Lost Dog: Learning From My Kids Style

As a responsible pet owner I make sure that my kids are aware of how to act when there are stray dogs around, or when we come across another dog when we are out with our German Shepard Rotti.

Of course, my kids are actually useless when this happens in real life as I found out today.

As we were coming home from walking to the grocery store, we noticed a man asking people about 2 bichons running around all over the place. He called over and asked if they were mine as we started to unload in front of my house. I said no, and continued to unpack my groceries.

The Lost Dog

When I was done I noticed that the two dogs were running in between my house and my neighbours. I also noticed that one had tags - so I called it over and grabbed a look at the tag. I called the number and got no answer. These poor dogs were sweltering and it was over 25' C. I was worried that they may get into medical trouble so I decided that I should try and help. I called our local city by-law to report them.

While I was on the phone on my front porch with by-law, my kids were in the house and had decided to get water for the dogs, but they had also let my big German Shepard cross in the house as well. So when she came to the sidelight at the front door, she lost it. Barking and barking at these little dogs.

The by-law man told me to put the dogs somewhere where I could keep them safe - so I went around to the side gate as I knew my dog was inside and pulled the latch - broken. Typical.

I brought the dogs back onto the porch and told my son through the door to put our dog in the library. (where she is usually crated). He couldn't decide what to do with the water dish in his hands and slowly took it back to the kitchen as I turned the handle of our front door.....locked.

Not Impressed to be Locked in the Library.

Seriously?!?! Now I am on the phone with by-law while my minor children have locked me out of the house. I calmly tell my son to unlock the door and put the dog in the library...he complies. (all the while asking WHY?!?!?!)

I open the door slowly and the two dogs RUN into my house. My dog can see them through the glass doors in the library and tries to eat through the door. Our cat who is more like a dog than a cat arches his back and hisses - thoroughly freaking out the skittish dog and it runs out of my house and down the street. I can't leave my kids to run after it - so I accept the loss. I tried at least.

I convince the other dog that my couch is not as nice as my backyard and take him outside. I shut the door and leave some water for it outside. My kids really want to see the dog so they open the door and it comes back in...again there is rounding up of a dog who would much rather be inside and shoo-ing of children that have no fear of a stray dog!

My "Helpers"

Finally, 45 mins later the by-law truck comes and takes the dog away - asking me where the other one went...I tried to explain what happened but by then I was just happy to see the dog go.

So Happy to see this Truck!!

That is my good samaritan deed for a couple months at least!!

Monster Burgers and Severed Heads

I hope that you enjoyed yesterday's post on Halloween breakfast ideas.

Today I wanted to share a couple of my go-to recipes. A couple of my girlfriends feel that my week of Halloween themed food is just too hard to fit in to their busy lives, and yes it does look pretty complicated, but I promise that it isn't.

Monster Burgers and Severed Heads take absolutely no time at all and minimal planning. It's the one meal that you can just whip up within seconds and I promise that the kids will get so excited for it.

Monster Burgers


I got the inspiration for Monster Burgers from a girlfriend of mine named Gemma. She was always making incredible looking lunch ideas for her girls and Halloween was no exception.

Monster Burgers are easy enough, just take a burger - it can be Vegan, Vegetarian or 100% Beef and it will all work the same.

Make the burger as you would usually and then take a piece of bacon or Tempeh and place it so that it sticks out of the "mouth". Add some olives for eyes, and cut out shapes from peppers to add horns, or wings or whatever that you feel like doing with toothpicks! Get creative!

I like to cut out the shapes and leave the olives and cheese out so that the kids can make their own Monster creation. It is so much fun and not just for Halloween!

Severed Heads

If you can turn on an oven you can make Severed Heads.

Do I even have to explain it?

Take a bag of Smiles by McCain and bake them according to package directions. I like to over-bake them a little as it adds a "burned" look to the face.

Place them on the plate and add ketchup on their "neck" and Voila! Severed Heads. ;)

The great thing about these is that you can do a whole bunch of them at a time and you can add them to just about any dish.

I use them more than a couple times during the week before Halloween and they are such a hit. Pair them with a Mummy Dog and some Goblin Mouths (apple slices and almond slivers) and you have a great lunch!

And really, who doesn't like Burgers and Fries?

As always make sure that you are sharing your creations with me on Facebook or Twitter or in comments!

I love seeing what you come up with!

*Vlog* - Freaked Out

When my husband works out of town I have a tendency to stay up way too late after the kids go to bed. It could be because I need that time to recharge, because I miss him, because I like the silence…or just because I am completely addicted to social media. Of course, late nights and sleep deprivation are not always a good combo.
  Have you ever had a similar experience?

*Vlog* Car - Schooling

So now that I have explained a little bit more about homeschooling, I thought that you may all enjoy seeing me in action. Here is a new Vlog for you!

Well That is One Way to Justify Buying New Shoes.

