Tips and Tricks for Amusement Park Fun!!

I will be honest. I am not a huge fan of taking my kids into the public. I get overwhelmed really easily and need a couple days before-hand to psych myself up so to speak. So when my cousin offered to come with me to Calaway Park I was excited at the prospect of having another person who had to care about my kids well being come with me. (you know family ties and all.)

I was pleasantly surprised that we had a great day! The only difficult part was getting out of the city through 4 different construction zones and detours, but once we got there the kids had a great time! I am disappointed that I didn't go earlier.

Here are some tips that I found made the trip that much better.

1. Dress for the Weather. (and for the weather that *might* be)

Calgary is notorious for changing weather. A popular saying here is "Don't like the weather? Wait 10 mins." It was a beautiful sunny summer day and so I dressed my kids in shorts, runners (as sandals will fly off on the rides), t-shirts and a light hoodie, hats and sunglasses of course. They stripped the hoodies off half way through. Bring sunscreen.

My 4 year old taking a break.

2. Bring a stroller or a wagon *and* a carrier.

I am not a huge fan of lugging my big bulky stroller to places - but when visiting Calaway or the Zoo it is a must. The kids left their sunglasses and hats in the bucket when we went on rides, and we were able to switch between the carrier and a stroller ride when the 2 year old got antsy waiting in all the lines. Also the stroller provides a little bit of shade and reprieve for tired little legs so it was a win all around. I did take my Kinderpack with us, and the two year old was on my back for a lot of the day since he was too little to go on rides, so the stroller was mostly utilized by my cousins almost 3 year old daughter and my 4 year old. That was until the 4 year old was feeling really tired and cranky and up he went on my back to get a cuddle and a re-charge.

3. Write your cell number on your kids' arm with a sharpie.

People were kinda looking at us a little weird as we were writing our phone numbers on children's arms…but Calaway doesn't actually have a lost kids tent, and it can be incredibly busy. Also when the children exit from a ride it can sometimes be a challenge to get to them quickly and grab them before they start to walk away. By having your phone number right on their arm, other patrons and staff can quickly locate you. We were happy not to have experience a lost child, but you can never be too careful.

4. Mark up the map.

Circles added by me.

Since all of the children that we were with were under the age of 7, we found it difficult to find the rides that all of the kids could ride on. We would go to a ride and all line up next to the measuring thing and find out that one or two of the kids couldn't go…so we would walk for a bit to find another one. Calaway doesn't have all the little kid rides in one spot as one would assume, so you really have to look at your map. What helped us greatly was going through the map to the list of all the rides that were for children under a certain height and then I marked them on the actual map so that when we would walk by a ride we could just look at the map and see if it was going to be one that the kids could ride. (this cut waiting times in half.)



5. Bring realistic expectations.

Waiting is hard for anyone, but it is even harder for children. Think of games like "I spy" or sing songs while waiting in line to make the time go faster. Know your own child's limitations…some line ups are just too long for a 2 or 3 year old, skip them and save you and your child from undue stress. Understand that they do not know why you are waiting and that they have really short attention spans. Also, be considerate to the others in line - but don't expect that your child will be an angel - Calaway park is for kids and people have to understand that sometimes children have tantrums when they are hot, tired and hungry.

6. Bring a lunch.

Lunch of hummus sandwiches and fruit. (goldfishes for L)

While carnival food is fun, none of it is healthy and the line ups alone can take 40 mins to get a hot dog (as my cousin experienced) There are picnic tables all over the park and most are in the shade. We spotted one next to the Driving School ride and the kids re-fueled. My son also has allergies so knowing where his food comes from makes sure that we wont have to visit the bathroom too much when wanting to have fun instead! Save that money for cotton candy!!



7. Water is a must!

Who doesn't love the boat ride?

Bring your reusable water bottles for you and your kids. Walking around the grounds on a hot day (with little to no shade) can make for dehydrated kids. There ARE water fountains located next to the bathrooms so it will be easy for you to re-fill as needed. OR you could spend upwards of $2.50 on one bottle of Dasani.

8. Games for young and old! 

My son loves to play games so when he walked into the park and saw all the carnival games he was in heaven. Make a budget for games (most are $5 a play) and explain to your kids that some of the games are not easy. (even though they look it). My son played two games; ring toss and a fishing game. He did not win anything and was upset. Next time I will make sure that we choose the games that are a guaranteed win. (ask people who have the stuffies which games they found to be the easiest)

9. Treats to end a wonderful day.

Still an incredible amount of sugar! 

Even though we eat very healthy I do allow my kids to choose one treat on special outings. My kids had never had cotton candy and when they saw all these other children walking around with them they decided that is what they wanted. (maybe it was also because I don't allow fake blue food and they knew I already said it was okay…)
One bag is huge and no child really needs that much sugar (treat or no) and so I asked the vendor for two more bags and split the cotton candy into 3 different bags. One for each child. (and amount based on age). The vendors have no problem giving you extra bags and this is a trick that I use often at places like Booster Juice as well.
I bought myself one of the salted pretzels which took me right back to my childhood…if you have never had one I would suggest you try it next time!

10. A final thought on babies... 

Boring!!

One last suggestion is to maybe not bring children under the age of two as they mostly have to wait in the stroller or wrap for the whole day and that isn't too fun for them - but if you don't mind waiting on the sidelines with them it will still be a great day full of fun for the whole family!








We had a great time and the kids want to go back and try some bigger rides now that they have their toes wet. Don't forget your camera! These days are fleeting and it is always nice to have some digital memories.

Favourite ride!

Their favourite ride! 

Get out there!! Do you have any tips that I may have missed? Share in comments below!

Review - The Wok Box

One of the biggest challenges with changing our eating habits as a family is eating out.

We love to eat out and try new things, and honestly sometimes my husband and I are so lazy that we enjoy food that is already made. Before becoming vegetarian we ate out at least twice a week…at least.

We have now been vegetarian for a little over 6 months… We have saved a ton of money by not buying meat and by not eating out..but we really miss the fun and ease of it.

The thing with us is that there are still plenty of "vegetarian" options at fast food and restaurants but, and it is a BIG but, my oldest son and myself have a dairy allergy; so anything with cheese it out…and we all know how many veggie burgers have cheese on them - almost ALL of them.

