Bad Breastfeeding

When I had my first son I was convinced that it would be super easy to breastfeed. I mean my mom breastfed all of her kids (4 of us) until the age of 2! How hard could it be? Babies are born to be breastfed right??

Well, yes....but it was not that easy. The thing was that I was so over confident that no one realized that I was doing it wrong. My latch was terrible and my son was losing weight, fussy and not thriving. My whole mothering concept was wrapped up in being able to nourish this baby from my breast. If I couldn't do it, then I was not a "real" mom.

I had to supplement for a while and donor milk was so under ground that I had no choice but to formula feed while I pumped day and night and took the maximum dosage of motilium just to get a supply back...and I did. When Keenan was 7 months we were able to do away with formula. He was on solids and my milk made up the rest. I was ecstatic...

BUT. I can see how damaging all that was to my self esteem...all the over obsessing and weighing and crying and thinking I was damaging my son...I went to a couple LLL meetings when I was in the midst of it all and found very supportive help. More help than that of the breastfeeding clinic who told me that I was causing brain damage by refusing to supplement.

I over heard many people talk disparagingly about other women in the LLL, saying that they were militant etc. etc. and my experience was not that way at all.

Fast forward to now. Having now breastfed 3 children, 2 to 2 years old, and the last one going strong at 10 months I bristle at the way that nursing moms talk about formula feeding moms. Online chat rooms, forums, facebook pages, blogs and twitter.

Calling them uneducated, or ignorant, or selfish for "choosing" formula over the better, more superior choice. Laughing and saying, "my breastmilk has no bugs in it!" after a woman found little bugs in her powdered formula. This lactivism that seems to be out of control in the social media world. It doesn't really stop there. Someone will step up and say, "hey, some of this is a little insulting" and then an onslaught of comments ranging from the woman's education to the way she is raising her own child come into question. The woman herself becomes a punching bag for those demonizing formula.

Don't get me wrong, I think breastfeeding is best, but I also think that there are other ways to get your message across than flaming mothers who use formula. Comments saying that because donated milk is readily available that other women can't use any excuse not to use breastmilk.....not taking into account that some women just don't want to use other women's milk. It's not helping. Demonizing Dr.Mercola for creating a more organic, natural formula...it's not helping.

I support breastfeeding moms. I have been to rallies, nurse in's and organized breastfeeding challenges. I nurse in public. I nurse toddlers in public. I smile and thank other women for nursing in public when I see them.

But I also do not walk up to a woman in the mall and tell her that her infant formula is going to cause all these issues with her baby in regards to health, that she is selfish, that she is a bad mom, that she made a horrible, disgusting, choice that her baby never going to forgive her...that isnt okay in real life. Why is that okay on Facebook?

Maybe I do get touchy because breastfeeding wasn't easy for me and that I felt guilty and sick every time I made up a 4 oz bottle of formula. I felt like a failure. I felt like I shouldn't have become a mother. The LAST thing I would have needed would be for some self righteous mom to tell me that I was damaging him. I *knew* that breast is best. But what choice did I really have? We only do as best as we can with the information given to us at the time.

I wish that lactivists would STOP flaming the moms and put your money where your mouth is. Do the research and find a formula company that you can't stand ethically (there are a lot) and boycott them. Write to them. Boycott companies that they support and visa versa. Money; (or lack there of) talks.

An Activist

*Warning Rant to Come*

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. While I love to see what my friends are doing and like to read interesting articles that they share, and connect with clients for business...I can not stand all the so called "activism". Especially when it comes from the AP/Natural Parenting Camp. Do these moms have nothing better to do with their time then to make other moms feel like crap.

One mom went as far to say that it wasn't her that was making people feel guilty for whatever (carseats/breastfeeding/circumcision) because she could not *make* anyone have feelings that they don't already have.

Give me a break!!

Of course you can make people feel bad when you get on the "I am a better parent than you because I birthed my babies in a tub with dolphins, breastfed and coslept until 6 and am still re-facing at age 10." Oh, I didn't include the "I love my son more because I didn't mutilate him" comment.

Get off your high horse.

I actually did have a homebirth, breastfed, and have un-circ'ed boys....but I didn't do it so that I could use them as some sort of trophy in the mommy war. I did it because *I* wanted to.