My husband has gotten into triathlons lately and so when he said that he needed to go to a nearby nature park to go to an orientation for a triathlon the next day, we decided it would be nice to go for a walk. The weather was beautiful and we really had nothing to do, we were bored, and also out in the fresh air diminishes the fighting for a short time …  so we packed up the chariot, grabbed snacks, water, and the dog and headed out.

We got to the parking lot and I made sure that we had everything.
Sunscreen, check.
Water, check.
Snack, check.
Bugspray, check.
Dog, check.
Doggie Bags, check.
Kids…check.

We said goodbye to the husband and started walking down the path to the nature preserve. Not 1 mile into the walk my 7 year old starts to complain.

"I am hungry, I am tired, It's too hot" I told him that we had done this walk many many many times in the spring and that he liked it before. I also told him that he had better like it now since I just had to walk down a direct decline while holding a Chariot with 50+ pounds of children in it, also while holding the dog and PRAYING that I did not slip and send my children on the ride of their lives!!!

We made it down to the preserve and off of the bike path as the crazy athletes were busy practicing for thier race; wizzing by way too fast for me to keep the absentminded 7 year old out of their way. (and my insane dog that wanted to race beside them!)

The hike that we chose is a easy one - it's one big loop and would take about an hour at a quick pace to finish. We had done it during the spring thaw and finished in just under an hour - so I was hopeful that we would finish in the same time - and maybe even have time just to sit by the river and throw rocks.

Once we started walking my kids started to complain and fight with each other. My nice relaxing nature walk was filled with sounds of screaming, crying and yelling. I wanted to pull one of them out of the stroller but then we would be walking at a toddler pace, and it was WAY too hot to be doing that! I wanted to get out of the meadow and into the shade of the forest as fast as we could go. My eldest son agreed with me on the heat except he kept complaining that, "It is like we are in the middle of the desert!!"(over and over) Yes, it was hot, but we all had water and TWO of them were in the chariot. So really, the only one complaining should have been me (since I had to push it).

I had to keep pulling the dog close to me so not to stir up the mosquitos and try and keep the 7 year old in front of me because once he went behind me his mind would start to wander and his pace would slow to that of a snail. Not that I didn't want him to explore nature - but at a regular walking pace please. (and the trees were so, so close.)

After 20 mins in we had not even got to the halfway point, and the incredibly slow walking of the 7 year old caused the mosquitos to get a good foothold on my head. I managed to get a nice big bite right on the middle of my forehead. Of course the 7 year old continued to complain about the heat and now the bugs but did not realize that walking like a tortoise was the REASON it was so hot and the bugs were eating us alive. (I may have threatened him at this point.)

We stopped at a bench and these tourists that were far behind us when we started and then RAN past us when my kids started to scream, had been sitting for quite a while waiting to talk to me about the trial. I explained how long it was and they bailed…I thought of bailing too - but I liked the area, and my husband wasn't done for at least 2 more hours. So against my better judgement we drenched ourselves with bug spray and continued on. In the shade of the trees there were many more mosquitos but the walk was much quicker (if he stayed in front) and enjoyable. When we hit half way I heard the biggest boom of thunder. We hit a clearing by the river and I looked up.

Dark Storm Clouds Rolling In

I started to panic. We had about 45 mins left to walk (since our pace was still rather slow thanks to my child with his head in the clouds) and the storm looked like it was going to open up. The last thing I wanted was to get drenched. I thought if we could make it out of the woods and back on to the path - it would only take 15 mins to get to the van. 

So the question really was… could we outrun a storm in an hour? 

I am going to shorten this post and just tell you no. No we did not. 

Even though I yelled at my older child to run and repeatedly told my little children to stop fighting - and no they couldn't come out of the chariot, and kept pulling my dog along - even though she wanted to sniff every single tree in the woods… we did not make it. 

We did make it to the path after an hour of RUNNING through the forest… but that was it. 

Once it started raining the kids were super excited to be out in the rain. (my poor deprived kids)

Casually Checking Out the Raindrops

Starting to Rain

As we walked along the pathway feeling the light drizzle people were RUSHING past us to make it to their cars. My eldest commented on the fact that they were moving so fast - and I told him it was because it was a thunder storm.

As the thunder got louder and the rain harder, the little kids started to freak right out. The thunder was scaring the crap out of them, my dog was trying to bolt and I was thinking about the likelihood of getting struck by lightening. I put the two littles back in their seats. (with the rain cover down - lucky kids!!) And my eldest son FINALLY started to run…..

Guess He Didn't Like It Afterall. 

We got soaked. It took us 40 mins to get back to our van. Passing people under the bridge, under tress, in full rain gear. I just kept saying, this is an experience. You are soaking wet and you can't do anything about it, so just keep walking… then I looked down and realized I was wearing leather flats from Arnold Churgin…. grumble grumble. 