This is why I was so happy when we found Wok Box. We had driven past it a million times but never went in. When we went for the first time we saw that there was Asian and South Asian cuisine - but the menu was a little hard to figure out and so we basically ordered vegetables, teriyaki sauce, and noodles…for everyone.

The Restaurant

On our last visit the menu has changed for the better.

The Menu & Open Kitchen

You can now choose any of the dishes, ANY of them, with noodles or rice and then choose any protein. They even have Tofu!!! This is huge deal! For those of you who don't understand vegetarian/veganism, tofu is not readily available in most places. I have actually only found it in organic grocery stores "to go" items - and a couple Thai places. So to have it as an option to add to any dish is awesome!

The Singapore Cashew (used to be chicken) with Tofu!!!

If you add a fountain pop with a samosa or spring roll (both vegetarian) and you can combo it to make it a little cheaper. (kids meals come with orange or apple juice boxes)

I am so impressed that we will probably make the Wok Box our go to place when we are looking for "faster food". The best part is that it is still pretty healthy (minus the pop), with vegetables, sprouts, sauces, rice or noodles, and tofu or nuts.

The kids devouring the "Jungle Noodles" with veggies & teriyaki sauce with tofu thrown in (no charge)

Green Dragon Booth

The kids love the noodles, they get hidden veggies and protein and that is a bonus for me. They love that all the booths have different coloured dragons above each one. (the green dragon booth is a favourite). My middle child also loved that there was a stool (and a change table) in the bathroom so he could reach to wash the sauce off his hands.

The only downside is that it is just as expensive as any medium range restaurant - we paid close to $50.00 for all 5 of us - so $10 a person - which isn't bad - but most fast food comes to $30 for our family.

I also disliked that it was either booths or tables but no highchairs anywhere to be seen. My littlest is 2 and so standing on a bench eating noodles (stringy noodles at that) makes for one heck of a mess to clean up. (and yes, I do clean up those messes - I used to be a server.)

And really, how cute is this? 

The best part is that they serve the kids meals in these little to go boxes that you can clean out afterwards. My kids put their special "car toys" in them as a carry case. 

All in all it is a really great place. The one by us is walking distance and the atmosphere is sophisticated, yet kid friendly. I would rate it as a 9/10 - and only because of the highchairs.

Standing by His Side

Tomorrow my man runs his first triathalon. I am so proud. I know this sounds super cheesy - and you know what maybe it is - but I am.
He has lost over 20lbs, looks great, eats great and is in the best shape of his life. He is a great role model to our boys and to me as well.
Here is his blog where he talks about all that he has gone through.
I can't wait to see him cross that line.

Don't Fear the White Coat.

We all have those moments when you feel like you should win mommy of the year. Well at least I do, but it seems to happen more in my house than in other peoples houses.
Anyway, last week I would have definitely been in the running.

Offending Product. :P

I was outside lawnmowering (is that a word) as I wanted to help out my husband and our lawn looked like crap - and here in suburbia that is just not okay.
So there I am working this 100 year old gas powered lawnmower.
My eldest son (7) comes outside with freezies. He screams, "CAN I HAVE ONE?"
"NO" I yell back. (not wanting to turn off the mower for fear that it won't start up again).
"WHAT?!" he yells.
"AFTER I AM DONE!!!" I yell back.
He disappears into the house and comes back out with an open freezie.
I think to myself, "little (you know what). Oh well, at least he probably opened them for his brothers too, and this will keep them all quiet." I continue to push the mower through my 10 inch grass.

Next thing I know I see my littlest one (2) come out side and he has what looks to be berry juice on his hand…but he is crying and holding it up…so I am confused and think, "what the heck is that?!" turn off the mower and sprint to the baby. I look at his hand and try to contain the vomit in my mouth - his finger is cut so deep that you can see the fat and muscle inside. INSIDE his finger.
I grab him and run to the bathroom to wash it off and put pressure on it - but I know in my gut that this is going to need medical attention.

I scream to locate my other two children who have miraculously disappeared for the moment. No answer. I scream again. The eldest shows up and I start yelling about the baby - he starts to wail, "It was my fault. I should have been watching him…" As I try to convince the oldest that no, it is in fact mommy's fault and try to figure out what happened while still screaming for the middle child - I start to think how am I going to get all these kids to emerg and WHAT are we going to do for 8 hrs.
The middle child shows up. (4yrs). "What happened to E?" I ask. "I stabbed him." R repiles…and looks at me with this grin that only a sociopath can make. "WHAT?!?" I yell. I then start to yell obscenities to anyone within earshot - possibly scarring my children for years to come and send them to their rooms so that I do not do any more emotional damage.

I text my husband - "You need to come home NOW. We have to go to the hospital."
So I take the baby and sit on the front step ready to go to the hospital.
My husband arrives 5 mins later.
"What happened?" He asks.
"R said he stabbed him." I wail, "Look at his finger!!"
My husband (the firemedic) looks casually at his finger and goes, "ah ya, those will need stitches. I will get the kids ready." and calmly walks in the door.
He appears 5 mins later with both boys ready to go and says to me, "They found the knife on the floor, a pairing knife, (used to cut open freezies) and R held the plastic end and E grabbed the cutting edge and E lost that fight."
Enter the mommy guilt. Of course I was already feeling it - but if I had just cut open the damn freezies…. and then my husband goes, "What were you doing?"
I reply, "Lawnmowering."
He replies, "The grass is wet… you don't use the lawnmower when the grass is wet… that is why is isn't done."
So not only did my "helpfulness" lead to a mortal wound of my child's finger - it was also unnecessary.

Nice.

Poor Guy

We went to the ER and he had 3 stitches put in. My competence as a parent was only questioned momentarily until they realized that I had 3 small boys and then they pitied me.
The actual stitching was the most traumatic part as they had to swaddle him and hold him down. They do a topical but babies don't realize that they can't feel it and so he screamed and screamed. (that was enough for me to lock my knives away forever.

I wanted the boys to watch, to see what happens when you don't listen to your mom…but the doctor refused and said that it was way too traumatic. In hindsight I am glad that she refused me - because it probably would have been, I just didn't want my boys to think that any of this was "cool" in any way.