All I want for women is to feel supported in their choices and to feel empowered when they make a choice. If that choice is to have an elective C-section, to buy formula from Mercola, or to choose to circumcise her OWN son so be it.

Thank goodness that we live in a country where we have the opportunities to make these decisions ourselves. Imagine if we didn't. Or imagine that instead of Car Seat Techs arguing about how long a child needs to rear face, if they got OFF the computer and went down to the hospital or birthing center or MALL in their area and did car seat checks to make sure that they were all installed correctly.

The last point I have to make is that when you become a "fan" on Facebook, it means that you "like" something enough to take the time to click on whatever it is...this doesn't mean that you need to be exposed to doctrine every single day about this cause.

Take breastfeeding for example. Yes, I "like" it...but don't you think I know already about the benefits? I already said that I liked it.

I have to say that I am really grumpy, but I am so tired of the same posts being shared over and over again, by people who have never been on the other side, or who don't really want to.

Do you think that mom who posted about not being able to make people "feel" guilty has ever felt guilty? Or perhaps we should find something that she does feel guilty about and then fill her inbox with those posts over and over and over.

Have some compassion and meet people where they ARE.

Breastfeeding and Divorce

This is a response to this horrible post.

Disclaimer : This is my blog so these are my opinions, just putting it out there.

I get so tired of women blaming children for their lack luster lives. I get it, we all have those days when we just want everyone to go away so that we can do some sort of activity that is just for us. But to blame children for the fall out of a marriage is just cowardly in my opinion, and furthermore to blame breastfeeding is just incredulous.

The thing is unless you were raped you had some say in whether you were going to get pregnant. And guess what, you knew fully well that this wasnt some 5 year gig. Parenting is for life! Get over yourselves. If you didnt want strechmarks, your "fun bags" to sag, the C-section scar or for your va-jay-jay to be disfigured then you should have kept your legs closed. (or gotten you or your partner fixed.) It is you people that make the No Kids people so crazy. Fuel to the fire.

Let me tell you something that may shock you...Breasts are for feeding. *gasp* I could honestly care less if you want to do it under a blanket, in a bathroom or out there for the world to see. Babies tummies are made for breastmilk. Instead of formula we should have milk banks!! It is insane that women feel burdened by society or judged that they are guilted into breastfeeding....they are for feeding!! Why on earth does milk squirt out of them if not for a child to get some comfort and sustenance? (and formula feeding moms dont start harping on me...if you couldnt nurse it was because you were abandoned by society, and were not given the right tools to nurse. I KNOW I have been there!) And if you don't want to nurse, DONT. Why the heck would a baby want you to resent him everytime you have to feed him? But OWN it and say, it's because *I* didnt want to...and then get on with your life. Stop trying to persuade others to follow suit.

But to say that Breastfeeding is Creepy, or to say that it destroyed a marriage is a piece of crap. Breastfeeding is NORMAL. Whats creepy is that a man would be placed in front of his children. That HIS needs are more important than that of a helpless newborn.

Let me tell you something ladies...there is this thing called a Gigi. Get one for him. He can use his hands and a tissue. And another thing, if a man thinks that his needs should be placed before his baby's maybe, just maybe this man isnt worth the ring? Just a thought....

There are all these articles going around about how children, and breastfeeding are oppressing women and that we can have it all. I am just gonna say it. We CAN'T. Or as a wise wise woman said to me, "We *can* have it all, just not all at once." What causes divorce rates in this country is the thought that we shouldnt have to compromise. Guess what? You do. You can not have your cake and eat it too.

We ALL make decisions that forever change the course of our lives. There are some of us that say, yes. I made that decision and so now I am paying for it, but it isnt the child's fault....it's yours. So grow up.

No regrets ladies...live your life with no regrets.

No Ideas, Just Anger.