We finally made it to the medical tent where my husband was and grabbed a towel, and warmed up. The rain let up at that moment so we made a break for it to the van. 

Seriously Soaked.

Look At Their Shirts!

I actually had a change of clothes for all of them once we got to the van, and the sun came out so I let the Chariot and dog wait next to the van until my husband was done. (Still took him 20 more mins.)

I was actually pretty proud of myself. Another time I would have lost my cool, and probably dragged the older child or maybe threatened him with being eaten by a bear or cougar (which technically wouldn't have been a lie in a nature preserve), but instead I just laughed at the inevitability that is my family on an outing.

All Dry and Unscathed. 

Ahhhh….Preschoolers

I was talking on the phone with my cousin today and she demanded that I blog about what happened today and so without further adieu…..

My son is having trouble at his preschool. He isn't really the "sit down and listen" type… he is more of the "you told me what to do and now I am going to do the exact opposite" type; so needless to say this year of preschool has not gone by without its share of challenges.

He was assessed the other day with some learning challenges as the teachers would like him to have an aide who can basically hold his hand the whole day so that he *must* do what the other children are doing - or so that is my understanding…I am not really sure how I feel about this, so I decided that maybe I would shop around and see what other preschools have to offer.

There is this great community run - reggio - program that is close to my oldest son's school. I decided to give them a shot in the dark and see if maybe they had spaces left and by a stroke of luck they actually did! I made an appointment to take my middle child and go and check this school out for myself.

We arrived just as the other children were leaving, they looked like they enjoyed it. The school is 50 years old so it left somethings to the imagination as it could use some updating (but they are moving in june - so it will only be a short time until then.)

We walk in and introduce ourselves and my son decides that he would like to make the most awesome first impression ever.

I am just going to write it verbatim so that you can feel as it you were standing right there - better yet, pretend that it is your child and let the feelings of pride wash right over you.

Teacher - "Hi there, my name is X. What is your name?"
Son - "my name is X."
Teacher - "Nice to meet you X."
Son - "Are you going to have a baby?"
Now I need to mention that this teacher was slightly overweight, just so you can picture this exchange in your mind.
Teacher - "What? Oh no." Giggles. "I just had a big lunch!"
Me - awkward laugh. Forced grin.
Son - "Is your tummy hurtin'?"
Teacher - "No, I am feeling okay." Giggle.
Son - "Why do you have a big penis?" Pointing to the area under her belt.
Me - awkward laugh…"she doesn't have a penis, silly!"
Teacher - "I don't have a penis."
Son - "OH! I know!! You have a HUMONGOUS VAGINA!!"
Teacher - "I am sorry?" looking at me for clarification as it sounded like "Gi -na"
Me - whispering "He said that you have a big vagina"
Teacher - "oh!"
Son - "Why do you have such a big vagina?"
Me - "X. That is enough."
Son - "Mommy why does she have a big bum-"
Me - cutting him off, "Wow! X look at that kitchen over there!!!!!"
Son - "Mom why does she have-"
Me - Walking quickly towards the first toy I can find, "Wow!! this stuff is so cool!!!"

I don't think that I have ever been so embarrassed in my life. Honestly. Here I am hoping that this preschool will give me a warm and fuzzy feeling, and there goes my son yammering on about this poor woman and her weight. I felt like if the floor would open up and swallow me whole it would be preferable to the awkwardness that I felt after that meeting.

I know that kids speak their minds and this is what preschoolers do - and I am sure that the teacher was not horribly offended (I hope) but sometimes I wish it was socially acceptable to cover your child's mouth or kick them under the table so to speak while they continue to dig that hole in the middle of the room..




photo credit - Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos

Review of My First Crayola - Mess Free Marker and Paper.

I am not one to usually to do reviews but I promise that this is one that you will want to read to the end.

This review is on the Crayola "My First Crayola - Mess Free Marker and Paper."

I bought this particular product as my youngest loves to colour and his favourite canvas is my walls and so I thought that this particular product may be the very thing to teach him that paper is the way to go!

It's a cute marker. Looks like a cow, easy to hold and when paired with the paper it colours a rainbow.

We got to use this product for the first time at my older son's school as there was an important Parent Council Meeting that I did not want to miss and I did not have a sitter. I thought that surely the marker, some of the special "mess free" paper and a couple toys would help to keep them busy - it did - for about 20 mins… which is a great thing… point 1 for the Crayola marker!!

It actually kept my middle son really busy for a little while. He loved to remove the cap and scribble like mad and then give his creations to his friends.

He would giggle like mad as he was drawing and I really enjoyed watching him get som much pleasure from such a cute and easy to use art utensil. Point 2 for Crayola.

After he had been drawing for a couple minutes he came up to me and asked, "Mom, Do you know how this guy makes rainbows?"

I replied, "well, the paper is rainbow and the marker just shows you the rainbow where you draw on it."

He responds, "No. Like how he *makes* rainbows."