However, E is pretty proud of his scar.

Ahhhh….Preschoolers

I was talking on the phone with my cousin today and she demanded that I blog about what happened today and so without further adieu…..

My son is having trouble at his preschool. He isn't really the "sit down and listen" type… he is more of the "you told me what to do and now I am going to do the exact opposite" type; so needless to say this year of preschool has not gone by without its share of challenges.

He was assessed the other day with some learning challenges as the teachers would like him to have an aide who can basically hold his hand the whole day so that he *must* do what the other children are doing - or so that is my understanding…I am not really sure how I feel about this, so I decided that maybe I would shop around and see what other preschools have to offer.

There is this great community run - reggio - program that is close to my oldest son's school. I decided to give them a shot in the dark and see if maybe they had spaces left and by a stroke of luck they actually did! I made an appointment to take my middle child and go and check this school out for myself.

We arrived just as the other children were leaving, they looked like they enjoyed it. The school is 50 years old so it left somethings to the imagination as it could use some updating (but they are moving in june - so it will only be a short time until then.)

We walk in and introduce ourselves and my son decides that he would like to make the most awesome first impression ever.

I am just going to write it verbatim so that you can feel as it you were standing right there - better yet, pretend that it is your child and let the feelings of pride wash right over you.

Teacher - "Hi there, my name is X. What is your name?"
Son - "my name is X."
Teacher - "Nice to meet you X."
Son - "Are you going to have a baby?"
Now I need to mention that this teacher was slightly overweight, just so you can picture this exchange in your mind.
Teacher - "What? Oh no." Giggles. "I just had a big lunch!"
Me - awkward laugh. Forced grin.
Son - "Is your tummy hurtin'?"
Teacher - "No, I am feeling okay." Giggle.
Son - "Why do you have a big penis?" Pointing to the area under her belt.
Me - awkward laugh…"she doesn't have a penis, silly!"
Teacher - "I don't have a penis."
Son - "OH! I know!! You have a HUMONGOUS VAGINA!!"
Teacher - "I am sorry?" looking at me for clarification as it sounded like "Gi -na"
Me - whispering "He said that you have a big vagina"
Teacher - "oh!"
Son - "Why do you have such a big vagina?"
Me - "X. That is enough."
Son - "Mommy why does she have a big bum-"
Me - cutting him off, "Wow! X look at that kitchen over there!!!!!"
Son - "Mom why does she have-"
Me - Walking quickly towards the first toy I can find, "Wow!! this stuff is so cool!!!"

I don't think that I have ever been so embarrassed in my life. Honestly. Here I am hoping that this preschool will give me a warm and fuzzy feeling, and there goes my son yammering on about this poor woman and her weight. I felt like if the floor would open up and swallow me whole it would be preferable to the awkwardness that I felt after that meeting.

I know that kids speak their minds and this is what preschoolers do - and I am sure that the teacher was not horribly offended (I hope) but sometimes I wish it was socially acceptable to cover your child's mouth or kick them under the table so to speak while they continue to dig that hole in the middle of the room..




photo credit - Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos

Soccer Insanity

There is a saying that if you do the same thing over and over that it is the definition of being insane. I think my husband and I would fall into that category lately.
See, we were not athletic kids at all. Sure I did some track and yes he was a bench warmer football player in high school, but up until very recently neither of us saw much merit in running outside, let alone getting exercise at the same time.

Since we have 3 boys we do feel however, that it is important for THEM to be physically healthy and we want them to enjoy sports as it is a great way to make and sustain friendships when they are older. (beer leagues and all that.) We also regret that we are not as athletic as we could have been so we are hoping by choosing a winter sport (snowboarding) and a summer sport (soccer) that they will get those habits early.

The problem is that our kids are a product of us. So, they are not really into sports! (go figure) My eldest son has been playing soccer since he was 4. First it was picking dandelions, then in U5 it was pretending to be a train as they were called the "Canadian Conductors", then in U6 it was more that he enjoyed the cheering, and now at U7 he really enjoys that he can be the goalie. (well that is *something* isn't it?!?)

The same goes for the middle son. He was in U4 last year and just ran around aimlessly. This year in U5 he is a little better. His coach actually coaches women's soccer professionally (which is kind of funny watching him try to keep 4/5yr olds engaged.)

Last game, my 4 year old was running all the way around the field. Literally. He found the white lines that divided up the field and ran ON them…everytime it was his turn. Completely left the other kids hanging.

My elder son knowing that the attention was not on him decided that this would be a good time to pretend to be a cow. He got on all fours and pretended to eat grass. Now, I should explain for a moment that we are by far the youngest parents in this team.. and that we also have the oldest and most children…So when our 7 year old was moo-ing and chewing his cud, we were getting some pretty interesting looks. It got even better when the 4 year old decided to run into the middle of the field during a game and dry hump the grass…. laughter ensuses… we were so embarrassed.

My husband couldn't take much more. He said to me in a low voice so no one else could hear, "He is humping the ground!!" and then took the older son (who was moo-ing loudly) to the van leaving me to run into the field (with the baby on my back) and grab the 4 year old who explained that he was only "exercising mama."

The husband stayed in the van until the end of the game with the older one (still moo-ing), while I tried to get the 4 year old to listen to his coach. He actually did score a goal by fluke, but all that really mattered was that he was having fun.

This is a typical game for both my kids and it happens every single time. They keep saying that they WANT to play, so I keep taking them…. is this insanity or love?? or Both?!

A Sometimes Single Parent

More and more families are living in transition. Mom or dad has to go away for weeks at a time leaving the other parent to weather it alone for a week at a time or more. This lifestyle can be especially hard on young children as they thrive on routine and stability. Parents must be aware that behaviour issues can arise and coping mechanisms must be created by everyone in the family unit if transient lifestyle is to be successful. 

My husband has been working up north in Ft.McMurray as a Paramedic/Firefighter for over two years. We have 3 small children (all boys) aged 6, 4 and 20 months. Here are some tips and tricks that I do with my own family to keep us connected, attached and thriving. 

