Breastfeeding Challenge Results!

http://www.babyfrie ndly.ca/challeng e/2006/site_ result.php

We came in first place! Well, first place in Alberta. We had so many moms and kids and dads and support people show up. Also, CTV and Global came and took video. I didn't make it on TV. Poopy. I even washed my hair, you know, just in case.
My good friend Lindsay did, as she was the "spokesperson." So proud of her!
Keenan and I participated in a wrap fashion show and had a blast. The *funniest* part about the entire event was that Keenan was nursing constantly in the morning before the challenge, because he had missed his morning nurse, but when it came time to "latch on" he just wasn't interested. So funny. He will nurse all day every day, but not when you want him to.
Too funny. My boy he certainly is developing his own ideas about things.

Sleep Please

So this morning I lost it. Last night was hellish getting Keenan to go to bed. I had so many other things that could have been getting done, but instead I was there nursing, nursing , nursing for over an hour. It wouldn't have been so bad if Chris wasn't passed out next to me.
He has sleep apnea, and doesnt get a whole lot of sleep because of his job, and I respect that. So I let him sleep. Whenever. But recently, with the whole Keenan sleeping issues I am starting to resent Chris for having the ability to sleep, whenever, where ever. It makes me so mad when I hear him snoring and I am up for yet another hour tending to his son.
So this morning I lost it. I had a heck of a time falling asleep last night. Since my schedule is so messed up from weeks of random sleep. I think I finally fell asleep around 1 - 1 :30am, and there was Keenan waking up to nurse at 6am, for a whole hour. Needless to say, he woke me up. So by 7:10am I was just fuming. That I hadn't gotten any sleep, that my hubby was sleeping through this, and that it was 7am and I was awake.
So I got out of bed and let Chris deal with it. Keenan cried and cried. I feel so guilty. But at the same time I feel like if something doesnt change I am going to be a very mean person.
Does this constitute Crying-it-out? Some people may say yes, and I think it is to an extent. But I also think that all the attachment parenting I have done up to this point will be devalued if I continue to feel resentment towards my son and hubby.
All I am asking for is a break. Maybe one night of uninterupted sleep? Or to be able to sleep in once a month? I don't think that it is too much to ask for Chris to put Keenan down once in a while. We are both his parents, we should have to share the easy stuff and the hard stuff, and maybe that way we will all get some sleep.

The Crib

"Well, How did it go" you may ask.
After almost a week of sidecaring the crib, I have to say "not too bad."
The first night I was a total wreak, I kept thinking, is he breathing? I can't even fathom what the mother's that let thier children "cry-it-out" are thinking/feeling. I don't even try to understand it.
Keenan now sleeps the first half of the night in his crib and the rest in my arms. It works great as we don't disturb him when we go to bed, and I can fall asleep without the little body kicking me, and then when I am super tired he comes in next to us and we all sleep peacefully.
Mind you he is nursing like crazy, that damn tooth just won't come through. But I know it's because of his poor teeth and he will soon be back on some resemblance of a schedule before his new girlfriend comes to stay with us for two days a week..we will call her G for privacy sake.
Since he is now in his crib we are moving the office into the Crib's old room and moving the change table into the old office. That way when I am working on the computer Keenan has more of a playroom to play in.
What is the point of having "keenan's room" if he never sleeps in it???
I honestly don't see him moving out of our room until the new baby comes, whenever that will be. (soon I hope)

Big Boy

*sigh*
The last couple nights have been really hard. I totally jinxed myself by telling people that Keenan is a good sleeper. He WAS a good sleeper. The last 4 nights he has been up all night crying and moving and just not falling asleep until 6am, making Chris and I ... well... angry. We tried everything; boobie, tylenol (teething), not feeing him too late (upset tummy), too early (hungry), short pj's(hot), long p.j's (cold), yesterday I was so mad that I wasn't getting my sleep. I was seething. But I kept it all in there and continued to work with Keenan. He finally feel asleep when Chris couldn't take it and moved off the bed.
Then it donned on us. He sleeps great UNTIL we get in the bed. Then he can't sleep.
Now you all know what an avid co-sleeper I am. Ever since day one he has been in in our bed. So today when we decided to sidecar the crib. I wept.
Not because I am sad. I am happy, I know he is growing up, and maybe sleeping with him is putting my needs first, not OURS.
I don't know if this will work. But he is in there. In the Crib that I thought would never see the light of day. Maybe it's time that he had his own bed.
As I write this I am still weaping. I love him so much, and I love to hold him and smell him and nurse him all night. But, he is not my little baby any more, he is alomost 1 and 1/2, and becoming more and more independent everyday. Becoming a strong, intellectual, stubborn, shy, caring, friendly, outgoing, playful little boy, who will always ALWAYS be welcome in my bed. If HE wants to.

Changing the way you AP

Chris and I were just talking about this exact topic tonight as Keenan is 16months and begining to show us his independence and frustrations (in the form of screaming and/or biting).
As I tried to put Keenan down for the 3rd time in 3 hours > 9pm, nurse 30mins give up, 10pm nurse 30 mins, give up, 11pm nurse 40mins (asleep!) I lost my temper with DH saying that I really needed a break and perhaps he should put Keenan down. He told me that I chose to be an Attachment Parent and that I had said that in order to be AP you have to sacrifice. And my form of sacrifice is nursing Keenan to sleep, it may take 10mins one day and 2hrs the next but I honestly have no idea what else to do.
Chris and I are not willing to let him "cry it out" even in loving arms, and so we have to nurse down.
But sometimes when he just won't go to sleep and I want to go do something else after a long day, it makes me want to scream! :P
But, I digress, I totally agree that AP'ing a baby is easy, babywear, breast/or bottle feed in love, be in tune with that child etc. But as a toddler or older, they say NO, they have thier own ideas...and you are tired, not sleep deprived newborn tired, tired as in "Please stop touching that for the millionth time, yes that is a dog outside, please please please go to sleep"
I just try to think in a positive light and that Keenan will only be young for a short time, and I really wouldn't change it for the world. My child is so loving and sensitive and empathetic, because I nurse and hug and listen to him even when I just want him to be sleeping!