I say, "No, honey…why don't you show me."

He then shows me the little cow and says, "Well, mommy…first you have to take his pants off and then colour rainbow with his penis."

I sit trying hard not to burst out laughing (remember that I am in a meeting), although it was really difficult with the other moms around who had overheard as well.

He continues, "Mom! Mom! He PEES out the rainbows!!"

He then sits back on the floor and starts to draw again, giggling to himself and quietly whispering "pisssssssssssss" as he continued to happily draw on the paper.

I let him, point 3 for Crayola… capturing the true essence of what engages a 4 year old boy.

I for one have no idea why he would think it was a penis…. do you?? (lol)

So for my review.
1 star for being cute.
2 star for being easy to use.
3 stars for shooting rainbows out of a cow's penis much to the delight of little boys everywhere!!

A Mother's Nose

I am one of those moms that not only uses the daily bath to clean my incredibly dirty boys, but also to have them play for 30 mins or so while I fold laundry on the bathroom floor in front of them.
Its kind of a wind down ritual to our hectic day.

This particular day my older boys were done their bath, and had gotten pajamas on and started to play on the floor beside me while I continued to fold the continuous pile of laundry that was before me.

I smelt this faint very familiar smell, that I was interested to find the source. Having the two clean boys in front of me I asked…did you fart?

After peals of laughter they assured me that no, they had not. But, I could still smell it. I asked the younger, did you poop in your pants? No. I asked the older - knowing that he did not - if he had. No! Absolutley not.

I sat there for a moment - sniffing the air. Listening to my youngest one happily splash in the water. I looked over and noticed that the wetbag for my cloth diapers was open, and so I thought that it must be coming from there and continued to fold - and gave the 2 year old his 5 min warning.

As I said this warning, not really looking up from folding a 3 inch wet turd flew past my right ear and hit my wall. I spun around stood up, and a second one hit the floor right beside me.

I looked at my two year old, $h!t eating grin on his face (thank goodness not literally) with another peice of poo in his hand ready to throw.

"Poop?" he says. "Bum" he says. "Yes" I say. "No throw" I say.

Slowly walking towards the loaded weapon. (my other two boys in complete disbelief that I am not losing it…) He aims, and fires…near miss. (but to my relief all the ammo is gone from the tub.)

By now my bathroom really smells (the bathroom that I just spent the better part of the day cleaning and sanitizing) and there are poop smears and wet logs in many different spots.

I could have lost it…but, I didn't. :)

I kept my cool, took him out, washed him in my sink, cleaned all the poop up and put them all to bed….it was one of those moments in parenting where you could go either way - and I was sad I didn't have my camera.

When there is a will....

**Warning - This is one of those TMI posts about kids and poop.***

So my 3 year old is not potty trained.

We have tried EVERYTHING.

Stickers, stamps, star charts, no diapers, pull ups, just underwear, going every 30 minutes, going every 15 minutes, sitting before breakfast, sitting before bed, reading stories, playing games, yelling, threatining, bribing and giving up completely.

EVERYTHING.

So he knows where the poop and pee go, but he doesn't care. He would be happy to sit in filth all day long.

We are getting better. He is asking to go pee, and the fact that he learned how to stand and pee is making it a little better. It's a novelty, so he tries to go every so often.

Poop is a whole other story.

He used to hide...like under the sink. Most likely because he got yelled at. Yes, I know. Bad mom. Apology, apology, etc.

So the other day I am getting dinner ready, I have the older one talking my ear off about a new transformer and how it changes his perception of the universe; while his little baby brother tries to take his first steps between my legs as I am trying to pour pasta water out....and I notice the 3 year old is missing.

I know in my gut what he is doing. Mom intuition.

I RUN up the stair to catch him mid squat in the *carpeted* stairwell. He looks at me with a "Shoot! Mom caught me" look.

I pick him up without a word and take him to the potty. He says, "I had an accident mom."

I say, "I know." and then because I am frustrated and there is poo everywhere *just* beore eating dinner I say, "but you know what, you have to sleep in your own bed, because only boys that poop in the potty get to sleep with their brothers."

Fit ensues. Dinner, Bath, PJ's, Story....and then take him to his room. Fit continues.

I explain that until he poops in the potty he cant sleep in his brothers room. He RUNS to the bathroom, rips down his pull up, sits on the toilet and PUSHES like he is passing a gall stone. Goes red in the face, and poops out the *teeniest* poop he has ever done.

He looks at me and says, "I pooed in the potty mama! Now I get to sleep in Ks room!"

You got me there.

At Least it's Clean

I wanted to post this before I forgot. A snapshot in a day of the life with 3 small boys when your husband works away from home.

I have this couch in my garage. Don't ask me why or how it got there. Just know that it is in perfect (kidless) condition and will not fit down my stairs. Of course the fact that it is in my garage means that my van can not fit in the garage which means it needs to be sold.... perferably BEFORE the snow comes back.