1. Support. 

Nothing beats a support network of likeminded parents. Sometimes it can be hard to find a reliable substitute for your absent partner, but being able to rely on someone that you trust can mean the world for a solo parent. Also, parents going through the same transitional lifestyle can help with advice, and sometimes even childcare, as they know what it is like to be in your shoes.  Another way to build your support network is to cultivate relationships with the people in your neighbourhood. In this digital age it is easy to sit inside at home and use the computer to connect with people. For a solo parent, putting yourself out there and meeting other people in your neighbourhood is critical. It is always good to have neighbours to watch out for you and for your kids. I find that since I have gotten to know my neighbours they are more forgiving if the sidewalk is not done right away, and one of them usually does it for me as he knows that it is hard for me to do it with all 3 of my little ones trailing behind. It is also important to know when to ask for help and also when to accept it.  I was incredibly grateful when a neighbour of mine came over to my house to watch my 2 of my children while I rushed my 3rd child to the hospital and I couldn’t wait for my mom to get to my house. She saved me a lot of undue stress in an already stressful situation. 

1. Routine 

Small children thrive on routine so living in a household that is in constant flux can be hard on them. You may notice that your children “act out” more often when in transition – this can be when the other parent comes home or when they go away. The best way to combat this is to have a pretty restricted routine and make sure to follow it no matter who is home. In our house we have all the meals at the same time every day. I have a meal plan so that I know what is being cooked and do not have to think about it. My kids know that we have crock-pot on Thursdays and Pizza and movie night on Fridays. This also gives them something to look forward to. When my partner comes home there is a little bit of resistance from the children, but this is perfectly normal and we know that they need a little more reassurance from both parents to make the transition a smooth one. This is the most important point that I can not stress enough. Every family has a natural balance of how much time they need together and how much time they need apart. Most families that have one parent working away from home complain that the time when they come back is so rushed and they don’t feel like they are connecting with each other…the kids are fighting more and it is generally a very stressful time. Parents complain that they just get into a routine and then the other parent comes home and they have to try and fit the other person into their life. This is why the routine is so important. If you keep things the same whenever either of you are home there is less trying to fit in to the family dynamic, and that makes for a much easier transition on everyone. 

1. Making time for each other and time for yourself. 

Most parents I know (myself included) get overwhelmed by the day to day with small children, especially when they can’t contact their partner to talk about how their day is going (many work away parents have limited access to contact out until after shift ends). We make it a point to have Skype three times a week where my husband will eat his dinner later so that he can say goodnight to the boys. We send him pictures of what we are doing, or eating for supper and the kids make him cards and gifts that he can take up with him the next time he goes. We also took a parenting class that talked about attachment and transitions from Dr.Gordon Neufeld and he stressed on the importance of the next point of contact and leaving something for your kids to treasure while you are away. My husband has the kids take care of one of his watches when he is away, and he makes sure that he calls when he is about to board the plane, when he lands, and before bed every night. 

When my husband comes home I will sometimes want a break, and so I will make an appointment for something just for me, on the second day that he is home. I do make sure that this balances with the needs of the whole family though, as my husband also likes to have a night out and we would like a night out together, but we also have to reconnect as a family so this is the hardest part for most families with limited time between shifts. We try to get all of the chores done while he is gone, and I have actually hired a cleaning lady to do my floors and bathrooms so that we can spend time connecting as a family instead of scrubbing tiles. 

Every time that he is home he will take one of our children out for some errand so that he can talk to them one on one and find out what is on their mind. I have all sons and so the one on one time that they can have with their dad is really important to me and I will sacrifice other things such as a Mom’s Night Out for this to happen. I really believe that my kids are small for such a short time and I want to give them as stable an upbringing that I can. 

This doesn’t mean that I neglect myself, as that is not the case at all. I invite friends over for dinner and playdates when he is away, and also have my best girlfriends over for coffee once a month just to reconnect. It is really all about creating the lifestyle that you want to enjoy. 

1. Find Fun in the Everyday 

This is not to say that it doesn’t get lonely sometimes, even when I have relied on my support network. I believe that being a sometimes single parent can be really isolating because on the weekend when my single friends have dropped their kids off with their ex, and my other friends are having family time on the weekend, we are just waiting for the day to end so that we can talk to daddy. A way that I combat this is by overcompensating for the fact that he is not home on birthdays, and holidays. I make crazy themed food and I also make elaborate crafts and games with the kids. The absolutely love it and it is my hope that they remember the silly crafts and the crazy themed food (thank you Pinterest.com) instead of the fact that their dad was only home half if the year. 

When my husband comes home we also make sure that we try and make it the least stressful as we can by going and doing things like the zoo, or visiting a museum or many of the other attractions and activities that the city has to offer. Also, because he has a whole week off we will sometimes drop everything and go on a mini vacation. Anything to break up the mundane and the monotonous nature of daddy being home vs. daddy being gone. 

1. Goals/ End Dates 

As with any lifestyle choice having a goal is a really good idea. When one parent is working away from home for long periods of time it is always important to have that end goal in mind. Is this a forever thing? Is it just for 6 months to a year? Why are you doing it? There are different challenges for both the parent working away from home and for the parent still at home with the little kids, and sometimes when the going gets tough it is good to keep that end date or reason for working in your mind. We decided to go with this route to be able to afford a house, which we now own and love. We also like the flexibility that my husband has when he comes home because we are a homeschooing family, so we can take a break whenever we want to expand on learning etc. We do have quarterly goals and right now we are saving up for a trip across the ocean. By knowing how many tours that my husband has to work for us to afford our goal makes it easier for me to get through the 6^th bedtime by myself when everyone has a cold. 

As with everything being a sometimes single parent is not for everyone. Sometimes the lure of the money can make it seem like it is worth it, and for some people that in itself is enough. On the other hand it is important to remember that it is not easy money at all. The sacrifice that you have to make as a family and the work that it takes to keep connected and attached can make the money that you could potentially earn not worth it in the least. If you are feeling angry, resentful, depressed or taking out your emotions on the children then you have to take a good hard look at the situation and either change it by learning new coping mechanisms like I have outlined above, or try something else until the children are older. 

Review of My First Crayola - Mess Free Marker and Paper.

I am not one to usually to do reviews but I promise that this is one that you will want to read to the end.

This review is on the Crayola "My First Crayola - Mess Free Marker and Paper."

