Lost Dog: Learning From My Kids Style

As a responsible pet owner I make sure that my kids are aware of how to act when there are stray dogs around, or when we come across another dog when we are out with our German Shepard Rotti.

Of course, my kids are actually useless when this happens in real life as I found out today.

As we were coming home from walking to the grocery store, we noticed a man asking people about 2 bichons running around all over the place. He called over and asked if they were mine as we started to unload in front of my house. I said no, and continued to unpack my groceries.

The Lost Dog

When I was done I noticed that the two dogs were running in between my house and my neighbours. I also noticed that one had tags - so I called it over and grabbed a look at the tag. I called the number and got no answer. These poor dogs were sweltering and it was over 25' C. I was worried that they may get into medical trouble so I decided that I should try and help. I called our local city by-law to report them.

While I was on the phone on my front porch with by-law, my kids were in the house and had decided to get water for the dogs, but they had also let my big German Shepard cross in the house as well. So when she came to the sidelight at the front door, she lost it. Barking and barking at these little dogs.

The by-law man told me to put the dogs somewhere where I could keep them safe - so I went around to the side gate as I knew my dog was inside and pulled the latch - broken. Typical.

I brought the dogs back onto the porch and told my son through the door to put our dog in the library. (where she is usually crated). He couldn't decide what to do with the water dish in his hands and slowly took it back to the kitchen as I turned the handle of our front door.....locked.

Not Impressed to be Locked in the Library.

Seriously?!?! Now I am on the phone with by-law while my minor children have locked me out of the house. I calmly tell my son to unlock the door and put the dog in the library...he complies. (all the while asking WHY?!?!?!)

I open the door slowly and the two dogs RUN into my house. My dog can see them through the glass doors in the library and tries to eat through the door. Our cat who is more like a dog than a cat arches his back and hisses - thoroughly freaking out the skittish dog and it runs out of my house and down the street. I can't leave my kids to run after it - so I accept the loss. I tried at least.

I convince the other dog that my couch is not as nice as my backyard and take him outside. I shut the door and leave some water for it outside. My kids really want to see the dog so they open the door and it comes back in...again there is rounding up of a dog who would much rather be inside and shoo-ing of children that have no fear of a stray dog!

My "Helpers"

Finally, 45 mins later the by-law truck comes and takes the dog away - asking me where the other one went...I tried to explain what happened but by then I was just happy to see the dog go.

So Happy to see this Truck!!

That is my good samaritan deed for a couple months at least!!

Monster Burgers and Severed Heads

I hope that you enjoyed yesterday's post on Halloween breakfast ideas.

Today I wanted to share a couple of my go-to recipes. A couple of my girlfriends feel that my week of Halloween themed food is just too hard to fit in to their busy lives, and yes it does look pretty complicated, but I promise that it isn't.

Monster Burgers and Severed Heads take absolutely no time at all and minimal planning. It's the one meal that you can just whip up within seconds and I promise that the kids will get so excited for it.

Monster Burgers


I got the inspiration for Monster Burgers from a girlfriend of mine named Gemma. She was always making incredible looking lunch ideas for her girls and Halloween was no exception.

Monster Burgers are easy enough, just take a burger - it can be Vegan, Vegetarian or 100% Beef and it will all work the same.

Make the burger as you would usually and then take a piece of bacon or Tempeh and place it so that it sticks out of the "mouth". Add some olives for eyes, and cut out shapes from peppers to add horns, or wings or whatever that you feel like doing with toothpicks! Get creative!

I like to cut out the shapes and leave the olives and cheese out so that the kids can make their own Monster creation. It is so much fun and not just for Halloween!

Severed Heads

If you can turn on an oven you can make Severed Heads.

Do I even have to explain it?

Take a bag of Smiles by McCain and bake them according to package directions. I like to over-bake them a little as it adds a "burned" look to the face.

Place them on the plate and add ketchup on their "neck" and Voila! Severed Heads. ;)

The great thing about these is that you can do a whole bunch of them at a time and you can add them to just about any dish.