I have put the couch on kiijjij and on craigslist etc. And have gotten a few bites. I have been keeping it set up and clean in the garage, just in case people want to see it. (which is hard...because it is in my garage...as well as the lawnmower, and gardening tools).

Yesterday I had made an appointment for a woman to come and look at my couch. She wanted to come around one. So at 11:30am I decided to start to wrangle the boys into their clothes so that they looked presentable when a stranger was to come.

At 12:30pm they were finally dressed. I threw them outside in the backyard to play on the swings while I put the baby in the carrier so that I wouldn't have to worry about him when the lady came.

I walked outside with the baby on my back and watched and felt my mouth go into a silent "O" of horror as I looked at my middle child, the 3 year old, hose in hand spraying directly into the garage, right beside the couch.

"I am cleaning it mama. The garage!" O.M.G

The lady was coming to look at this "mint" couch and my 3 year old was trying to give it a bath.

OY!

Needless to say the couch is still there. (not because it got wet, because he *just* missed it)

We will try again another day.

Impossible Passport Photos

We would like to take a holiday into the states later this year to visit family. We thought that we would drive since we really don't want to have to deal with any of the TSA drama that has been unfolding in the last couple months.

We also thought that it may be a good experiment to either A. See how insane we really are. or B. See if we can make it as far as it will take us to the cottage in the summer, and C. If we can make it there without killing ourselves, the kids or eachother (all in the figurate sense of course!)

So the trip (driving) is going to take us a minimum of 3 days. We know that to be realistic that it will probably take closer to 4 because we have 3 small children and a dog that will probably need to pee just as mush as the children do...so maybe 4 days isn't even realistic....hmmmm......

Anyway, because we are leaving our beautiful but COLD country and decided to go down to the warmer parts of the U.S of A. we needed to get passports. However, getting passport photos for 3 children under the age of 5 is a journey all in itself.

First of all they want your children to look straight on into the camera so that they can see *both* of their ears. This is almost impossible as kids look everywhere BUT where you tell them to. Second their mouths must be shut...ummm...so after you spend YEARS trying to get them to smile at the camera you are now telling them NOT to.

My five year old would not look at the camera even with bribing him to. I tried to no avail to get him to look straight, no smile, chin up, look straight, chin up....straight!!!! It was so frustrating. So finally after we got his picture done and on to the next kid to do this all over, the photog told us...it's too dark!!!

We finally got all the pics done after 45 mins (no joke) of pleading, threatening, and bribing....and still have to see if the passport office will make us do it again.

Sigh.

What are your tips for getting passport pictures done with children?

The Polite Thing

Picture this...you saved up all your money to buy a nice fancy car you have always wanted. You love the feel of the seats, the smell of the upholstery, the way that the engine purrs. You love it so much that you take it with you everywhere, and why wouldn't you? It's your favourite car.

One day you drive it to your mom's house for a dinner party. All your mom's friends are there and they gush about how cute you look in your new car. Your mom's best friend's daughter enters the room and tells you how much she would love a car like that.

You take people out to show it to them. You rev the engine. People love how shiny it is, and they comment on how great it is for you to have gotten it. You spend almost as much time in the party as you do outside admiring your new car.

Later in the evening you notice that your mom's friend's daughter has taken your keys and is attempting to drive away. You panic and run out side to stop her. Your mom grabs your arm and says, "Why not let Jenny have a turn? You have to share."

You get visibly upset. It is YOUR car! Why do you have to share it with anyone? You yell at your mom and say no! But, instead of your mom taking your side she tells you that you are not being a very nice child and that you have to learn how to share your things.

You are outraged! You kick and scream! You are so mad at Jenny for taking your car. No one is taking your side, and worse yet you are being punished for it.

You don't understand. You are so sad.

People laugh it off and say, "Ah that is life...everyone has to learn how to share."

But do we? Would you share your car if someone asked you to? Or how about if someone just came and took it....and maybe if you would, what if it was the one thing that meant the world to you...would you then?

Think about it for a second, and then ask your self why we expect our children to share if we as adults don't....

A Spectacle

If Shoppers could have charged for the hilarity that was my life today at their store they would have made some serious cash.

I knew that I shouldn't have taken my brood out today. I could tell this morning when they were all acting out; yelling and screaming and fighting with each other. Of course I understand why they are hard to handle...we are in the middle of moving, we are living with my mom (the grandparents) for a month, they have no schedule, their dad is working so much, it's the summer...I could go on and on.

But just because I understand where the behaviour is coming from doesn't mean that I have to accept it or enjoy it.

So back to Shoppers. I had to get my mail changed over because we are no longer in the townhouse. Of course I had to take ALL 3 kids with me so it was fun for the whole family.

The cash line was going incredibly slow and I had the bigger two strapped into the stroller. The baby was sleeping peacefully in the wrap.

