy that you knew they would...you just didnt know HOW excited!!

LOVE watching them open up the paper, ripping it, getting so excited with anticipation.... awesome!

A Fashion Dilemma.

Before I had children I considered myself quite "trendy" and "well put together". It's no secret that I have much of a clothing addiction, but I am finding myself quite literally drowning in clothes. Also, finding myself pregnant again, the 3rd time in 6 years I have this issue with maternity clothes as well.

I am not too sure what I should really do.

I have all of these beautiful dresses and skirts that I used to wear before I had my children and have not worn alot of these for many years, and while some would say to give them away, or sell them, but I really love them and they cost money.

While I know this is partly because I have a bit of a hording problem, but I think its more of a want to go back to that time...a time when I could wear anything beautiful without worrying about baby spit up, poop, or food being thrown at me, or having my clothes used as a napkin or tissue.

I think with kids you just cant wear the nice clothes, especially if you are a SAHM, (stay at home mom). You can't go to a park with a skirt and nice heels.

I think I am whining now, I know the answer is to get rid of the clothes...I just dont want to give them up.