Breastfeeding Challenge

Can I go a week without talking about Breastfeeding? Nope, I have to be totally obsessed! The Calgary Attachment Parenting Group is sponsoringing the first annual Brastfeeding Challenge at Eau Claire Market on Sapt 30. Registration is at 10:30am, latch on is at 11.
What exactly is a breastfeeding challenge, you may ask. Well, it's not nursing to see how fast one's child can eat, or seeing how far your milk can spray (picturing squimish guys), it's basically seeing the ratio of babies latched on at the challenge to Calgary's birthrate. The Challenge part is if we can beat the other cities participating in the challenge.
"you mean it's not just kooky people in Calgary?" No! The breastfeeding challenge is to celebrate world breastfeeding week, so city's across Canada and the Us are participating.
www.babyfriendly.com
I would like to voulenteer, but I am so busy. I know it's a cop out. I do help when asked though.

Dead Wasp

Poor Keenan!
As we were going for our walk today, keenan walks beside me picking up
rocks, he reached down to touch a spinkler and starts screaming.
I grab his hand and see a wasp attached to it. I shake his hand trying
to get the wasp off, it doesn't budge. Meanwhile Keenan is still
screaming. I flick the wasp off take the stinger out and run home.
I call my DH at work, not available, he is out on a call (EMS). So I
call heath link, the nurse tells me to ice the site. I look everywhere
for an ice pack, don't have one. She says how about a freezie? I have
one of those, Keenan is still screaming, as I am cutting the top off
the freezie I give Keenan the boob, he crys a little telling me that
it really hurts, I tell him it's okay and that mama will make it
better. He latchs on oand the nurse comments "frezzies everytime!" I
reply actually he doesn't like freezies, I am nursing him." She
replies "even better".
So I really didn't need any advice, when in doubt use the boob!
FYI he didn't want the freezie.

If I were a cat...

I would have one less life!!
Okay I just had to post this, so typically me!!
Chris is on tour right now so I am home sans DH, so I tend to get a little freaked out easier. All yesterday I thought I could smell plastic burning. So I unplugged everything and spent an hour in my kitchen "sniffing" around. (Keenan thought this was hilarious btw)
I couldn't seem to find the source so I just forgot about it. But before I went to be I double checked to make sure everything was unplugged and turned off.
Around 8 this morning, I roused and thought I could smell smoke, but I assured myself that everything was off and unplugged and really, if there was a fire I have smoke detectors, so I feel back to sleep.
I woke up around 10:30 to a roaring noise. Was it a plane? No. Sounds like water, high pressure water on the side of the house. What was it?
OMG it's high pressure water...firehoses?? OMG there must be a fire in one of the units, and we must have slept through the alarms, or the door bell, and no one knows we are in here!!
So I rushed to the window threw open the shutters, expecting firetrucks and engines and...
suprised two window washers, not expecting to see a woman throw open her window in her underware!!
LOL

Stop the insanity!!!

Sometimes I wonder. What are people thinking. Well as you can tell from the subject on my blog, it is really just me surfing the web finding articles that piss me off and then sharing them with all of you.
As a fan of Shalom in the Home on TLC I was suprised when I read the following article, where Rabbi Schmuli has issues with people breastfeeding to *GASP* 11 months old, whereas the womans breasts are "de-eroticized" and marrigaes suffer for it. http://www.beliefnet.com/story/194/story_19451_1.html
His solution, cover up. Even at home. Where do we live? Canada, America? And we liberated women can not even feed our children from our breasts because our hubby's will be less likely to have a stiffy?
Give me a break! A man should be so lucky to have a wife that cares about his child so much that she sacrifices her time and body for the betterment of her child.
Oh and men, while we are at it, make sure that you are present at the birth of your child, just don't look down. Because as you know the vagina was created soley for your pleasure and seeing your child emerge from there won't make you want to have sex with your wife.
Better yet, convince her to have a c-section!! Yea that's it, an elective c-section will make sure that she has trouble producing milk, so you can bottle feed and don't have to share *your* breasts with your child, and the baby doesn't even come through the vagina, so you won't EVER have to worry about throwing the proverbial hotdog down that hallway!
Thank you Rabbi Shumuli! I am so happy to finally understand what my purpose in life is, to be my husbands sexual plaything no better than an oversized eroticized blow up doll.

Back From Ontario

And we absolutley loved it. I a however still on Ont time so to me it is 1:44am. I am so tired.
I just wanted to give an update,
Keenan is walking all over the place. Still like a wobbly sailor but so cute and so mobile. He can disapear really quick, one moment he is here the next gone.
Most memorible thing that happened in Ontario.
We went on a 2hr boat ride to a place called Parry Sound and had lunch. Getting there was great, no real waves, smooth ride all the way there.
The way back, however, is a total different story.
Bounce, bounce, bow-bounce, bounce. The waves we hard and frequent. Keenan had missed his nap and the violent bouncing of the boat scared him. So what did he do (remeber he couldn't nurse because of the lifejacket)
He slept. The whole way.
I have no idea how a kid who does not nap anywhere but in his bed could sleep while bouncing like that. No rythm, irratic, hard bouncing. And he sleeps the whole way.
Unbelievable.
I am happy to be home though. Ahhh.