The two bigger boys started to hit each other enough that another mom stopped and asked them to stop fighting with each other. She tried to explain to my sons that they should be nice to each other and they responded by hitting and yelling louder.

I decided to pick up the middle child and hold his hand and leave the biggest one in the chariot with the brakes on. The middle screamed to be let go and the bigger one rocked the chariot trying to kick over the display. (and cue the baby in the wrap needing to feed.)

I just wanted to get out of there, as fast as I possibly could.

Finally at the point of meltdown I threw my kids into the stroller and attempted to leave...and then the peanut gallery really showed its face.

I squeezed my double chariot through the first set of doors and then tried to push it through the second....and got stuck.

Somehow the doors of Shoppers are big enough to accommodate a double Chariot to get in...but not out.

I felt like I was going to cry. I had 3 children melting and I was stuck in the vestibule of Shoppers with many many people watching...some laughing, some staring, and some shifting uncomfortably.

I ended up taking the kids out, taking the wheels off and SHOVING it out of the doors.

Goodness!!!

And The Saga Continues

So a couple days ago when I was just about at my wits end, my children decided that they didnt need any sleep. So at 3 am boy child two woke up, and then at 4 am boy child three woke up. Now this would not have been such an issue IF they had both decided to go back to sleep...however, that didnt happen...and it also didnt help that I have been trying to get "me" time in the evening, which meant that I did not go to sleep myself until after 1am.

So after all this being sleep deprived and grumpy my good friend asked me if she could take my kids for the afternoon so that I could just have a nap with the little one. I took her up on her offer immediately, as I was so tired. Knowing that this was going to happen in the afternoon made the morning a much nicer time. We got ready for 1 pm and we all packed up and went to the van.

As soon as I pulled on my automatic sliding doors I knew something was wrong...they were not so "automatic"...I thought to myself, "Did K leave the lights on?" > even though I told him not to touch the interior lights...

I put my keys in and tried to turn it over. Dead.

I started to panic. Not only was I going to miss my nap, but my husband was not going to be home for 5 days. I thought 5 days without escape would be way too much for me. I told K that the van was dead and had the biggest temper tantrum ever. I was weirdly calm...which is probably because this was just too much. If anything could have happened it kept happening. It was like Karma was coming and kicking my butt.

I called my friend in a panic, telling her that we couldnt come, that I was mourning my nap and that I was going to lose it. (which I did, but having said this it was the first time that I cried since having the baby)...she calmed me down and asked if I had AMA. Which I did.

It was like a light at the end of the tunnel. I had forgotten that I had AMA because I dont drive POS cars anymore, so I have not had to use it. ;P

They came in 40 mins and boosted my van, which made me so relieved as I thought that I would have to go get my second car (which is for sale) drive it to the garage, and then put the van in neutral and try to push it out of the garage and boost my van....with 3 kids....

I drove to my friends house and she watched my kids for 2 hrs, I went right home and napped. I was woken at 4pm by the phone ringing, I thought it was my friend calling so I answered it.

No, it was my Mother In Law, who my husband had told me we had re-scheduled, telling me that she would be arriving momentarily.

Now, this wasnt the issue, the issue was that IF I had known that they would be visiting I would have cleaned instead of napping...so I put the baby gates up and kept them in my living room...

When it rains it pours. :)

ps. Did you know that Graves Disease is caused by Stress??? NO KIDDING

The Maiden Voyage

Imagine if you will, a newly minted mom of three decides to enroll her eldest son in soccer. The first game is the second day that she is single parenting for eight days. She has most of her routine figured out at home, but she is still trying to figure out how to juggle three children outside of the house.

So picture this, a Van pulls up to a soccer field and the doors open. A mom jumps out and runs to the other side of the vehicle to pick up a screaming baby that looks to be 2 weeks old. He is starving and all he wants is to be comforted and to get a little milk. She holds him in one hand as she unbuckles a 2 year old. Once the 2 year old is free he bee-lines it out of the van and runs into the field. The mother grabs the two year old and goes back to unbuckle the 4 year old.

The 4 year old decided that before he went to soccer that he wanted to wear his rubber boots, but upon arriving and noticing that none of the other children are wearing boots he decides that he wants to wear his shoes.

So he sits on the sidewalk and asks his mom to put them on. She tries to with little success as the baby is still crying and the 2 year old keeps trying to escape.

Another mom with older kids approaches the mom and asks if she can help, "because I have three and know what it is like." The newly minted mom gives the more experienced mom the newborn and says "He is just really hungry, as soon as I get this one to practice I can feed the baby."

The 4 year olds shoes are put on and the mom takes the baby in one hand, and carries her bag, and a long piece of fabric in the other hand. She orders the older children to follow her....the wrong way.

Once the mom has realized she has gone the wrong way, she quickly changes course. She has now decided to just undo her tank and start nursing while walking as the baby was becoming frantic.