I bought this particular product as my youngest loves to colour and his favourite canvas is my walls and so I thought that this particular product may be the very thing to teach him that paper is the way to go!

It's a cute marker. Looks like a cow, easy to hold and when paired with the paper it colours a rainbow.

We got to use this product for the first time at my older son's school as there was an important Parent Council Meeting that I did not want to miss and I did not have a sitter. I thought that surely the marker, some of the special "mess free" paper and a couple toys would help to keep them busy - it did - for about 20 mins… which is a great thing… point 1 for the Crayola marker!!

It actually kept my middle son really busy for a little while. He loved to remove the cap and scribble like mad and then give his creations to his friends.

He would giggle like mad as he was drawing and I really enjoyed watching him get som much pleasure from such a cute and easy to use art utensil. Point 2 for Crayola.

After he had been drawing for a couple minutes he came up to me and asked, "Mom, Do you know how this guy makes rainbows?"

I replied, "well, the paper is rainbow and the marker just shows you the rainbow where you draw on it."

He responds, "No. Like how he *makes* rainbows."

I say, "No, honey…why don't you show me."

He then shows me the little cow and says, "Well, mommy…first you have to take his pants off and then colour rainbow with his penis."

I sit trying hard not to burst out laughing (remember that I am in a meeting), although it was really difficult with the other moms around who had overheard as well.

He continues, "Mom! Mom! He PEES out the rainbows!!"

He then sits back on the floor and starts to draw again, giggling to himself and quietly whispering "pisssssssssssss" as he continued to happily draw on the paper.

I let him, point 3 for Crayola… capturing the true essence of what engages a 4 year old boy.

I for one have no idea why he would think it was a penis…. do you?? (lol)

So for my review.
1 star for being cute.
2 star for being easy to use.
3 stars for shooting rainbows out of a cow's penis much to the delight of little boys everywhere!!

Simple Massages for a Fussy Baby

You may notice that your baby’s crying seems to peak in the evening and at meal times. You try all of the tips and tricks that you have learned, gripe water, probiotics, keeping the baby upright, and while wearing baby calms him most of the time, you think that your baby may have colic and want to do something more.

Colic is defined as persistent unexplained crying of an otherwise healthy baby for more than 3 hours a day.  Baby Massage is a great way to help your baby cope with his colic. Not only that but it also allows you to feel that you are playing an active role to make him feel better. There are three basic moves in Shantala Massage that help relive colic and gas.

1.     Colic Coils. This is a move that you can do while feeding your little one. It is basically using reflexology by making clockwise circles on your child’s hands and feet.

2.     I Love You. This is an inverted triangle that starts from the right side of the baby’s groin – moves upward diagonally toward the rib cage – across the body to the left side – and then finish the triangle by tracing your fingers down to the left side of the groin. The last step of this move is to make an upside down “U” around the belly button (clockwise.)

3.     Empting the Stomach. This simple move that means just that. Place your hands on the baby’s stomach and use a hand over hand motion using soft pressure to help relieve the baby’s gas.

Always make sure when you are doing any massage technique with your baby that you use a cold pressed vegetable oil such as grape seed which allow nutrients to be absorbed by the body and not removed like a conventional baby oil.

Also, follow your baby’s cues. Watch for signs to see if the baby is not enjoying the massage such as clenched fists. Sometimes you need to work at massage routine for a couple weeks before you and your baby feel comfortable.

Make sure that you follow up with your health practitioner if your baby’s colic does not seem to improve, or if it seems to get worse. Sometimes babies can have GERD, or there can be underlying food allergies or sensitivities that can be undiagnosed and cause issues for your child’s tummy. Sometimes it can be as simple as eliminating all dairy and soy from your diet if breastfeeding and switching to a hypoallergenic formula if you are using that instead.

Always reach out for support if you are feeling overwhelmed. There are lots of moms that have been in your shoes, you just have to find them.

Alisha Brignall is a Shantala Baby Massage Instructor and Parent Educator in Calgary. 

**Originally Published in M.O.B. Monthly April 2009

Mommy Judgement

I have been thinking a lot on mommy judgement as of late as a couple articles that have come out in the last couple days (one that I wrote) and another have caused quite a debate in the mommy world.

We speak about how when people know better they do better, and that everyone will find a way that works for their family, and how judgement fuels the mommy wars - and it does, but that doesn't mean that all moms need to stop judging.

Wait…did I just say that you *should* judge? Wasn't my last post all about *not* judging…am I contradicting myself? I would say no, because I personally believe that there are different kinds of judgement, and different degrees of how one should be judged.

Let me give you some examples.

I wrote an article on being a "sometimes" single parent. This is when mom or dad is out of town for work on a regular basis. It talked about coping techniques and how to keep your family whole when one is obviously missing. When I posted about it a couple friends of mine were completely insulted that I would write about being a single parent when I am not one. (but the article wasn't about that) I feel as if I was judged very harshly - without any real information gathered. Neither of them had actually read the article so they were just putting their perception of what they *thought* I had written and judged me for it.

This is not a nice way to judge moms.

Another would be judging a mom on how she goes about the day to day of raising her kids. Judging them on what they eat, what they wear or how they dress. We can also go into where the baby sleeps, what they do for a living etc. etc. These are normal judgments that run rampant in society - and really shouldnt matter. Every single person is judging you. Watching you. Looking at what you are doing. They are called snap judgments and to try and get people above this - especially when they are looking for connections (like in mommy groups) is almost impossible. Unless you are a devout spiritual person... I would say that everyone has these type of judgments.

As a side, these are the judgments that I fall prey to the most. I fret about how I look and how my kids look to the outside world on a regular basis…it is why there are brushes and wipes in my car at all times.

This isn't a nice way to judge people either but this one is more of a *perception* at any given moment people may or may not be actually judging you - and for the most part these are judgments that you have about yourself - remember my last post (own your choice).

The third judgement is where the second article landed on. A parent "expert" consistantly tells parents to let their children cry themselves to sleep and not check on them for extended periods of time from 2 months on.. (or 12lbs - which ever comes first). Anyway, she felt judged by parents who did not believe in her methods and other parents who use these methods also feel judged (albeit maybe having not used the extreme methods that she subscribes to).