I lost it today. Completely and totally. It could be that 9 days without a husband is my limit, or just that I am sick and tired of arguing with K for everything. (could be the 32 weeks preggo too). I am just at my limit, and this child and I are not going to have a very good relationship if it continues the way it has been going. I posted about "Listening" but really I should have said all out "Ignoring" or "Defiance". I have tried all of the gentle discipline I can, reasoned, negotiated, screamed, yelled, cried, stomped my own feet, shut my self in a room..it goes on and on. I am *trying* to respect him. To treat him like an adult, but I am slowly realizing that most of this is just BS and no amount of respect for him is going to make his reciprocate. Where is the respect for ME? I always said that my children would never yell or hit me, and guess what...they do. I spend all day long arguing with an almost 5 year old, and you know what I don't like him. I pretty much have hit rock bottom, and unless someone can show me the holy grail of this is what Attachment Parenting does when they are older, I am really falling from believing it. He is not respectful, he is un-grateful, rude, right now he is up stairs throwing his toys because I told him that he needs to start picking them up, he whines all day long, and picks on his brother and laughs about it. I follow every fricken tenet that Sears, Neufield, Kohn, and Faber and Malish talk about and it's not working. And I swear to god if the he needs to go outside and burn off energy for 90 mins a day comes up I will scream. You need to GET him to go outside before that happens. So, anyone want to just commiserate and say, Yea, my kid is like that?

The Paramedic's Wife.

My husband is a paramedic. He is not an "ambulance driver", he does not just do first aid or CPR. He doesn't just drive people to appointments or to the hospital. He is not a taxi service. He is not paid as a professional driver.

He wears a bullet proof vest to work because sometimes he needs to help people who have been in violent situations, and the person receiving the help may have their attacker near by, not wanting them to survive.

He can get attacked by dogs, wives and husbands who are angry and violent, by people so messed out of their minds that they don't know what they are doing.

He saves lives. He has saved many many lives. Sometimes I wonder if he should. (from an ethical and religious point of view...who is he to decide whether someone lives or dies?) He has saved the same people many times in a row because they want to die.

It frustrates me that he doesn't get the acknowledgement and respect that he deserves. It frustrates me that the unions can't band together like fire-fighters, cops, or nurses. It frustrates me that the wives and husbands of paramedics don't bond together and commiserate or build community.

It frustrates me that he has seen so many bad things done to people by other people so that he loses a little empathy for man kind. He has lost his feeling that people are inherently good.

It frustrates me that we spent 4 years to get his education, went over 20K in debt (just to survive while he got his education) and have burnout after 6 years to show for it. Also, that his education, while 4 years long does not count as a degree.

It frustrates me that paramedics are such a vital part of the health care system and never get a thank-you, a card or some flowers.

It frustrates me that he works long hours away from home dealing with people who abuse the system.

It frustrates me that people think that he is less than he is, or that he sits on his ass playing video games between calls and that is why he should have to try and raise a family on $14 -35 / hr....and not a penny more. EVER.

It frustrates me that this still bothers me after 6 years.

I hope that one day we can finally leave the field of EMS behind us forever.

C-Sections vs. The Zodiac

I am the Vice President of a Birthing Advocacy group and so I have some strong opinions on the way that women are treated in the birthing room.

I have many issues with the way that women are induced, and how interventionist our society has become when it comes to a birth. Women are not machines, and birth is not a formula, it's different for everyone....

Anyway, this post is not to go on and on about my beliefs that are backed by science, this post is to talk about why (in my nut bar way) I am opposed to elective c-sections.

The bottom line for me is that we humans don't get to choose everything about our babies...we don't get to choose the gender, we don't get to choose the colour of hair, skin, or eyes, we don't get to choose the weight, the child's personality, intelligence and the like....so why do we get to choose a birthday?

I am one of those freaks that believes in the zodiac. I am a Gemini through and through. So it bothers me when doctors want to induce a woman, or schedule a c-section before the baby is ready...now don't start flaming me about the necessity of c-sections. I absolutely believe that there is a time and a place for them, and my dislike for the choice of date really doesnt matter if they are before or after the mid-month (when the sign changes). However, if your doctor says, I have an opening on the 20th or the 23rd...do they or you really have a choice to what sign your child is born under? Do you even think about that? I don't think many people do.

Maybe I am a complete freak for even thinking about it, but I do....I would hope that when at all possible that a woman be allowed to START her labour and then if a C-section is needed we already know what sign the child was to be born under. I mean, does it really matter if she has a couple contractions? (if anything those contractions will help with milk production later).

A Rut.

You know when you can see the end goal and know how to get there, but just can't seem to make it in a timely manner? That is how I feel at this moment...I am stuck in this rut.

Now, I warn you that I am going to bitch about finances for a moment, which is probably faux-pas but that is all I think about at the moment...or at least it is at the forefront of my mind.

