Fall from Grace

I have learned alot these last few weeks/days. Things about myself, things about my friends, things about my peers, things about communities that I hold dear.
A couple weeks ago a friend of mine was treated very badly. To me the situation did not feel like it was rectified in a just or timely manner. Of course it was bogged down in office politics. I felt that it was my duty as a friend to step in and protect her character.
I am not the type of person that pussy foots, or plays office politics so I came right out and said what exactly had happened. Of course those playing the game were pissed, and when I tried to show them why I did what I did, I was shot down.
A shit disturber. A common gossip. I didn't really expect much else. (well I actually did, but now in hindsight I am not sure why).
The reason why all of this affected me so much is that I am an idealist. I really thought that the group of women that I converse and call my peers were better than highschoolers. I thought that as we grow older we are more compassionate, we have more knowledge, more integrity. I now know that is not the case.
No matter what group you belong to women are still that women. Catty, bitchy, and all that.
I had placed my Attachment Parenting counterparts on a somewhat higher level than all other women. That they would never treat another in their group with disrespect or callousness. I was shown that I was wrong, not once but time and time again.
I really learned from this. I learned not to be so idealistic. I learned not to place such high expectations on other women. I learned that people just want to believe what they believe regardless of the facts. (and this is why politics move so slowly as the Shit Disturber is the one who gets shot).
I have realized that I have placed too much time and effort into a group of people that I thought were just like me. Same morals, same values, same need for justice...I was really wrong. Just because these moms don't CIO and respond to their children's needs doesn't mean that they are like me.
I honestly think that few are. It's sad really. I feel alone alot. That I care so much about people and our human race and I get jilted again and again. Makes it hard to want to help. Just makes me feel like moving to an island somewhere with my family and letting the rest of the world to go to shit. (like it will anyway).
I do have wonderful friends from my AP community, and not all of the women need to be painted with the same brush, I am just feeling disenchanted with the world.
If my friends read this I want to thank them again for all of the unspoken/spoken support they have offered me. If not for them I would just move away and wash my hands of all the drama and bullshit...and most of all the hypocrisies.
I mean really, call me names...but really once you do that you are just being a shit disterber, a common gossip, a hypocrite.
ps. I know this is the most colourful language I have ever used on my blog, but this is my journal, and I am just writing what I feel. From the deepest part of my head and heart. Those who know me, know that I must be mad if I am swearing. lol

Walk in my shoes says Paramedic.

This is re printed without permission from the Health Sciences Association of Alberta newsletter, written by a paramedic who is responding to the backlash from the pubic regarding the City of Calgary EMS (surrounding areas) impending strike. (Please SUPPORT your local EMS).

I thought that it would be good for all of you to see what Paramedics/ EMS workers (like my husband) have to deal with while being paid $27> on average an hour.

I am writing to express my disappointment in an editorial that I read in my local newspaper. The article complained that the paramedics in Flagstaff county should not strike and seemed to suggest that neither should they be unionized. This opinion is borne of a deep ignorance of the nature of paramedicine in this province. After convocating from university with a B.Sc., I spent another five years of studying day and night, sleeping on stretchers and working for a little as $50 per 24 hour day to become a paramedic. This is not the two week first aid course that the public assumes that it is!

The editorial questioned our "dedication and commitment". Everyday I show up to work and make less money than the high-school student pouring coffee at Tim's. This is a demonstration of my commitment. When you've had to intubate a newborn baby, pronounce someone's grandmother dead, or choose who lives and who dies because there are not enough resources to deal with the mess on our highways, then you and I can have an informed discussion about my commitment.

You say that we should not be an essential service and be denied our right to strike. You don't realize that we've already been denied the rights and legislated labour standards afforded every other profession in this province. We work shifts ranging from 24 to 96 hours in length sometimes with no breaks at all. When I show up at your house and have to make a decision about how best to keep you breathing when I haven't slept for 50 hours and haven't eaten for 18 hours, then maybe you'll have second thoughts about denying me my right to fight for decent working conditions.

Finally, the editorial says that paramedics have no need to strike. If we are not happy where we are, then we should just pack up and go somewhere else where the pay and conditions are better. Be careful what you wish for! There are only about 800 practicing paramedics in Alberta. Many services are cutting back to basic life support [no drugs/painkillers] because of paramedic shortages and it's only going to get worse. The whole country is starting to demand paramedics educated at the Alberta standard and if Alberta doesn't remain competitive our paramedics will leave. Who are you going to call then?

Sincerely,
Trystan Donnelly
Registered Emergency Paramedic

Melts my Heart

Here is a nice story for you all.

Today was a difficult day for me, as Keenan was up really early (for
me) and it was a long day. (no nap)

It seemed as the day got later and later he was just pushing all my
buttons (except I really shouldn't have been doing laundry when he is
awake)...

So I finally get him to go down at 10:15pm, and was getting annoyed
with him that he would not stay laying down, that he would just keep
talking, and singing.

I kept telling him, "head on your pillow Keenan. It is bedtime,
goodnight Keenan." I was feeling really exasperated. (and SUPER hungry).

Keenan then proceeded to put his head on my chest and said "mommy best
friend"

I said, "mommy is your best friend?"

He said, "uh huh. mommy best friend."

My heart melted. I said "you are my best friend too." I then didnt
care how long it took him to fall asleep, as I was content just to
hold my little guy for as long as he needed.

I love when they give you a reality check.