They finally make it to the right field, once they get there the coach throws a shirt and pair of socks at the 4 year old and says, "get your mom to help put those on." The mom looks at the socks and shirt, and digs out the shin pads from her bag. She attempts to put them on but she only has one free hand and her 2 year old keeps running away. She puts her leg over the 2 year old so he cannot run anymore and tries in vain to put the socks and shoes on. Another mom shows up (happens to be a friend) and the mom BEGS her to put the shoes and socks on the child. She does. She then asks the mom to hold the infant as she wraps the long piece of fabric around her, as it is cold the mom does a crappy tie and shoves the infant in and latches him on. She then runs after the two year old for a whole hour. The fabric keeps coming undone and she gets stares and comments from those around her about coldness, activity level of the two year old, and comments about the fabric.

Once the game is done the mom gives the kids a snack and while the two year old is occupied with eating she re-ties the fabric properly.

They pack up and start for the van. She now has a soccer ball in one hand, and a bag and a water bottle in the other. The baby is close to her chest and she looks confident. She tells the two boys to run to the van and as the two year old gets to the cement he trips and eats cement. His front lip is cut open and he is hysterical. He goes blue and passes out, the mom doesnt look too concerned, and if you asked her what she was thinking she would reply, "Can it get any worse?!" The mom drops everything in her hands and picks up the lifeless body of the two year old to the van. She squishes the baby in the wrap in the process who then starts to cry. The four year old starts crying as well as he is scared that his brother passed out.

The mom places the child on the front seat and blows in his face and flicks his ears to wake him up. He takes a huge breath and starts to scream unconsolable. The mom then hugs and kisses the two year old until he calms down.

She puts the 4 year old in his carseat, buckles him in and re-assures him that everything is okay. Buckles in the 2 year old and promises a popsicle for his lip when they get home. Buckles in the 2 week old and caresses his head. She then climbs into the drivers seat, takes a deep breath and starts the van, and closes the doors.

Swimming and Superglue.

We went swimming at Cardel Place on Wednesday. It was so much fun! I have never seen such a cool pool before. Fountains, sprayers, a river, it was almost overstimulating for me. The best part? $3.75/per kid to get in. Seriously. :)
Keenan had so much fun, and Ryan had never been to a pool, so needless to say this water hating mama was forced to sit in a cold pool for more than an hour! But, really, an hour of being uncomfortable was well worth it when I saw how much my kids loved it, and how well they napped that afternoon. I think that a Wednesday swim may become a part of our weekly regime.
I saw a girl there that I know from Jr.High, it's funny that we change so much but can still recognize people. Took me a while to figure out where I knew her from because she had a baby as well...so it could have been from a variety of places. She actually figured it out before I did, small world!
And Superglue, I just quickly wanted to share a tidbit from the mouth of my super smart 3 year old. They are learning about Dino's and Volcano's in school and he was worried that the Volcano would cause a fire in our house, I assured him that wasnt the case. He went on to formulate why, and decided to tell me.
K: Mama do you know why a bocano wouldn't fire our house?
M: Tell me why.
K: 'Cause the contruction workers used superglue, and the bocano couldnt break it!

All powerful Super Glue to the rescue!

My Adventures in Potty Training

So, I was ready to bite the bullet and go "pull up" - less. (in reality too lazy to go to the store and buy more), and so Keenan has been in underwear for almost a week. Not a whole week dry mind you, just a whole week without pullups.
And in this week, he has peed in more places than I can count.

The most embarrassing...Benjamin Moore. On a chair no less. I am sitting there with him looking at swatches when he says "I want to go potty." I look at him, pee running down his legs and onto his brand new shoes and soaking in the chair. Not wanting to cause a scene I calmly told chris to take him to the car,and change him (forgetting that was his last pair of pants I had). The sales woman came back to help me, so I placed the pillowcase on the offending chair (acting like I had dropped it), and pressed my knee in....trying to soak up the pee.
I quickly chose a swatch, declining the woman's offer to help carry the pillowcase to the till, I paid and got the heck out of there. (thank god they were closing).

The most disgusting...we went to the natropath and he was holding #2 in, so we used a pullup (in case) and while we were chatting with her, he went into the corner and filled his pants. I had to ask for a key to get into the bathroom, all the while keenan waddling behind me.
I ut him on the change table pulled down his pants, and poop explosion. All down his legs, his pants, his socks! I used my hole carton of wipes. I couldnt put his pants back on, so I washed his legs in the sink, put him down and started to wash my hands....it was then that I noticed that the person before us had clogged the toilet and that it was now starting to overflow on the floor. I yelled, "stop,stop" but keenan didnt know why and continued to walk and slip into the dirty toilet water.
So into the sink again.
After he had his second bath in the sink I wrapped him up in my jacket and took him to the car.
Chris asked "what happened? I thought you were changing his bum?" I just laughed and laughed and laughed as Keenan said "Im naked outside, daddy."