I used to go to school, and I couldnt afford this school, so I got my mommy to co-sign a loan for me so I could go. I, in the meantime (last year of school) got preggo (totally planned) and stopped going to school full time. So, said loan, came into repayment.

Not a bad thing entirely. We also got the Child Tax Benefit and that was automatically placed into the account paying the loan.

Fast forward to last year, and for some reason the govt started sending cheques rather than putting it into said acct. So the loan goes into arrears, by quite a bit, before we are any the wiser that this has happened.

Now, to today. We are still in arrears about $200. Not a lot of money I know, but to just throw $200 at a loan when you are living off of one income and trying to pay for food is just not happening. Of course the bank doesnt care that we pay them $400 a month to try get caught up to this stupid loan.

I wish that everything wasnt so black and white and that they would just back off a little because we do pay every single month. The min. payment is $140 and we pay $400...and yes, it is still in arrears, but come on...we pay in good faith.

My dream will be realized when I can move this loan out of the institution it is in and put it somewhere else, close all my accounts and never ever use them again.

A Post on Haiti.

I couldn't continue to watch the coverage about Haiti on the news and the telethon without commenting for a moment.

There are a couple things that I want to mull over...I do want to preface by saying that a good friend of mine's husband is from Haiti and I hope and wish for all of his family to be safe and healthy.

I wanted to talk about the orphans, children and the newborns. This was a country that already had it's share of children that needed adoption, and the disaster just added to that toll. It makes me frustrated that the media thinks that if Canadians adopt these children then their nightmare will end. That is complete ludicrous. These poor children will have post traumatic stress syndrome...and most of them are old enough that this disaster will haunt them forever. Some children saw their parents die in front of them, siblings, friends, loved ones...how is going on an airplane across the world going to help? I mean really, I am not saying that if we adopt these kids that it wont have an impact, far from it...I am just trying to say that they will need major attachment parenting, and psychological help. Imagine being 5 and losing your mom, and then just being flown to another country where you dont speak the language and some stranger trying to "save" you and assimilate you into the culture...it just worries me...for the kids.

I think that the parents that were in the process of adopting will have a better handle on things because they understand why they were adopting in the first place. We all want to help, and I am trying to be as politically correct when I post this, but not ALL people are meant to be adoptive parents, and I question some of the motives of the people wanting to.

My husband and I have always talked about adopting or fostering to adopt, but we want to do it to give another child a step up in life that they may not have had the opportunity to, I wouldnt want to adopt just to be one of the ones that "saved" the children....

The next thing I wanted to rant about was the backlash that aid organizations have been getting when sending formula to newborns in Haiti. Yes, there is not very much clean drinking water. Yes, we need to educate women on breastfeeding and encourage it....but at the same time, sending donated milk seems like a big production. Every child deserves breastmilk, (hopefully their own mothers). Let's just say that the mother passed away, or she is too injured to nurse...perhaps we can take off our Lactivist hats for just a minute and realize that while corrupt (now) formula was created for a reason, and that we should accept the donation from any company (even Nestle) if they are willing to give it. Formula could mean life and death for some of these infants, and to get caught up in semantics at this time of crisis I feel is in poor taste.

I am as much of a breastfeeding promoter as the next person, but I do see the inherent need of formula. Especially in places where it is low income and lack of resources. The cost alone to send pumped milk itself would be outrageous....storage, transit, pasteurization, re-fridgeration...Perhaps this money or milk could be put to better uses. (at this moment).

I just feel that the west is trying to make this better by throwing money at it, by holding up a badge that says "I donated to Haiti" like it is some fad or something, using this horrific crisis as a soap box for some other agenda. We need to help them get on their feet, help with aid, find some of the children's parents, and help them re-build.

Winter Jackets and Carseats.

I live in Canada. Guess what? Baby it is *cold* outside! Recently I have been noticing posts from mothers, blogs, facebook etc. that talk about the dangers of having your child wearing a coat in the winter in the car.

I get it, the jacket is bulky and gets in the way of the seat functioning properly. So the solution is to A) no jacket, B) poncho (polar fleece), C) the car-seat trick (which is still debatable between car seat techs) Here is a thread off CarSeat.org

I guess I am super jaded having an emergency worker living in my house...I think that we can take all the precautions that we could possibly take and it's still not a guarantee that anything will be any better.