Isn't this a good judgment? If someone is doing something that is harmful to another person, or preying on people when they are in a vulerable state…isnt this when we *should* judge?
To me advocating that an infant under 8 weeks should be left for 12 hrs at night with no exceptions is abuse…and so this expert in my opinion is teaching abuse. She should be judged.

The moms that follow her blindly should be as well. Then they should also get the support that they need.

I kind of liken it to Child Protective Services. Lets say you see a mom that is yelling at a baby. Some one under 6 months old. She is really loud, screaming at a defensless infant - in a food court - or maybe she tells you that she locks her child in the bathroom all night without supper until he poops in the potty (for hours on end), or that on Facebook you see that a mom says that she puts hot sauce on her toddlers mouth when he swears….. these are all reasons why CPS would be called…. but wait..is this judgement or is it looking out for someone who can not look out for themselves??

I believe it is the latter. Children need protection by the people in the society surrounding them. The society surrounding them uses judgement to assess whether a behaviour is acceptble or not.

So mommy's… there are three kinds of judgement; snap judgments, the judgement that you *percieve* (which may or may not actually be there) and the judgement that I hope that everyone does…every single day.

I know I do.


**added after being published - I also wanted to say that since I judge moms I expect judgement from moms as well. If I am harming my kids I *want* to be called on it. If we feel like everything we do as parents is not a regret - then we really *shouldn't* feel judgement - and have nothing to really worry about. IMO.

Formula vs Breastfeeding : A rant

This is an response to Breast Feeding vs Formula : A Rant. 


I am getting so tired of this. Blog after blog after blog of formula feeding moms that have to set the record straight about how they feel persecuted by the breastfeeding police. That they were somehow judged somewhere and some how by some horrible LLL leader or "breastfeeding Nazi". (btw - this term is horribly offensive and disrespectful to the people who have survived the holocaust and those affected by it. - more on that later.)


Why is it that when a mom asks for support or encouragement for breastfeeding issues she gets an onslaught of
             
I went through this and eventually had to switch to formula, with both babies, it was very discouraging and I felt like a failure, but sometimes our bodies just can't give our babies what they need. YOu obviously are trying and love your baby and that's what is most important. Keep on trying and if it doesn't work out, know that you tried everything you could, you are still a great mom who wants what's best for your baby!


I have been to various lactation consultants and the LaLeche League. I hate to say this but I found LLL a little judgmental. One of the ladies there told me it's a urban myth that a woman can't produce enough milk. That I just was not committed enough. At that point I decided to try and go it myself. I don't feel like anyone should be judged for the choices they make and are already struggling with on a daily basis.


I know how you are feeling...people make you feel so guilty. My body did not produce enough milk for my Son and I had to supplement since he was losing weight. I found it so exhausting, breastfeeding, then the bottle, then pumping. Then it was time to feed again. At 7 weeks my husband finally said while I was pumping and getting nothing, "Don't feel guilty if you want to stop" After I stopped I enjoyed being a new Mom so much more. My Son is almost 2 now and is a happy healthy boy!


Each one of these posts says that they tried and were *unsuccessful* at breastfeeding. Each one. So, how is that encouraging to the mom asking the question? 


I bring this up because there seems to be a real double standard when it comes to formula feeding moms and moms who use breastmilk.  Now I would argue along with The Feminist Breeder that formula feeding is not necessarily a "choice"… but lets argue for a moment that you think it is. One *chooses* to feed formula and one *chooses* to feed breastmilk. Okay. Now, why is it that when ever there is a question on breastfeeding it is taken as an excuse to explain how hard it is and how formula *saved the baby's life* but a breastfeeding mom can't be proud of her accomplishment? Does that somehow make her judgemental of a formula feeding mom? Just because she succeeded at getting milk to come out of her breasts?? 


Another question was posed on Today Moms facebook page asking about how long people had exclusively breastfed for, and what helped them, and what could have helped them even more…. the responses again were not very supportive of breastfeeding…. 


Some babies just don't take to it well and at the end of the day the health and well-being of your child should be more important than you being able to say you exclusively breastfed.



Nothing would have helped. I never lactated at all, not even colostrum. Fortunately, I didn't have any stupid hang ups about it and happily gave my kids formula.


I really wanted to breast feed but from day one my daughter wasn't having it. Pumping is just not the same and doesn't produce milk the same way if that's all your doing. I pumped for about two months then went all the way to formula.


 I did it for 3 months. Never had enough due to death threatening complications when I had my daughter. So I'm VERY thankful for bottles and "the fake powder stuff" like Amy calls it. Two centuries ago my daughter and I would've been dead if it not were for the advancements in medicine.


Are we noticing a trend yet?? 


And then to the Blog in question. This particular blog was written in response to a twitter party with a formula manufacturer giving away free swag being shut down because they were afraid of the backlash from the "lactivist" community. (doesn't that say something right there? The formula company cancelled it on their own because they were afraid of what exactly??)


Anyway, this mom, felt the need to post because she felt that the moms who *choose* formula should get free swag too. (and sure, yes they should). But, the thing is that formula companies are horrible in their marketing practices and they don't really care about you once they have gotten you - I mean just look at the recalls…. they want that NEW mom. That mom who is struggling and LOOKING for SUPPORT - and then they swoop in on their white horse and give her a free sample and *save her baby's life*. 


How is that ethical? 


And so blog posts standing up for the *choice* of formula and saying things like - "You don’t think it crosses our mind that, if it weren’t for formula, our babies would die? Do you think that feels good?"  …are just lining the pockets of the food giants.


What about milk sharing, or milk banks?? (but that is another post entirely).


So when a mom who is really only invested in the health and wellness of another mother and child - mental health as well, has NO ulterior motive…no bottom line…they get mud slung at them - 


unfreakingbelievable. Seriously? And what would these breast milk nazis have done for MY children, when my breast milk didn't contain enough fatty nutrition and I was forced to use formula so that my kids didn't starve to death? When the hell will self righteous bitches learn to mind their own damn business, take care of their own brats as opposed to telling us how to take care of ours? I'm with you on this one, T. This is god damn INFURIATING.



What is infuriating to me is that it seems like if you formula feed you can pretty much say whatever you want and not really get held accountable. You can call activists "Nazis" and it is socially acceptable… You can make a societal issue all about you and not really understand the politics and money behind the issue and blame it all on judgement. 