I use them more than a couple times during the week before Halloween and they are such a hit. Pair them with a Mummy Dog and some Goblin Mouths (apple slices and almond slivers) and you have a great lunch!

And really, who doesn't like Burgers and Fries?

As always make sure that you are sharing your creations with me on Facebook or Twitter or in comments!

I love seeing what you come up with!

The Blissdom Canada 2012 recap

Well, I am back from Blissdom Canada 2012. Did you miss me? I promise that I will get back to my regular blogs about Halloween on Thursday (and then some!)

I had a great time in Toronto, and better still my kids had a great time without me! My house is clean, I am renewed and refreshed and I got to spend the weekend with 500 other women (and a handful of men) that speak my language.

Love Marilyn!

Sitting in the Chair! My dream!!

I came in early for the conference as I won tickets to the Marilyn Denis show. This was a dream come true for me. I have been watching Marilyn for years with my mom and so to see her live and get to talk with her one on one was so great. She gave me a big hug and I got to sit in her chair…it's the little things you know….

Town Hall

Spent the rest of the day just walking around the city. It is SO big, and so so much faster paced than Calgary. I have to say that I actually got quite overwhelmed and had to retreat back to the hotel just to have a little quiet time. I love the city, but it also scared me at the same time.

Not even a 1/4 of the mall!!

That night I was waitlisted for the Road Rally (think Amazing Race), but in the end I got to go. (thanks Brooke!) We ran around Toronto being chauffeured by our wonderful driver Patrick and took many different pictures, videos and tweeted the whole time. It was so crazy and I am glad that all 3 of my team mates were from Toronto (lucky that way).

Next was the kick off party where we had Microsoft show us some neat things and I watched many women dance the night away with the Kinect dance challenge. (it was pretty funny)

It was at this party that I met Annie of PhD in Parenting. I felt like such a nerd and fan girl, but she was so nice and made me feel right at home. (thanks to Mara for introducing us - and thanks to Candace for showing me that she was there.)

Annie and I

Ann and I

Saturday was the first real day of the conference. It started with a welcome breakfast and we had a presentation by Dove. Next we had 3 micro-sessions to talk about things that we really wanted to learn.
The micro-sessions were by far my favourite part of the conference. I learned about analytics with Annie, How to Be an Expert with Candace, and How to Write a Book with Ann Douglas.

After lunch we had the opportunity to listen to the keynote speakers. While all of the talks were amazing in their own right, my favourite by far was Bonnie Stewart. Here is a post that she wrote that has some of the key ideas of that talk. It is something that we really have to take to heart as the internet is really just an extension of us in the real world and we must always be aware of that.

Jian and I

I was able to get my book signed by Jian Ghomeshi, the Sh*tty Moms, Andrea Nair, and by Amy McKay. (Bliss for a book lover like myself.)

So cute!!

Saturday evening my blogging girlfriends and I went to get our hair done and we dressed up as Mad Men Women for the karaoke costume party. We had planned this group costume for over two months and it was great to see it in action! It was too fun and I looked so cute! I could be a 1950's housewife every day! The party also gave me an opportunity to connect with other really neat people. I met Kyla from MommysWeird and I swear we were best friends in another life! I love this conference for stuff like that!

Hope I don't crash!!

The next day I went to the GM plant in Oshawa and learned all about the new technology that they are putting into their cars. It was pretty neat to see the "behind the scenes" and I really like how they listen to the consumer. I actually talked to them about integrated carseats and they discussed it with me. My favourite new feature that they showed us was that they have sensors that see the lines on the road and if you go over the line it vibrates your seat to alert you. How neat is that? I think it is for rumble strips (since there is talk about getting rid of them due to cyclist commutes).

Pretty Sweet!

I got to drive a Camaro (a new souped up edition) and do a slalom course, a doughnut course, and a fast breaking course. It was pretty neat and I joked with the drivers if they knew the Stig (since they all spoke french).




After the excursion was over we were whisked VIP style back to the airport to await our (delayed) flight to Calgary. The drive was great and I have to note that out of all the sponsors at Blissdom, GM were my favourite as the always had cars and drivers waiting for people, and if you were from out of town like me, that service was really invaluable.