If you think about the amount of people that have died in cars over the years by drunk drivers, and the amount of drunk drivers that walk away with out a scratch after being ejected out of their cars it's really incredible. Sad really.

So instead of condemning mothers for using carseats with winter jackets, or thinking that they are knowingly putting their child at harm...maybe just maybe, the car seat tech should sit her ass down outside in -37 Celsius with a wind chill and wait for 15 - 20 mins....I mean if you were to get into an accident and rendered unconscious, how fast do you think the medics are going to get there?? And if your accident was bad enough that you are unconscious do you think you have heaters, and windows protecting your self and kids from the elements...and how fast does a child get hypothermia...

I am not saying we shouldnt be informed, but one size does not fit all and we really can only do the best that WE can.

I mean, I wasnt even in a car seat growing up.....thats progress isnt it?

Complete Lack of Motivation

I have stuff to do today, lots of stuff. Laundry, cleaning my kitchen, finishing my bedroom, sorting through more clothes, dishes, a shower, and it goes on....

My issue is this complete and utter lack of motivation. All I am doing is looking at Blog lists, refreshing on Facebook, and checking my email...again and again.

Why? Why am I so unmotivated?

Pregnancy could be a factor, but I slept pretty well last night. Going outside is a huge factor, as I hate the snowy cold wintertime...esp. when it is -30c. Maybe that I am nice and warm in my own house is an issue too....

I am also thinking that it could be the fact that I am reading that Mama Renew book and it is making me drudge up all these emotions and it emotionally drains me. Also, with the other "stress" going on with my life that I just can't seem to let go of.

I was really hoping that my friend would call me yesterday so that I could let go of the AP group for good.

I have re-joined the Mothering dot Commune, which I used to frequent very regularly before becoming a moderator, and with talks of my husband and I relocating, maybe its better that I give myself some space from my community. I just don't feel that it is giving me what *I* need. I don't feel like it is *my* tribe anymore.

I don't really know any of the new people that post on a regular basis, and a lot of the questions are really redundant...I guess that is what happens when you are pregnant with your 3rd baby...sleep, and eating is just something you do.

I would rather spend my time getting more education or writing articles or something that feeds my soul.

Lots to think about anyway.

A Matter of Opinion.

I have been butting heads politically the last couple of days, I kind of find it humorous because "pre-kids" I wanted to be a politician. lol. Thank god that my children saved me from that! Anyway, the other funny thing is that it is friend politics and mommy group politics, so politics of the worst kind!! :)

I was trying to explain to a couple people that a respect of legacy is always to be followed when starting a new project, not that one thinks that they need a pat on the back, but a simple "we appreciate what you have done" should always be in order...or that is what I think anyway.

While discussing my viewpoints with another person (who is also a good friend, so this sucks) she said that "You are only one person, and you have opinions, but not everyone has the same opinions." Which is completely true. I do only have my own opinions, and you know what I could really really do without rocking the boat. I am a pretty easy going person and am quite easily satisfied, however, when people come to me and tell me what they are feeling I feel (maybe wrongly) that I should bring it up so that we can be more open and harmonious. So, while people *think* my opinion is my own, it isnt. Not at all. Especially not in the area in question.

The other thing that I wanted to point out, was that yes I have my own opinion, but the same can be said of this person...it is her opinion that my opinion doesnt have any merit. Again, while this may urk me, it doesn't really matter at my core whether or not she agrees with me, because I think that all people have a right to their own opinions, and the world would be super boring if we all agreed on the same thing. (and even best friends have difference of opinion.)

My issue is that she was alluding to the fact that the only people whose opinions matter are those that actively participate in the mommy group via the chat boards, or the in person playgroup. That is where I actually have the issue.

Some people do not participate because it does not give them what they need or what they are searching for. This does not mean that they need to be discounted, far from it. If you are not meeting the needs of all your constituents, then perhaps you should take a survey, figure why not, and fix it. Do not assume that they will just find something new, or a different tribe or something else.

It's kind of like the Birthing organization that I belong to; we learned that the vast number of women who were looking to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after C-section) were feeling unsupported by all levels...we did not assume that they would find a different magazine, or a different organization...we changed our policy to include more VBAC friendly stories and articles, because our mandate is to provide information to all women for an empowered birth.