And Chris wonders why I don't like to leave the house when he is not home.

Mom I am!

Mom I Am
Written by the posters on the Mom's Online Breastfeeding Board

Little ones can squirm and pout,
make a fuss and scream and shout.
When hunger hits without a doubt,
Sit right down and whip it out.

I would nurse her if she cried,
I could nurse her far and wide,
Here and there or anywhere,
Up or down or on a chair.
I could nurse a teddy bear,
For this fine milk is very rare!!!

Would you nurse him on a train?
Would you nurse him on a plane?
Would you nurse him in a car?
Would you nurse him in a bar?

Yes, on a train, yes on a plane.
Yes, in a car, yes in a bar.
I would nurse him here or there.
I would nurse him anywhere!

I would nurse him in a booth,
On the stairs or near the roof.
Anywhere my boy cries out,
I pop the nummies in his mouth.

I can serve it by the ounce,
I can serve it while I bounce.
In a bottle or in a jar,
I can serve from near or far.

Would you, could you nurse in church?
Would you on a shaky perch?
Would you, could you, in the stands?
Could you nurse him with no hands?

I would, I could nurse in church,
Even on a shaky perch.
In the stands, with no hands,
I'll nurse my baby on demand.

Would you nurse him at the store?
Would you nurse him on the floor?
Would you nurse him on a ship?
Careful not to show your nip!
Would you nurse him while on skis?
Would you nurse her on your knees?
Would you nurse him in a tree?
Mommy milk is SO GOOD, you see.

Would you nurse him by the stream?
You could nurse him while you dream.
Can you nurse and clean the house?
Can you nurse and chase a mouse?
Can you nurse and cook a meal?
Mommy's milk is the real deal!

Would you nurse him while you sleep?
How about while you sweep?
Could you nurse him in a sling?
Would you, could you, while you sing?
How about upon a swing?
Mother's milk is just the thing!

Would you nurse her at the park?
Would you nurse him in the dark?
Would you nurse him with a Boppy?
And when your boobs are feeling floppy?

I would nurse him in the park,
I would nurse her in the dark.
I'd nurse with or without a Boppy.
Floppy boobs will never stop me.

Can you nurse with your seatbelt on?
Can you nurse from dusk till dawn?
Though she may pinch me, bite me, pull,
I will nurse her 'till she's full!

Can you nurse and make some soup?
Can you nurse and feed the group?
It makes her healthy strong and smart,
Mommy's milk is the best start!

Would you nurse him at the game?
Would you nurse her in the rain?
In front of those who dare complain?

I would nurse him at the game.
I would nurse her in the rain.
As for those who protest lactation,
I have a perfect explanation.
Mommy milk is tailor made
It's perfect food, you need no aid..

Some may scoff and some may wriggle,
Avert their eyes or even giggle.
To those who can be cruel and rude,
Remind them breast's the perfect food!

I would never scoff or giggle,
Roll my eyes or even wiggle!
I would not be so crass or crude,
I KNOW that milk's the perfect food!

We make the right amount we need,
The perfect temp for every feed.
There's no compare to milk from breast---
The perfect food, above the rest.

Those nursing smiles are oh so sweet,
Mommy milk is such a treat.
Human milk just can't be beat.

I will nurse, in any case,
On the street or in your face.
I will not let my baby cry,
I'll meet her needs, I'll always try.
It's not about what's good for you,
It's best for babies, through and through.

I will nurse her in my home,
I will nurse her when I roam.
Leave me be lads, leave me be ma'am.
I will nurse her, mom I am.

A Glimpse

C.A.A.D.D.


If you have been secretly wondering what is wrong with me, I now have the
answer...

Recently, I was diagnosed with C. A. A. D. D. (Child Activated Attention
Deficit Disorder)

This is how it manifests:

I decide to do the laundry. As I start toward the basement, I notice that
there are cheerios all over the floor and my car keys are in the cereal bowl


I decide to pick up the cheerios before I do the laundry. I lay my car keys
down on the counter, put the cheerios in the trash can under the counter,
and notice that the trash can is full. So, I decide to take out the trash.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the
trash I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table,
and see that there is only one check left, my extra checks are in my desk in
the office/playroom, so I go to my desk where I find a sippy cup full of
juice. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I decide I should put the
sippy cup in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the sippy cup a vase of flowers on the
counter catches my eye - they need to be watered. I set the sippy cup on the
counter, and I discover baby wipes that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back in the bathroom, but first I'm going to
water the flowers.

I set the wipes back down and splash some water on the flowers, but most of
it spills on the floor. So, I get some paper towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the laundry isn't washed, the bills aren't paid,
there is a warm cup of juice sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't
watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can't find the
wipes, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled
because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message, because I don't remember to
whom it has been sent.

Don't laugh - if this isn't you yet, your day is coming.