That mean mom

Okay, I might have been a bit of a "you know what" today.
Keenan and I walked 20mins to a park that is more toddler friendly, smaller equipment and lower slides. We stayed for quite a while. We were there later than ususal because he had gotten up so early so therefore had a way earlier nap. So mom's come to the park around 3:30pm, I know one of them and start talking. 2 other mom's show up.
It turns out that the elementary school bus drops kids off right next to this park, so the mom's get together and chat and wait for thier older kids to come off the bus.
So Keenan is playing happily with the younger kids.
Then the bus pulls up. 5 or 6 kids get off and come right to the park. They start throwing rocks and rough housing. They start to climb on equipment that is not meant to be climbed on. (oldest maybe 11yrs old). Anyway they are all modeling behaviour that I dont want Keenan to witness.
The mom's do nothing. They just keep talking. Chaos is alround Keenan and he is taking it all in in wide eyed wonder.
One child is throwing gravel in the air and it is hitting all of the children (he is around 7ish). The gravel hits Keenan, and I say to the boy, " We do not throw gravel at babies ". He looks at me like "WTF? Who are you to tell me anything?".
So I decide to remove Keenan from the situation.
I walk over to the mom's and say, " It was nice meeting you ladies, but I am going to have to take Keenan home as the older children are modeling bad, bad, bad dangerous behaviour that I don't want Keenan learning."
The mom I know says, " Oh, that's my son, sorry " I say, " It's all the older children, not just yours."
I was kind of irritated because it is a toddler park and those kids should have gone somewhere else.
What have I become, that mean mom?
My girlfriend with a 4yr old said that I can't shelter Keenan forever and he will witness worse stuff than climbing on eqipment and throwing gravel. I know, but I can lessen the impact, can't I?
Or am I just blowing it out of proportion?

Sleep Please

So this morning I lost it. Last night was hellish getting Keenan to go to bed. I had so many other things that could have been getting done, but instead I was there nursing, nursing , nursing for over an hour. It wouldn't have been so bad if Chris wasn't passed out next to me.
He has sleep apnea, and doesnt get a whole lot of sleep because of his job, and I respect that. So I let him sleep. Whenever. But recently, with the whole Keenan sleeping issues I am starting to resent Chris for having the ability to sleep, whenever, where ever. It makes me so mad when I hear him snoring and I am up for yet another hour tending to his son.
So this morning I lost it. I had a heck of a time falling asleep last night. Since my schedule is so messed up from weeks of random sleep. I think I finally fell asleep around 1 - 1 :30am, and there was Keenan waking up to nurse at 6am, for a whole hour. Needless to say, he woke me up. So by 7:10am I was just fuming. That I hadn't gotten any sleep, that my hubby was sleeping through this, and that it was 7am and I was awake.
So I got out of bed and let Chris deal with it. Keenan cried and cried. I feel so guilty. But at the same time I feel like if something doesnt change I am going to be a very mean person.
Does this constitute Crying-it-out? Some people may say yes, and I think it is to an extent. But I also think that all the attachment parenting I have done up to this point will be devalued if I continue to feel resentment towards my son and hubby.
All I am asking for is a break. Maybe one night of uninterupted sleep? Or to be able to sleep in once a month? I don't think that it is too much to ask for Chris to put Keenan down once in a while. We are both his parents, we should have to share the easy stuff and the hard stuff, and maybe that way we will all get some sleep.

Changing the way you AP

Chris and I were just talking about this exact topic tonight as Keenan is 16months and begining to show us his independence and frustrations (in the form of screaming and/or biting).
As I tried to put Keenan down for the 3rd time in 3 hours > 9pm, nurse 30mins give up, 10pm nurse 30 mins, give up, 11pm nurse 40mins (asleep!) I lost my temper with DH saying that I really needed a break and perhaps he should put Keenan down. He told me that I chose to be an Attachment Parent and that I had said that in order to be AP you have to sacrifice. And my form of sacrifice is nursing Keenan to sleep, it may take 10mins one day and 2hrs the next but I honestly have no idea what else to do.
Chris and I are not willing to let him "cry it out" even in loving arms, and so we have to nurse down.
But sometimes when he just won't go to sleep and I want to go do something else after a long day, it makes me want to scream! :P
But, I digress, I totally agree that AP'ing a baby is easy, babywear, breast/or bottle feed in love, be in tune with that child etc. But as a toddler or older, they say NO, they have thier own ideas...and you are tired, not sleep deprived newborn tired, tired as in "Please stop touching that for the millionth time, yes that is a dog outside, please please please go to sleep"
I just try to think in a positive light and that Keenan will only be young for a short time, and I really wouldn't change it for the world. My child is so loving and sensitive and empathetic, because I nurse and hug and listen to him even when I just want him to be sleeping!