Basically, you can run your mouth about support and judgement and then turn around and do the EXACT same thing to a mom who is wanting to or actually breastfeeding…. 


Why can we not see the hypocrisy here and why do we allow it to continue?? 


If you truly *chose* to formula feed. i.e.) had an adequate supply of milk, a ton of support, no issues at all and THEN decided that you wanted to formula feed for convenience - as this is the ONLY way that I think it is actually a *choice* then seriously. OWN YOUR CHOICE - and don't feel guilty or defensive because it was YOUR CHOICE.


And moms that tried to breastfeed but could not for whatever reason. Get angry at the medical professionals who failed you. Get angry at your genetics. Get angry at our society for not supporting you. Get angry at the formula companies that undermined you at every turn… but STOP taking it out on other mothers who tried and for whatever reason were lucky at it. Praise them. Look up to them…you wanted to breastfed right? you tried right?? so why the hate for those who made it? 


Stop with the judgement, the name calling and defensiveness…if you want support, start giving it. 




ps. before you start to throw mud at me - my first born was formula fed - and guess what?? He is not *fine*. He has allergies, sleeping issues, and hyperactivity tendencies…. hmmm…the anecdotal evidence didn't work there did it? 

A Mother's Nose

I am one of those moms that not only uses the daily bath to clean my incredibly dirty boys, but also to have them play for 30 mins or so while I fold laundry on the bathroom floor in front of them.
Its kind of a wind down ritual to our hectic day.

This particular day my older boys were done their bath, and had gotten pajamas on and started to play on the floor beside me while I continued to fold the continuous pile of laundry that was before me.

I smelt this faint very familiar smell, that I was interested to find the source. Having the two clean boys in front of me I asked…did you fart?

After peals of laughter they assured me that no, they had not. But, I could still smell it. I asked the younger, did you poop in your pants? No. I asked the older - knowing that he did not - if he had. No! Absolutley not.

I sat there for a moment - sniffing the air. Listening to my youngest one happily splash in the water. I looked over and noticed that the wetbag for my cloth diapers was open, and so I thought that it must be coming from there and continued to fold - and gave the 2 year old his 5 min warning.

As I said this warning, not really looking up from folding a 3 inch wet turd flew past my right ear and hit my wall. I spun around stood up, and a second one hit the floor right beside me.

I looked at my two year old, $h!t eating grin on his face (thank goodness not literally) with another peice of poo in his hand ready to throw.

"Poop?" he says. "Bum" he says. "Yes" I say. "No throw" I say.

Slowly walking towards the loaded weapon. (my other two boys in complete disbelief that I am not losing it…) He aims, and fires…near miss. (but to my relief all the ammo is gone from the tub.)

By now my bathroom really smells (the bathroom that I just spent the better part of the day cleaning and sanitizing) and there are poop smears and wet logs in many different spots.

I could have lost it…but, I didn't. :)

I kept my cool, took him out, washed him in my sink, cleaned all the poop up and put them all to bed….it was one of those moments in parenting where you could go either way - and I was sad I didn't have my camera.

You know you are a mother when….

Today was one of those days. The days that just keep kicking you even when you are down.
It started when I decided (for the first time in 3 weeks) to go to bed early. My littlest still sleeps in the family bed, so I happily climbed in all ready to get some much needed sleep - when he woke up.
He sometimes wakes for a couple minutes, so I patted him down and he fell back asleep.

And then woke up. Again, and again, and again. He woke up every hour from 11pm to 5am… He is night weaned and has been sleeping through the night for months (at 23 months old). It was a rough night!!

But, we mothers can function on very little sleep so I got up and went about my day. I let my middle child pour the milk for his cereal (training him to do it himself) and he spilled the whole thing…It was okay - no need to cry over spilt milk - but my cleaning list started to grow from that point.

We went to feed our fish. Three little guppies that we were growing attached to - and of course, "why is that one upside down??" and of course it *had* to be K's as he is the most sensitive one. Lots of talking and lots of tears later, and lots of WHY questions… we said goodbye to the spotted one.

After the tragedy they were playing very nicely, little fights here and there, however they would not leave the kitchen and had me tripping over them time and time out. I was starting to get frustrated. I remembered that they seem to act out more on a weekend when dad is not home - so I sucked it up, and found them work to do.

I decided to send them outside to play so that I could finish the kitchen. Just as I put my youngest in his snow gear he pooped. I picked him up and went upstairs to change him (of course I had just run out of diaper liners - and so now my cleaning list grew some more as this particular cloth diaper needed some TLC.

As I was putting a freshly clean cloth diper on his bum, my middle child came in the room. I asked him if he went pee (as he was entering the bathroom as I headed up the stairs). He said, yes that he had gone pee. But that he wanted to be like E. (the youngest). I asked him - how so? He told me that he pooped in his pants. He is 4. Has been potty trained for a year. I said, you want to poop in your pants? He replied, no I pooped in my pants to be like E.

I would like to say that I stayed calm, but I was pretty irritated that he would purposefully poop in his pants (adding more to the cleaning list). I took him to the bathroom and sure enough a kid sized poop was in his pants. I put him on the potty and left the room…taking a parent time out. (He finished on the potty and I praised and smiled…and the grumbled to myself while cleaning now the potty and the pants.)

They went outside. The day continued. They came back in. Wanted to paint.

We painted. They made a collosial mess… paint on the floor and the walls… apparently they like to wave their hands a lot when excited.

Cleaned up, went downstairs - ate popcorn, watched a movie. (emotionally scarred R - the middle - UP is too intense for him.)

Left the TV on for 15 mins while I re-heated the pizzas in the oven and came down to E - sleeping at 6:30pm… 7 was usually his bedtime, and I panicked. Not wanting him to miss dinner and not wanting to be up all night - I woke him…..he didnt eat dinner anyway….

Bed for the big two at 8pm….E didnt go down until 10pm… that cat nap sure gave him a second wind.

Just as I got E to sleep, K - the big one, calls me into his room.. I walk in and he goes, "mom, my neck feels funny." I say, "oh?" and walk over to feel it. Not a moment after my hand is on his neck he starts to gag and projectiles in my direction. I pick up the closest thing to me - which is a basket - and he fills it with regurgetated popcorn and pizza. I gag, he gags again and continues.