Same should go with a parenting group who practices "attachment parenting" > which I learn more often than not that the principles that we hold dear and want to instill in our kids, we never ever treat other adults with the same principles.

Women.

I am so tired of the politics that happen with women. So tired. I dont understand why everything has to be such a flipping production. I am actually glad that women are not the leaders of the free world because I think we would spend WAY too long arguing with eachother and not accomplishing anything.

the thing is that every little comment and nuance is examined and over examined and hardly anyone takes anything at face value...or just what it is, and offhanded comment.

Like really, who the heck cares about whatever it is that you do..personally, professionally, with your kids, with your pets, your political views, etc. Why can't we just share information and get on with it.

I just hate having to justify myself over and over and over.

I am just feeling like I am bashing my head on a wall over and over, and am so grumpy....maybe it's just the pregnancy.

Clarity.

For a long while I have been a part of an Attachment Parenting group. I have posted about it often. Maybe too often...

As I get older, or more experienced in my parenting I have come to realize that it isnt an US vs. THEM type of universe when parenting.

I admit it, I could not stand to hear about parents sleep training their kids and yes, I judged them harshly...too harshly. I somehow had to make myself *better* than these parents...and I mean, wasn't AP'ing so much harder? Didnt that make you the more committed parent? Parenting through the night as well as the day....

Anyway, I have really come to realize in the last little while that these other parents have much more to offer me than I had once thought. For one, they dont make me feel guilty for not spending every waking moment with my child, for feeding him a hot dog, or for losing my cool once in a while. Of course I am not saying that every AP mom makes me feel that way too...I am just saying that certain "baby experts" lead you to believe that if you breastfeed until they self wean, co-sleep until they decide to leave the family bed, and feed them all organic that you will have the perfect little children. And if not, you failed.

I am here to call Bullshit. First off there is this little thing called Nurture vs. Nature. No amount of AP'ing is going to make a HUGE difference on your child, especially if you are responsive to your child, but understand that BALANCE is key. You can be respectful to your child and foster a healthy relationship without following all those "baby b's " or referring to your self as an "attachment parent".

While I am at it, the whole concept of the "attachment parent" leads us to failure...who is someone who isnt? an "detachment parent"? What does that say? What kind of message is that?

We need to be respected for all of our parenting choices and to be able to say, "hey I do that different, and its okay". I really think that we would have more of a village if that sort of thing happened more often, and we didnt play into these "experts" ideas of how it is to parent.

I will be the first to say that I make mistakes and I dont have a clue what I am doing most days, and most of the time I am just learning as I go. But, every single day I learn something new and I am open to change and all I want is for my kids to say when they are 20 years old, that they do not have a question in their mind that they were loved by their parents and that they were treated with respect and therefore they will treat others with respect. Label or no label.

Stop the insanity!!!

Sometimes I wonder. What are people thinking. Well as you can tell from the subject on my blog, it is really just me surfing the web finding articles that piss me off and then sharing them with all of you.
As a fan of Shalom in the Home on TLC I was suprised when I read the following article, where Rabbi Schmuli has issues with people breastfeeding to *GASP* 11 months old, whereas the womans breasts are "de-eroticized" and marrigaes suffer for it. http://www.beliefnet.com/story/194/story_19451_1.html
His solution, cover up. Even at home. Where do we live? Canada, America? And we liberated women can not even feed our children from our breasts because our hubby's will be less likely to have a stiffy?
Give me a break! A man should be so lucky to have a wife that cares about his child so much that she sacrifices her time and body for the betterment of her child.
Oh and men, while we are at it, make sure that you are present at the birth of your child, just don't look down. Because as you know the vagina was created soley for your pleasure and seeing your child emerge from there won't make you want to have sex with your wife.
Better yet, convince her to have a c-section!! Yea that's it, an elective c-section will make sure that she has trouble producing milk, so you can bottle feed and don't have to share *your* breasts with your child, and the baby doesn't even come through the vagina, so you won't EVER have to worry about throwing the proverbial hotdog down that hallway!
Thank you Rabbi Shumuli! I am so happy to finally understand what my purpose in life is, to be my husbands sexual plaything no better than an oversized eroticized blow up doll.