My Ride

I learned a lot, not only about Social Media, Marketing, Books and Branding, but also about myself. I learned that I need to really look deep inside of myself and see what I want to do, apart from being a mother and a wife, and to take more time just for myself.

My kids survived, my house survived, my husband is capable.

Blissdom Canada 2013?? I think so.

*Vlog* Car - Schooling

So now that I have explained a little bit more about homeschooling, I thought that you may all enjoy seeing me in action. Here is a new Vlog for you!

Ahhhh….Preschoolers

I was talking on the phone with my cousin today and she demanded that I blog about what happened today and so without further adieu…..

My son is having trouble at his preschool. He isn't really the "sit down and listen" type… he is more of the "you told me what to do and now I am going to do the exact opposite" type; so needless to say this year of preschool has not gone by without its share of challenges.

He was assessed the other day with some learning challenges as the teachers would like him to have an aide who can basically hold his hand the whole day so that he *must* do what the other children are doing - or so that is my understanding…I am not really sure how I feel about this, so I decided that maybe I would shop around and see what other preschools have to offer.

There is this great community run - reggio - program that is close to my oldest son's school. I decided to give them a shot in the dark and see if maybe they had spaces left and by a stroke of luck they actually did! I made an appointment to take my middle child and go and check this school out for myself.

We arrived just as the other children were leaving, they looked like they enjoyed it. The school is 50 years old so it left somethings to the imagination as it could use some updating (but they are moving in june - so it will only be a short time until then.)

We walk in and introduce ourselves and my son decides that he would like to make the most awesome first impression ever.

I am just going to write it verbatim so that you can feel as it you were standing right there - better yet, pretend that it is your child and let the feelings of pride wash right over you.

Teacher - "Hi there, my name is X. What is your name?"
Son - "my name is X."
Teacher - "Nice to meet you X."
Son - "Are you going to have a baby?"
Now I need to mention that this teacher was slightly overweight, just so you can picture this exchange in your mind.
Teacher - "What? Oh no." Giggles. "I just had a big lunch!"
Me - awkward laugh. Forced grin.
Son - "Is your tummy hurtin'?"
Teacher - "No, I am feeling okay." Giggle.
Son - "Why do you have a big penis?" Pointing to the area under her belt.
Me - awkward laugh…"she doesn't have a penis, silly!"
Teacher - "I don't have a penis."
Son - "OH! I know!! You have a HUMONGOUS VAGINA!!"
Teacher - "I am sorry?" looking at me for clarification as it sounded like "Gi -na"
Me - whispering "He said that you have a big vagina"
Teacher - "oh!"
Son - "Why do you have such a big vagina?"
Me - "X. That is enough."
Son - "Mommy why does she have a big bum-"
Me - cutting him off, "Wow! X look at that kitchen over there!!!!!"
Son - "Mom why does she have-"
Me - Walking quickly towards the first toy I can find, "Wow!! this stuff is so cool!!!"

I don't think that I have ever been so embarrassed in my life. Honestly. Here I am hoping that this preschool will give me a warm and fuzzy feeling, and there goes my son yammering on about this poor woman and her weight. I felt like if the floor would open up and swallow me whole it would be preferable to the awkwardness that I felt after that meeting.

I know that kids speak their minds and this is what preschoolers do - and I am sure that the teacher was not horribly offended (I hope) but sometimes I wish it was socially acceptable to cover your child's mouth or kick them under the table so to speak while they continue to dig that hole in the middle of the room..




photo credit - Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos

A Mother's Nose

I am one of those moms that not only uses the daily bath to clean my incredibly dirty boys, but also to have them play for 30 mins or so while I fold laundry on the bathroom floor in front of them.
Its kind of a wind down ritual to our hectic day.

This particular day my older boys were done their bath, and had gotten pajamas on and started to play on the floor beside me while I continued to fold the continuous pile of laundry that was before me.

I smelt this faint very familiar smell, that I was interested to find the source. Having the two clean boys in front of me I asked…did you fart?