After he is done, I carry him to the bathroom and place him on the toilet. I go and strip his bed (look more cleaning!!) and thow it in the wash. I look at the basket.

It's a wicker basket that I use to collect their toys that they leave in my living room. It sits on my stairs and then at the end of the day is brought up into their rooms to empty….so this one - full of puke - also had ALL of the toys that he loves the MOST!

I take the basket into the bathroom dump it in the sink - fill the sink with water and gag - and gag- and gag - and start to *fish* out Lego Minifigures…. Luke, Darth Vader, and Ninjagos and floating in stomach contents.

It is in that moment that I think about how *only* a mom would do this. No one else would sift through vomit to save beloved toys. And as he sat on the toilet he kept asking in a panicked voice - "you are not losing them down the drain are you??"

I wish that was the end - but it is not…he puked again…and I had to strip the bed again, and throw stuff in the wash again - and as I write this I can hear him retching…..it is going to be a long long long night….

Sigh. (but this *is* my job.)

Full Circle

5 years ago I started a little business with a friend. Just a mom that I had met at the playground. Our kids were the same age and we both would talk about how our city lacked the community supports that we were so desperately searching for.
Our kids were over one, and we had just started to feel less isolated. We talked about how great it would be to have a place where moms could use it like their own living rooms and come and meet, have a cup of coffee and maybe learn some tools to make them more confident parents.
Confident parents = happy parents = happy kids.
We decided to open Room to Grow. We wanted it to be the place for moms to come when pregnant, with newborns, to have fun *with* their toddlers (as the majority of our classes were parented), and finally to allow children to transition to independent preschool with none of the stress and forced transitions that occur so often at that age.
We had our ups and downs in those 5 years, spent a lot of money, and never really made it back. But regardless of the growing pains, the neighbours who didn't really like us at first, staff changes and all the stresses that come with owning your own business - we still opened everyday, with a smile on our faces to support those moms and dads that came through our doors.
That mom who I met in the playground became a best friend, and more than that. We had our second kids at the same time, and then our third. We supported each other, and while Room to Grow was always a topic of our conversation - so were first steps, sleepless nights and worries that only another mother understands.
In October we had the opportunity to decide on our future. My best friend and business partner was expecting her forth, my husband always away working up north to support us, gave us pause…we were still successful, but tired. We loved seeing the moms and helping them out and supporting them…but we had growing families of our own and demands that were needing to be met.
With a heavy heart we decided to sell.
It could have been worse. The ressession killed alot of the mom and baby businesses over the last 5 years and we were one of the only ones still standing. We saw this as a success. We had awards, and media coverage and multiple children - all while maintaining our business baby.
Today, the leap day, is the last day that I co-own this business with my partner/friend and it is the fear of losing that connection that makes me the saddest. We built it together and it was amazing and we were a force to be reckoned with. Imagine if we had been able to put our *whole* selves into Room to Grow - it would have been unstoppable!
But that is where the truth lies. We couldn't. We love our families too much. We want to be there with them and stop putting their needs behind that of a dream.
I deleted the facebook page tonight, and the website has already gone to the new preschool - which will be wonderful I am sure. But it was hard to press that button. Hard to see years of work just gone. As if it was never there.
Sometimes I wonder if in a couple years someone will say - hey, whatever happened to that place? Or will something better come up?
That is the thing with a business targeted to moms…a new mom and baby dyad is made every minute of every day…so probably people will remember - but only the ones who knew us when we were open….new moms just wont realize that they missed anything at all….
And somehow that point is what makes me the saddest…..
I wanted to make it 5 years. So I made that goal.
I guess I have some time before I need to make a new one.
Thank you to everyone in my life who has been so supportive of Room to Grow and of me, and my beautiful, wonderful, amazing business partner. I could not have done any of this without her.

Ignorance is not bliss - It's irritating.

I have been participating in a local mommy board for a couple months. It is one of those facebook groups with a whole swack of new moms. So being the type of person I am wanting to support and help other mothers I stay on to help let them know that it gets better… lol
Anyway, some topics get me hot and bothered. One being birth - since every single person it seems has an epidural and then *surprise* an emergency C-birth… (but they dont see the correlation), or the other wonderful topic of Circumcision.

Here is the deal. I get that it is *somewhat* popular in our culture to circumcise. I also get that moms usually leave the decision to the dad - and if he is cut then so will the baby.
I did not circumcise my boys because I believe it is body modification, it costs $100, and I don't own their penis.
His body - his choice.

Now, I get that there are some deeply rooted misconceptions out there - and if you circumsised your child - then that is fine. He is a man - and most likely he isnt going to care anyway…and as most of my parenting philosophy goes - if it doesn't affect my own children then I dont need to put *so* much effort into it...also what is done is done.

What gets me going though is this misinformation wrapped up in anecdotal examples. Just because some cousin/brother/friend/husband etc. etc. had to get circumsied as an adult does NOT mean that every boy child needs his foreskin cut off.
Most likely they needed the circ because of IMPROPER care of the intact penis.

Which is another thing that makes me crazy! Moms who either a. dont have an intact penis, b. have a son who doesn't have an intact penis or c. are not taking proper care of their son's intact penis - are spouting off how to care for a penis as if they actiually know!!

Here is the deal. My oldest son actually HAS a tight foreskin, its genetic and he may have to get a circ at some point - but we are hoping with steriod creams that this will not happen…. needless to say I have been researching intact penises for 7 years….

So today, when on this forum a mom said "you have to push back the skin to clean it." UM NO!!!!!
but you know "her doctor said it was okay." My doctor has said some pretty dumb things because she is a human and humans can not know everything (contrary to popular belief that a doctor is all knowing).

So we went back and forth and finally the thread was deleted. What ticks me off the most is that she ended with a "I guess all families have different opinions."

How to care for an intact penis is NOT an opinion. It's the same across the board. LEAVE THE FORESKIN ALONE. period.

Seriously. It's not up for debate. By pushing back the foreskin when it has not retracted by itself causes damage *increasing* the risk of a circumcision.

You can see articles here, here, here, and here. (and those just scratch the surface of the hundreds that ALL say the same thing.)