The 100th Post!!

http://ikea.shoplocal.com/ikea/default.aspx?action=browsepageflash
&pretailerid=-98652&siteid=713&promotioncode=IKEA-060723&page
number=1&storeid=2499966

I was so excited to see the family bed normalized in Ikea's new catelogue. Go to the link above and click on page 205. How cool is that? Although I do realize that these children are older than toddlers and infants, the fact is that they are sleeping *with* their parents. What else eould you expect from a european company?

We are so backwards here in North America.

Speaking of which, no idea what to say about these, below

http://www.pregnancystore.com/zaky.htm

At first my gut reaction was "EWW" "GROSS" and "The next level of detachment parenting, maybe some of my friends could use these."
And then I saw that they are marketed for preemies. I am all up for anything helping little preemies along. But what about Kangaroo care? (When the parent/baby has skin to skin contact) The website says when baby's are unable to be touched. When would they be unable to be touched?
I think that if Keenan was in the NICU and was fading fast and they said that if I rouched him he may die, and he may die anyway, I think I would tell them to "go where the sun don't shine" and hold my baby boy.
I may be wrong, but I think that real touch is the most important thing for healing.

Check out the link and form your own opinion. If they are for babies who can't be touched, why can a peice of cloth still touch them? Isn't that "touching"?

A Product for Every Stage

http://www.walkingwings.com/
I was browsing the net as I do when I am procrastinating and I came upon the above site. These are a walking aid for your child. Instead of holding thier little hands and walking with them, you strap this contraption on and hold the "reins". Now, I don't want to say that this is a horrible invention, because I have not used it, but I will say, Are we that lazy as a society that we no longer stoop down to our child level to help them learn to walk? What is so hard about holding thier hands?
This is yet another peice of equipment that seperates us from our children.
I like to hold my sons hands while he teeters this way and that. It's fun, it's bonding time. I just think that more and more parents can't be bothered with holding on to thier children, car seats used as carring devices, strollers (the stroller is nesissary sometimes), bumbo seats, bouncy chairs, excersaucers, jolly jumpers, etc. etc.
Now I am not saying that you can't own any of these things to be a good parent, because I own quite a few of them, I am just saying use them in moderation and for goodness sakes "pick your child up once in a while!!"

Boring Children?!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?
in_article_id=397672&in_page_id=1879&ico=Homepage&icl=TabModule&icc=FEMAIL&ct=5

The above article just pissed me off.
One excerpt :
"Many of my friends — fortysomething, university-educated
professionals who swore that they would be normal parents — make it a
policy now that 'our kids go where we go'. They drag their
three-year-olds to dinner parties where the youngsters end up in front
of a video all night. (I have seen children having tantrums in front
of guests, and rather than send the children to their rooms, the
parents send their guests home.)"

I HATE women who have to have a checklist in thier lives. First
Graduate Highschool, check. College, check. Husband, Check. Career,
Check. House, Check. Children, well I can wait on that. And then when
they get the urge to "check" that off they are well into thier late
30's mid 40's and don't want to sacrifice anything for thier children.
I am NOT saying that if you are an older mom you automatically fall
into this category. I am just saying that most of the nonAP's moms I
have met are like this.

Second excerpt:
"And yet many women have spent years studying and then working so that
we would not have to do a job as menial as full-time motherhood. I
consider spending up to 30 hours a week sitting behind the wheel of a
4x4, dropping children off at play centres or school, to be a
less-than-satisfactory reward for all those years of sweat."

I take SUCH offense to this. All I wanted to do with my life was to
have children and to stay at home with them. I don't think that any
other job is as imporant than that. I find having children for me is a
calling. And yes, I can get bored, but you can get bored doing
anything. But I don't take that boredom out on Keenan. And I sure as
H-E-double hockey stick don't think that saying at home is menial.
Someone should take this poor kids away from her. Selfish you-know-what.

I agree that life needs to be balanced and that you have to do what
works for you and your family. But I also dont think that children are
accessories and to be ignored until the parents feel the need to
engage them. She justifies her actions by saying how independant and
creative her kids are, and that is fine, anything to make her feel
better, BUT when these kids are older and are messed up with thier
personal relationships and psychological well being, they have no one
to thank for that except thier mother. And when they put her in a home
to Rot, she won't beable to say"why dont my kids ever visit or take
care of me?" Because being with you is BORING and menial mom!"