After peals of laughter they assured me that no, they had not. But, I could still smell it. I asked the younger, did you poop in your pants? No. I asked the older - knowing that he did not - if he had. No! Absolutley not.

I sat there for a moment - sniffing the air. Listening to my youngest one happily splash in the water. I looked over and noticed that the wetbag for my cloth diapers was open, and so I thought that it must be coming from there and continued to fold - and gave the 2 year old his 5 min warning.

As I said this warning, not really looking up from folding a 3 inch wet turd flew past my right ear and hit my wall. I spun around stood up, and a second one hit the floor right beside me.

I looked at my two year old, $h!t eating grin on his face (thank goodness not literally) with another peice of poo in his hand ready to throw.

"Poop?" he says. "Bum" he says. "Yes" I say. "No throw" I say.

Slowly walking towards the loaded weapon. (my other two boys in complete disbelief that I am not losing it…) He aims, and fires…near miss. (but to my relief all the ammo is gone from the tub.)

By now my bathroom really smells (the bathroom that I just spent the better part of the day cleaning and sanitizing) and there are poop smears and wet logs in many different spots.

I could have lost it…but, I didn't. :)

I kept my cool, took him out, washed him in my sink, cleaned all the poop up and put them all to bed….it was one of those moments in parenting where you could go either way - and I was sad I didn't have my camera.

Impossible Passport Photos

We would like to take a holiday into the states later this year to visit family. We thought that we would drive since we really don't want to have to deal with any of the TSA drama that has been unfolding in the last couple months.

We also thought that it may be a good experiment to either A. See how insane we really are. or B. See if we can make it as far as it will take us to the cottage in the summer, and C. If we can make it there without killing ourselves, the kids or eachother (all in the figurate sense of course!)

So the trip (driving) is going to take us a minimum of 3 days. We know that to be realistic that it will probably take closer to 4 because we have 3 small children and a dog that will probably need to pee just as mush as the children do...so maybe 4 days isn't even realistic....hmmmm......

Anyway, because we are leaving our beautiful but COLD country and decided to go down to the warmer parts of the U.S of A. we needed to get passports. However, getting passport photos for 3 children under the age of 5 is a journey all in itself.

First of all they want your children to look straight on into the camera so that they can see *both* of their ears. This is almost impossible as kids look everywhere BUT where you tell them to. Second their mouths must be shut...ummm...so after you spend YEARS trying to get them to smile at the camera you are now telling them NOT to.

My five year old would not look at the camera even with bribing him to. I tried to no avail to get him to look straight, no smile, chin up, look straight, chin up....straight!!!! It was so frustrating. So finally after we got his picture done and on to the next kid to do this all over, the photog told us...it's too dark!!!

We finally got all the pics done after 45 mins (no joke) of pleading, threatening, and bribing....and still have to see if the passport office will make us do it again.

Sigh.

What are your tips for getting passport pictures done with children?

Swimming and Superglue.

We went swimming at Cardel Place on Wednesday. It was so much fun! I have never seen such a cool pool before. Fountains, sprayers, a river, it was almost overstimulating for me. The best part? $3.75/per kid to get in. Seriously. :)
Keenan had so much fun, and Ryan had never been to a pool, so needless to say this water hating mama was forced to sit in a cold pool for more than an hour! But, really, an hour of being uncomfortable was well worth it when I saw how much my kids loved it, and how well they napped that afternoon. I think that a Wednesday swim may become a part of our weekly regime.
I saw a girl there that I know from Jr.High, it's funny that we change so much but can still recognize people. Took me a while to figure out where I knew her from because she had a baby as well...so it could have been from a variety of places. She actually figured it out before I did, small world!
And Superglue, I just quickly wanted to share a tidbit from the mouth of my super smart 3 year old. They are learning about Dino's and Volcano's in school and he was worried that the Volcano would cause a fire in our house, I assured him that wasnt the case. He went on to formulate why, and decided to tell me.
K: Mama do you know why a bocano wouldn't fire our house?
M: Tell me why.
K: 'Cause the contruction workers used superglue, and the bocano couldnt break it!

All powerful Super Glue to the rescue!